Fantasy Top Trump Darts

[ollyboro]

Player's Name - Terry "Kiddah" Kidd
BMI - 68
Tattoos - 9 (including scratched out BNP membership number)
Units of alcohol per week - 220
Criminal convictions - 4
Silk polo shirts - 1
Pro-Brexit level - 96% (Shanghai on 16)
Professional tournament wins - 0
Divorces - 5
Own kids who don't want to know him - all 13 of them.

[petril]

Player's Name - Big Mick from the bus depot
Nickname - Big Mick from the bus depot
BMI - 43
Fags per day - 33
Tattoos - 4, but one's a fucking cracker, Roy Chubby Brown with a whole routine in a speech bubble, on his back. Full colour and a full list of bigoted epithets
Units of alcohol per week - 244
Criminal convictions - 1, one conviction, handling stolen goods
Silk polo shirts: none, but has two dozen of those with the contrasting collar and cuffs. Two have epaulettes
Pro-Brexit level - 80% kick em all out, but doesn't trust those posh cunts. They're up to something an' all
Professional tournament wins - 0
Professional tournament fights - 4 (3 wins, 2 knockouts and technical because he'd have had the cunt if his mates hadn't jumped in)
Average knocked off goods in his boot - 18kg
Average take from tournament sponsors - 3000 fags(Embassy, Regal, B&H)
Last haircuit - 1986