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Strictly Come Dancing 2019

Started by machotrouts, September 21, 2019, 06:55:23 AM

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touchingcloth

How the FUCK is Alice In Wonderland related to Halloween?

kalowski

Why is Karim dressed as Leo Sayer?

olliebean

Was there anything good in it this week? Couldn't be arsed to watch it tonight but I'll iPlayer it tomorrow if there was something good in it.

kalowski

Quote from: olliebean on October 26, 2019, 10:06:26 PM
Was there anything good in it this week? Couldn't be arsed to watch it tonight but I'll iPlayer it tomorrow if there was something good in it.
Karim dressed as Leo Sayer

There's someone leaking the results on Digital Spy's Strictly forum each week. I didn't realise the Sunday show was pre-recorded.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: confettiinmyhair on October 27, 2019, 01:36:58 PM
There's someone leaking the results on Digital Spy's Strictly forum each week. I didn't realise the Sunday show was pre-recorded.

Desolation

machotrouts

Can't believe I forwent a real life Halloween party to watch this bullshit. I don't have the luxury of just not going to parties like a normal friends-having person. I do internet forum posts instead of having a social life. I google words like "forwent" to make sure they exist before I say them.

I'm normally on board with all the stupid concepts this show pulls out of its arse – I'm an Inane Saturday Night TV Spectacle purist, and any proper dancing just gets in the way of that – but "Karim dancing a... Stranger Things-themed... paso doble, to... Smalltown Boy" is proper pulled-from-a-hat shit. Are actual people to blame for that routine, or do they just delegate it to algorithms now? I did like the wig, but only for sex reasons.

Latest sort-of-shock result is that Eva from Corrie's gone, though it's only a shock because people spent 6 weeks expecting her to become good eventually, not because she ever actually was. Though I am a bit nonplussed by Chris's presence now – not sure what's kept him in beyond week 3 or so. I don't think it's comedy. Maybe people are expecting him to become funny eventually?

kalowski

Probably the first time the duchess was judged and lost. Used to being given everything in life.
Won't be missed.

olliebean

Pretty clear it's fixed now, though, given the state of the dance that beat her, and the disconnect between the reality of that and the judge's comments.

BlodwynPig

Try listening to Strictly Come Dancing when you are in another room, the ebb and flow of hysterical but forced screaming...then I walk in at the end and the presenters always look abject, embarrassed. I saw the finale last year and it was maybe a rung or half a rung above school play level ineptitude. Sparkles on the cow dung, that's what this is. When the lights go off, its just an empty cold warehouse.

amateur


BlodwynPig


machotrouts

Last week Will withdrew due to injury – why do unretired athletes do Strictly? Why not train for Tokyo 2020 by jumping in a meat grinder instead you poor mad twat – and Random Ass Viscountess was eliminated due to who cares. The final will have three couples instead of four now, meaning we'll be robbed of the usual bizarre and stupid outcome of having a big fat runner-up pile-up. Absolute tragedy that we can't have half the fucking show come joint 2nd for no apparent reason.

Shirley Ballas has been faving tweets slagging off Anton for talking over her, including one calling for him to be sacked, which I guess somewhat elucidates the frostiness to Emma I posted about earlier. It's a bit of a weird dynamic isn't it. Head Judge gives some critique, Comedy Pro butts in with his meandering attempts at comedy, Head Judge gets very earnestly upset about it. Some people have defended her with something like "well constantly interrupting her would be a very rude thing for him to do in a normal workplace" but I do think you can adapt your social skills a bit when you're entertainers on the telly, can't you. Most people would get sacked for doing a big horny rumba in their office too, but that's par for the course here. Also she obviously had knives out for him on week 1 so it's hard to blame him even if he is being genuinely passive-aggressive and not just going through his "well, unfortunately I'm Anton du Beke, so I guess I'd better let a comedy riff tumble out my mouth and die on its arse" motions.

I will concede that there might be many good reasons for her to have an established behind-the-scenes grievance with Anton. Not beyond the realms that the only pro the BBC has had to reprimand for using a racist slur against a partner might be a bit challenging to work with off-camera. You don't get partnered up with that many Tories for NOT being a cunt, do you.

touchingcloth

He's shit, Anton. Lazy and past it so he never trains his pros properly, and spends the dance gurning at the audience rather than paying any attention to his partner like it's the Pan Pacific Grand Prix. I think he wants to bow out early on full pay so he phones it in, and he's, what, 73? And also just a general cunt and a tool.

Lovely foxtrot, though.

By which I mean in the phonetic alphabet sense, for F.

