Shitty whinging thread

[canadagoose]

I'm doing crap and I wanted to let you all know for some reason. Maybe some others on here are also doing crap, too, and you can find some solace in telling us about it.

Regular readers of my self-indulgent rubbish may be aware that I've had issues with chronic pain and chronic fatigue for at least 5 years. Prior to that, it wasn't really a problem. And with some exceptions I've coped OK-ish with it. Autumn 2017 was bad but apparently I had a vitamin D deficiency which had been going on for a while, and when that was resolved things got better. But now I'm shite again. (Still on the vit D capsules.) Depression has been getting worse, my anxiety at work has got worse and I'm so knackered. There's always something hurting so I'm always taking ibuprofen, which does wonders for my digestion (urgh). I had stage 2 hypertension at the beginning of the year so I'm on three things for that and I swear they make me feel sick. I've tried to cut my hours at work but they're not keen. I don't know how much longer I can keep things up. I'm so tired, both figuratively and literally. I spend most of my time between shifts in bed and sometimes walking to the shops is too much. Don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. I'm struggling to care about anything and I'm a ruin. I know, melodramatic or what, but it is shite. So what now? I'll probably need to see a psychiatrist and he'll take me off the duloxetine, probably, and then everything will hurt like hell because it treats the chronic pain as well, and then I'll be put on something that'll work for a  year then it'll be back to old clothes and porridge! Yay! Ain't it fun. I really can't be fucked.

Oh yeah, and my best friend is depressed as well and I don't know how to help him. I suggested he go to the doctor but he's never keen to go. Probably cynical about how they can help, or just generally apathetic about everything (I know that feeling).

[Small Man Big Horse]

I'm so sorry to hear that CG, is your GP generally not that helpful? If that is the case I'd suggest asking to see someone else, I've done that in the past and it's helped a lot. As for the pain situation, it seems ibuprofen isn't doing the job in the slightest, so perhaps it's worth asking for something stronger? I've been on codeine for years now and it's helped no end, and it sounds like you definitely need something that'll really help pain wise. And is there anything else you can take for hypertension that won't cause nausea? I wish I could offer up other pieces of advice but given your situation it really does seem like it's down to getting the medication right, and if they do that things will definitely change.

[Buelligan]

I'm really sorry to hear of all your sadness and pain too, Goosie.  I know I always say the same thing, it's because it's the thing I know that's genuinely worked for me and it really is and it really has. 

Clean and love your body, make your hair nice, wear something you love, clean and make your environment lovely, light a candle, make an arrangement - do whatever it is that you'd do if someone special was visiting but do it for yourself. 

Stop thinking round and round about your pain or tiredness or things being bleugh, look at the beauty, focus on it, feel grateful for it, let it warm you.  Even if it's just some warm water to wash in - that's a beautiful luxurious thing.  Think about how good that is and how blessed you are to have it.  When you get into bed, think about how lovely your bed is.  When you eat, think about how great it is to have food.  Try to do this as often as possible with as much as possible.  Gradually it will reset your normal way of feeling and seeing things to a background buzz of things being really pretty wonderful.  It can work with pain too, I know this.

It takes a long time to climb out but it is doable, take one step at a time and you will get there.  I send you all the positivity my heart can muster. 

[canadagoose]

I'm so sorry to hear that CG, is your GP generally not that helpful? If that is the case I'd suggest asking to see someone else, I've done that in the past and it's helped a lot. As for the pain situation, it seems ibuprofen isn't doing the job in the slightest, so perhaps it's worth asking for something stronger? I've been on codeine for years now and it's helped no end, and it sounds like you definitely need something that'll really help pain wise. And is there anything else you can take for hypertension that won't cause nausea? I wish I could offer up other pieces of advice but given your situation it really does seem like it's down to getting the medication right, and if they do that things will definitely change.

Thanks, SMBH. As for my GP I've chopped and changed GP surgeries lately due to moving about and due to the last surgery having trouble with my repeats, to the point where I was running out of medications and they were denying receiving my requests, so I gave up on them. My new one seems OK, if not a bit busy, but they all are now. I'll see if they'll prescribe anything stronger at my visit next week - it always feels like they hate doing that but they might just have to. If it's opiate-based they will hopefully prescribe some laxatives too, based on past experiences... The hypertension medication is actually three separate medications - it was a right faff to get the numbers down. I was on 10mg amlodipine but it was making me hurl so it went down to 5mg. Maybe I can get rid of it altogether.

I'm really sorry to hear of all your sadness and pain too, Goosie.  I know I always say the same thing, it's because it's the thing I know that's genuinely worked for me and it really is and it really has.

Clean and love your body, make your hair nice, wear something you love, clean and make your environment lovely, light a candle, make an arrangement - do whatever it is that you'd do if someone special was visiting but do it for yourself.

Stop thinking round and round about your pain or tiredness or things being bleugh, look at the beauty, focus on it, feel grateful for it, let it warm you.  Even if it's just some warm water to wash in - that's a beautiful luxurious thing.  Think about how good that is and how blessed you are to have it.  When you get into bed, think about how lovely your bed is.  When you eat, think about how great it is to have food.  Try to do this as often as possible with as much as possible.  Gradually it will reset your normal way of feeling and seeing things to a background buzz of things being really pretty wonderful.  It can work with pain too, I know this.

