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If you don't have anywhere to park your car get fucking rid of it

Started by Rev+, September 19, 2019, 12:10:29 AM

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Rev+

So, if not a near-death experience, at least a near-lengthy-hospital-stay one today.

People who park their cars on the pavement have long pissed me off.  Doesn't matter if it's half-on or fully on, pavements are not fucking car parks.  The pavements in my area are completely unusable for anyone in a wheelchair, and they're barely usable for anyone fully mobile.  You have to either do a sideways slink past the parked cars, or dodge back and forth into the traffic and back onto the path when you get an opening, like a ropey version of Frogger.

My daily route takes me along a narrow road with cars parked at both sides, which means that it's too tight for the opposing traffic to pass normally.  There's a bit of weaving involved.  On this occasion, as I worked out afterwards as it was all a bit of a flash, one car braked, a speeding one behind it went straight into the back of it, propelling it into a parked car that then headed straight for me like shit off a shovel.  I felt the air whoosh as it passed my leg, and if I'd started that journey a second earlier or later I'd have been royally fucked.  The ghost car eventually came to rest by smashing the headlights off another one that was parked on a pavement.

Now, two drivers could and probably were in the wrong here, but if I'd got splattered I'd put the blame on the entitled cunt who parked their shitwagon there.  We're talking about a stretch of road where all of the smallish terraced houses have driveways that accommodate two cars, by the way.  Mum and dad's cars go there, where does Timmy's go?  It goes back to the fucking dealer's, you don't have the space.  I'd quite like a grand piano but it won't fit in my bedroom, I'm not dumping it in the road outside and expecting everyone to just accept that it's right and proper that it's there.

Yeah, sorry, still a bit shaken up so that was a bit of a rant.  I believe street parking is illegal in London but nowhere else in the UK, which makes no sense.  I dunno, talk about cartoons or something?

Fambo Number Mive

I agree - it would also reduce air pollution and encourage more people to use public transport. I suppose you might need to make exemptions for people who work in rural areas, are shift workers or have blue badges for houses that don't have a driveway at all, but it would be great to ban pavement parking in all areas of the UK.

Three ways we should be more like London - regulate buses, ban pavement parking and increase light rail connections. Cities and towns need to learn from each other on what works and what doesn't.

(I know London is bigger than everywhere else in the UK)


BlodwynPig


Icehaven

I'd also add if you've parked on a fairly narrow street and are getting out of your car, when you check to see if there's anything coming, because of course you don't want a passing car booting your precious door off, if there's ''only'' a motorbike coming don't think ''Oh that's OK, I'm sure they can swerve round at one second's notice.'' because actually there's a good chance they fucking can't, and while it won't exactly be good for your door, it'll be a lot worse for the motorcyclist.

oy vey

I'm not suggesting that you pull off their wipers or break their side mirror to send a message. I'm not suggesting that, no sir.

metaltax

This really winds me up. We live on a small street where most houses don't have driveways (we do, thankfully) and the entire street is parked up on the pavement both sides, in some cases including on corners. God knows what's going to happen if ever someone needs to get a fire engine or ambulance down our road. There have also been a couple of new people moving in who have both a car and a work van, so we have that to contend with now. We don't have a bus service near us at all, and I get that car ownership is pretty much the norm now (at least outside of city living), but then the slightly less rational and accepting side of me doesn't give a shit and thinks that, if a house doesn't have a drive, maybe you shouldn't fucking move there with your two vehicles.

Jerzy Bondov

Quote from: metaltax on September 19, 2019, 12:02:48 PM
This really winds me up. We live on a small street where most houses don't have driveways (we do, thankfully) and the entire street is parked up on the pavement both sides, in some cases including on corners. God knows what's going to happen if ever someone needs to get a fire engine or ambulance down our road.
You can get a fire engine to come and try getting down your street to see what it's like. They did it round our way, I think the local community organisation thing organised it somehow. Anyway it squeezed through even though it's cunt parking central so apparently that's fine.