By which I mean fuck.

He's a lovely fuck.

Rolf Lundgren

I do wonder if Anton looks around and wonders what might have been. There was a brief period where he was going to be a breakout star. Team captain and then host on Hole in the Wall. Talk of becoming head judge when Len left. Talk of becoming host when Bruce died. But now back where he started, never within a country mile of winning and other TV work drying up.

kalowski

Opening routine reminded me of Norman Wisdom for some reason.

machotrouts

My mum said "aw, put a vote in for Michelle" when I went to use my 3 free votes, which of course I didn't (1 for Karim, 2 for Mike), so I'm pleased to announce that was all my fault. I refuse to warm to her (Michelle, not my mum) (well...). During The X Factor series 13, Michelle tweeted for people to vote for Matt Terry – over Saara Aalto. Didn't even go for the cowardly Lib Dem option of 5 After Midnight. As far as X Factor alignments go, voting Matt is full-on Tory. Bet she voted for James Jordan in Dancing on Ice too. The woman is a full-time nemesis to the gays. God knows how she votes in America. Probably donates to Pete Buttigieg.

Strictly audiences don't rally round shit-in-an-entertaining-way, bless-'em-for-trying celebrities nearly as often as you'd think – you'll get a Widdecombe or a Balls once every election cycle, but more often than not, aspiring crowdpleasers like Mike Bushell somehow end up more popular with the judges than the voters. Yet every series, voters seem to inexplicably fixate on at least one celebrity who's just slightly shit and completely boring to watch – the perpetually-second-from-bottom league, your Gemma Atkinsons, Craig Kellies, Victoria Pendleston, Lauren Steadmen – and this year it seems to be Chris Ramsey. Only reason I ever see for anyone liking him is "he's nice". What makes him nicer than anyone else? They all seem about as superficially "nice" as each other, and nobody who goes along with poppy appeal shit can fundamentally be a good person. Imprison them all and let us watch an empty ballroom, as is just.

jsgibble

This is the first series I've watched it but I'm enjoying it quite a bit, the farce of it seems to work independently of the competition aspect of it, as opposed to most reality / contest things where it's an awkward mixture of the two that ends up working on neither front. And some pretty surreal moments for a show that gets 10m viewers a week.

kalowski

The Geordie bloke is awful yet, like a You Gov poll, seems to be getting a huge swing behind him for some reason.

machotrouts

Michelle Visage, Nemesis to the Gays, lands one final blow to my community – passionately, gushingly, blubberingly devoting her dance to us, before serving up one of the most SHITE routines of all time. You know you've fucked up when the judges afterwards just wince and go "I appreciate the sentiment". She is ruthlessly committed to the annihilation of homosexuality, and she must be – and has been – stopped.

To be fair, while Visage seems about 5% as good at voguing as she needs to be to get away with the personality she has, she had nothing to work with. No voguing expert here, it predates my baby gay ass, but there's definitely more to it than just standing around doing staid Madonna armography. A routine where every dancer is a backing dancer, including the celebrity, is a novel concept for Strictly, I'll give them that.

I'm not sure it's good news for the show that 3 of the 6 dancers remaining still have a lower average score than 13th place Dev.

Twit 2

I'm with Blodwyn on this one.

My wife loves this shit. Laps it up. Makes me watch various dances, which I do arms folded, literally and metaphorically. Whole programme brings me out in a rash. It's just yammering, shrieking, glittering banality going round and round in a carnival of grotesquerie. Leering, jeering madness. Revulsion in 3/4. Tess Daly. You just know that after filming, Craig has to be wheeled away by greased up sailors from the Dutch colonial army for a stint of hard buggery and poppers; his brain blasted with cum until he's an amnesiac, and all the foetid memory of being forced into the role of a sub-Cowell pantomime contrarian has leaked out of his smarmy ears.

I like Bruno, though, his ebullience and eloquence is sweet.

machotrouts

Quote from: machotrouts on November 19, 2019, 02:56:05 AMI'm not sure it's good news for the show that 3 of the 6 dancers remaining still have a lower average score than 13th place Dev.

Saffron getting voted Saffroff makes that 3 out of 5 dancers. And looks like nobody (but me) is voting for one of the other 2.

6 dances isn't really enough to pad out an episode of this. They not bothering with a clusterfuck-a-thon this year?

kalowski

Jeanette Man-rar-rar really fucks me off: gurning twazzock.

kalowski

Kelvin gets 23 more points from judges than useless Chris, but this gap is then converted into a gap of 3 points.
Fucking nonsense.