It takes a long time to climb out but it is doable, take one step at a time and you will get there.  I send you all the positivity my heart can muster.

Thanks for that, Buellers - I do often forget to do nice things for myself, as it feels like extra energy expended, but as you say it could do some good. I'm lucky I have access to food - I really should stop eating crap and eat some decent things. Might enjoy it more. I appreciate the positivity too.

Sorry if I don't respond directly to anyone else who posts, I often lose track of threads but I'm not ignoring you if I don't respond, honest.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Oh yeah, and my best friend is depressed as well and I don't know how to help him.

Make him a compilation tape of Martin Gould Best Bits

[canadagoose]

Make him a compilation tape of Martin Gould Best Bits

He'll be sitting on his hands after that. Perfect

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

You want our stories of pain too? I managed to get a little bit of permanent marker on my PS4 Pro a few days ago, and getting it off has resulted in some daft looking smudge on the front. It's upsetting me every time I look at it, if only as a reminder of how much of a dopey twat I am.

I realise this completely trumps your tales of woe, but it's something that I had to get off my chest.

[canadagoose]

You want our stories of pain too? I managed to get a little bit of permanent marker on my PS4 Pro a few days ago, and getting it off has resulted in some daft looking smudge on the front. It's upsetting me every time I look at it, if only as a reminder of how much of a dopey twat I am.

I realise this completely trumps your tales of woe, but it's something that I had to get off my chest.

Yes, I absolutely do, unless it distresses you to share them. So sorry to hear of your PS4 Pro marker incident, I'll send it thoughts and prayers next time I'm at the psychic's

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Thankyou! I feel better now, and I'm sure it does too.

[Norton Canes]

Sorry canadagoose not sure what I can say but have a listen to this, it's never a bad way to spend four minutes.

[canadagoose]

Sorry canadagoose not sure what I can say but have a listen to this, it's never a bad way to spend four minutes.

Aaah, my fave <3

[Small Man Big Horse]

Thanks, SMBH. As for my GP I've chopped and changed GP surgeries lately due to moving about and due to the last surgery having trouble with my repeats, to the point where I was running out of medications and they were denying receiving my requests, so I gave up on them. My new one seems OK, if not a bit busy, but they all are now. I'll see if they'll prescribe anything stronger at my visit next week - it always feels like they hate doing that but they might just have to. If it's opiate-based they will hopefully prescribe some laxatives too, based on past experiences... The hypertension medication is actually three separate medications - it was a right faff to get the numbers down. I was on 10mg amlodipine but it was making me hurl so it went down to 5mg. Maybe I can get rid of it altogether.

I know where you're coming from when it comes to opiate based meds, my Doctor's very reluctant to keep giving them to me but as they were originally prescribed by a specialist he's still doing so. I think all you can do is really stress just how much the pain is fucking up your life (and a few tears never hurt) and hopefully they'll help, even if it is a short term thing just to give you some respite from it all. If not, well, I'd ask for a second opinion personally, as your situation sounds all kinds of horrible and no one should have to suffer like that.

[Cerys]

Huge Welsh hugs for all!

[canadagoose]

Huge Welsh hugs for all!

Diolch yn fawr iawn :)

[bgmnts]

Saesneg only please.

[Piggyoioi]

Have you tried looking at any meditation practices to re contextualise the pain? Once you have a practice in place you might find you can transfigure the pain for a short period, I can only imagine but a short reverie for yourself throughout the day might do wonders for your state of mind.

[Glebe]

Really sorry to hear it Goosie, you deserve a proper break...  positive vibes and that your way. By the way, its good of you to look out for your friend, especially when you're struggling with your own shit. It's his decision whether or not he wants to seek help, of course.

[Noonling]

Have you considered becoming a cyborg? Metal doesn't feel pain.

[canadagoose]

Have you tried looking at any meditation practices to re contextualise the pain? Once you have a practice in place you might find you can transfigure the pain for a short period, I can only imagine but a short reverie for yourself throughout the day might do wonders for your state of mind.

It's funny you should say that - I've tried mindfulness-type things, and I find they can help if I have the concentration and will to do them properly. Sometimes rain noises can help me relax a bit and kind of forget about stuff. Maybe I should do it more often!

Really sorry to hear it Goosie, you deserve a proper break...  positive vibes and that your way. By the way, its good of you to look out for your friend, especially when you're struggling with your own shit. It's his decision whether or not he wants to seek help, of course.

Cheers, Glebe, I appreciate the positive vibes. With any luck my friend will have a change of heart and find some help, but as you say I can't force him. I'll be patient :)

Have you considered becoming a cyborg? Metal doesn't feel pain.

Are you offering? I'll take that offer if you don't mind. Might get some odd attention getting on the bus but maybe you could fit some wheels and a numberplate so I can just zip along on the roads instead.