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March 28, 2024, 09:01:45 AM

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Funny poetry

Started by Scarlet Intangible, September 19, 2019, 05:03:46 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
Are there any poems that make you laugh as much as your favourite tv comedy? Anything that makes you 'lose your shit' laughing?

I've yet to read a poem that made me laugh and idk whether it's because there aren't any or because I just haven't found them yet.

Anyone know any?

Grendle

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Keebleman

There was a young boy from Devizes
Who had balls of different sizes.
The left one was small
And no good at all,
But the right one was big, and won prizes.

Keebleman

There was a young girl from Penzance
Who boarded a bus in a trance.
All the passengers fucked her
As did the conductor,
But the driver went off in his pants.

Keebleman

There was a young lady from Crewe
Who said, as the curate withdrew,
"The vicar was slicker,
And quicker, and thicker,
And longer and stronger than you."

Technically impressive that one, what with internal rhymes and what-not.

studpuppet

Mary had a little lamb
Which always was a-gruntin'.
So she tied it to a five-bar gate,
And kicked its little cunt in.

- The Brand New Monty Python Bok

JesusAndYourBush

How fair her face
How fair her grace
How fair her sylph-like figure

Not so fair
the maniacal stare
of Gary who's much bigger

- Spike Milligan

EDIT: From memory, then I Googled and saw I'd misremembered parts of it. Fuck it, I like my version better.