Why does everybody have a van now? Vans everywhere. Fuck off.


Icehaven

Always used to piss me off on property programmes when Kirsty Witchface or whoever would literally scold some young couple when they weren't keen on somewhere because it didn't have parking, as if they were being demanding and silly and should just park on the road or get rid of it completely dammit. They obviously aren't going to give up their (possibly quite necessary) car Kirsty you twat, as if you've ever had to even contemplate dealing with either not having a car, having no space for it or having your insurance premium rocket because you have to park it on the road, so all you're doing is encouraging them to buy a property that doesn't suit their needs and piss their brand new neighbours off just because it might be worth a few more quid in a few years you grasping banshee.

imitationleather

Quote from: Jerzy Bondov on September 19, 2019, 12:06:14 PM
Why does everybody have a van now? Vans everywhere. Fuck off.

Everyone delivers for Amazon in their spare time. Don't you?

Buelligan

Quote from: metaltax on September 19, 2019, 12:02:48 PM
This really winds me up. We live on a small street where most houses don't have driveways (we do, thankfully) and the entire street is parked up on the pavement both sides, in some cases including on corners. God knows what's going to happen if ever someone needs to get a fire engine or ambulance down our road. There have also been a couple of new people moving in who have both a car and a work van, so we have that to contend with now. We don't have a bus service near us at all, and I get that car ownership is pretty much the norm now (at least outside of city living), but then the slightly less rational and accepting side of me doesn't give a shit and thinks that, if a house doesn't have a drive, maybe you shouldn't fucking move there with your two vehicles.

Heheh, you should live round here matey.  Last time I was in a biggish town (still with extremely narrow streets), I saw an old lad park in the road.  He was blocking it entirely.  Hopped out and queued to use the cash machine, I am not even lying.

People sometimes do it in the lane I live on, it's very narrow (under 2m) but luckily, there are few cars and everyone knows the drill.  You wait.  I saw an army personnel carrier come down here once (the lane starts off looking normal) and then try and back out, many hours of fine rural entertainment in that.  Also seen a twat in a huge new 4x4 try to do a u-ey when he saw how narrow it was getting.  Turning in a very tight circle whilst trying to reverse, front wheels went straight up, onto a lowish stone wall.  Then he backed off it, leaving his shiny black twat wagon suspended in the air by the underside of its engine bay resting on the top of the wall.  The fun we have.


Replies From View

There should be a car crusher alongside every bottle bank I think.  It should be made easier for people to crush their cars on their way to work - not harder.

Quote from: icehaven on September 19, 2019, 12:11:53 PM
Always used to piss me off on property programmes when Kirsty Witchface or whoever would literally scold some young couple when they weren't keen on somewhere because it didn't have parking, as if they were being demanding and silly and should just park on the road or get rid of it completely dammit. They obviously aren't going to give up their (possibly quite necessary) car Kirsty you twat, as if you've ever had to even contemplate dealing with either not having a car, having no space for it or having your insurance premium rocket because you have to park it on the road, so all you're doing is encouraging them to buy a property that doesn't suit their needs and piss their brand new neighbours off just because it might be worth a few more quid in a few years you grasping banshee.

That's just property programmes in general though.

"David and Karen are looking for a three bedroom character property in Dorset with a maximum budget of £450,000."

*Host shows them a 2 bed new build in Wiltshire for £500,000*

"I know it's not exactly what you were after, but hopefully this has given you something to think about."

DESOLATION

shiftwork2

Quote from: metaltax on September 19, 2019, 12:02:48 PMThere have also been a couple of new people moving in who have both a car and a work van, so we have that to contend with now.

There's a clause in the (new-ish house) deeds that prohibits any commercial vehicles using my road to park in.  There's a window cleaner who does put his van there but he's sound so ok by me.  Generally though, fuck off wit it - there isn't room.

Jerzy Bondov

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on September 19, 2019, 12:21:21 PM
That's just property programmes in general though.

"David and Karen are looking for a three bedroom character property in Dorset with a maximum budget of £450,000."

*Host shows them a 2 bed new build in Wiltshire for £500,000*

"I know it's not exactly what you were after, but hopefully this has given you something to think about."

DESOLATION
Used to joke about how often the phrase 'this puts the cat among the pigeons' is used on those programmes. Then when we were buying a house I found myself stood in a very nice but quite impractical listed ex-tannery saying 'this puts the cat among the pigeons'.

Quote from: shiftwork2 on September 19, 2019, 12:22:25 PM
There's a clause in the (new-ish house) deeds that prohibits any commercial vehicles using my road to park in.  There's a window cleaner who does put his van there but he's sound so ok by me.  Generally though, fuck off wit it - there isn't room.

Yeah, you should always complain to the council about works vans being parked in your street. Too many builder cunts take advantage of peoples' politeness, using public roads as yards so they can save on costs. Get to fuck.

touchingcloth

When I lived in Bristol my cycle route to work took me down a couple of roads where all of the cars were parked legally on the kerbside, but both sides of the roads were completely full due to none of the houses having driveways.

My ire on my commutes was reserved not for the parkers, but the drivers who would take exception for being behind a cyclist for a couple of hundred metres and would either try the insane maneouvre of trying to overtake me in a space less wide than their own car or else would aggressively approach me to the point of nearly - sometimes actually - clipping my wheel with their bumper. The summer months made it all worth it as I could call a driver a cunt to their face through their wound down window when they eventually managed to pass. 

Twed

Must be fucking awful to own a car in a place where you have to park on the pavement ever. Just a big constant source of mobile stress and baggage.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: shiftwork2 on September 19, 2019, 12:22:25 PM
There's a clause in the (new-ish house) deeds that prohibits any commercial vehicles using my road to park in.  There's a window cleaner who does put his van there but he's sound so ok by me.  Generally though, fuck off wit it - there isn't room.

Those clauses are bullshit pandering to snobbery. Can't have a builder lowering the house prices!!

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on September 19, 2019, 12:37:16 PM
Yeah, you should always complain to the council about works vans being parked in your street. Too many builder cunts take advantage of peoples' politeness, using public roads as yards so they can save on costs. Get to fuck.

This is bollocks. If firms are good enough to let their staff take their vans home they should. What you're advocating is forcing people to buy cars just to drive to a yard to pick up a van. More traffic, more unnecessary cars on the road, more unnecessary journeys.

Quote from: Buelligan on September 19, 2019, 12:14:30 PMI saw an army personnel carrier come down here once (the lane starts off looking normal) and then try and back out, many hours of fine rural entertainment in that.
Similar here. Rural, but there are some light industrial units about half a mile down the lane.  If they get the chance, businesses tell lorry drivers to access the units from the A2 Northbound, then down a particular turnoff.  But satnavs disagree. When a big lorry comes past the house you can wait for about 4-6 minutes for them to drive on, realise the lane is narrowing, reverse a bit, try to get round the corner to another lane, realise that's too tight a turn, then laboriously beep-beep-beep reverse back past my house, snapping branches off trees as they go.

metaltax

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on September 19, 2019, 02:21:50 PM
This is bollocks. If firms are good enough to let their staff take their vans home they should. What you're advocating is forcing people to buy cars just to drive to a yard to pick up a van. More traffic, more unnecessary cars on the road, more unnecessary journeys.

From experience in my area they all own cars anyway.

Icehaven

Quote from: sick as a pike on September 19, 2019, 02:25:24 PM
Similar here. Rural, but there are some light industrial units about half a mile down the lane.  If they get the chance, businesses tell lorry drivers to access the units from the A2 Northbound, then down a particular turnoff.  But satnavs disagree. When a big lorry comes past the house you can wait for about 4-6 minutes for them to drive on, realise the lane is narrowing, reverse a bit, try to get round the corner to another lane, realise that's too tight a turn, then laboriously beep-beep-beep reverse back past my house, snapping branches off trees as they go.

There was an article on the news a few weeks ago about some bridge that keeps getting hit by lorries, has done for years apparently, and it puts the road and bridge out of use for weeks while it's being repaired. I'm sure they have these things in the States which are basically like huge goalposts over the road a few hundred feet before a bridge in either direction, and they have a sign hanging off saying ''if you hit this sign, you'll hit the next bridge.'' Why don't we have them here?

Edit; I've actually misremembered and it's not goalpost type things, it's posts either side with the sign suspended over the road, which is probably safer.


Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on September 19, 2019, 02:21:50 PM
This is bollocks. If firms are good enough to let their staff take their vans home they should. What you're advocating is forcing people to buy cars just to drive to a yard to pick up a van. More traffic, more unnecessary cars on the road, more unnecessary journeys.

No, what I'm advocating for is people to run their businesses from appropriate premises rather than using their neighbourhood as a makeshift depot to avoid paying rent and business rates. Because that's what this is. It's always self-employed tradesmen.

Quote from: metaltax on September 19, 2019, 02:33:50 PM
From experience in my area they all own cars anyway.

Exactly. The joiner and his wife up the road from me have their Mercs safely parked away on the property, whilst his van is out on the road taking up two parking spaces. Wouldn't want your van in a drive blocking out the light from your property would you, mate?

That's another thing that fucks me off too; knocking down your whole front wall and converting your front garden into a double/triple driveway so that no-one else can park in front of your house.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: icehaven on September 19, 2019, 02:39:52 PM
Why don't we have them here?

Because it's a problem that doesn't happen that often in this country (in relative terms) - we have far fewer too-low-for-trucks-and-other-tall-vehicles bridges on main roads and the usual supply routes and we have a much better and tighter standard of drivers being aware of the size limits of their vehicles than in the States.  Also most of our bridges that do get built over main supply routes are still civil engineering projects and therefore they all meet certain size standards, whereas in the States - particularly in small towns and rural areas that are on a major supply route - they can still employ Jim Bob and Son's Bridge Building Co., as I believe there's some state/local government law about certain things being built by local independent companies or summat but there are no national standards that need to be met (seem to remember that from one of those Long Haulers or Ice Road Big Vans shows where they had to drive 100 miles out of their way because of a too low bridge to get somewhere that was 1 mile away, or something).

All that being the case, the cost of putting up and maintaining such signs is much more expensive than when a vehicle does hit a bridge.  I'm pretty sure we also have health and safety restrictions with regard to how things are suspended above a road, which is why all of our traffic lights are on solid poles and solid overhangs, unlike most small towns in the States where they're just suspended from the cable that provides their power, so a floppy sign like the one in the pic probably wouldn't be allowed.

Blumf

There's a railway bridge near Sandwell & Dudley station that's always getting a lorry jammed under it. Combination of low bridge and dip in the road means the trailer can get right under it before it wedges.

They've put up some sensors that light up a sign when a high HGV passes by.

https://goo.gl/maps/GSwoaYLTSH85tqBy7

Mister Six

Does nobody just walk up these things with their keys out, "accidentally" carving a trench down the side of every offending vehicle?

Endicott

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on September 19, 2019, 03:29:32 PM
That's another thing that fucks me off too; knocking down your whole front wall and converting your front garden into a double/triple driveway so that no-one else can park in front of your house.

People don't do this to stop others parking in front of their house though do they, although it is a side effect of doing it. They do it so that they don't have to take up parking spaces in front of other people's houses. It's a social rather than an antisocial thing to do. This way they don't all argue about who's parking where.

Build more car parks. If people are gonna buy cars, might as well build enough car parks to keep them safe and out of the way. There's a lot of municipal park land which isn't used very often except by young people sitting around. Just get some benches and they can sit around the edge of the car park.

Sebastian Cobb