Obvious things that you've only just realised (Vol. 2)

[Mister Cairo]

Unless he tells us within the next 5 minutes, I'm going to assume the film he wanted was Lick My Poo Off My Unwashed Anus While I Jizz On Your Jugs while the film he got was actually Lick My Jizz Off My Unwashed Jugs While I Poo Into Your Anus.

You can imagine how disappointed he must have been.

Okay, if you really want to know the film I wanted was "Nurse Abuse" but instead it was a different Dorcel film called "Hot Nurses 3". No Sharka Blue at all, but they guy said "I've seen all these scenes come up.

Once I've e-mailed various people I'll decide what to do.

And I bet most people on here buy porn films now and again! Some people seem very prudish! (not prudent).

[Purple Tentacle]

But the internet is 90% porn! Why pay money?

I've been lobbying Neil for years for a porn forum to be added, but he won't listen. It would be like 'What do you look like?', only even more disappointing.

[Mister Cairo]

This film isn't on the internet at all, and I like some of the people starring in it.

From now on I won't buy any more porn. I'm not risking this happening again. I don't use that much porn though, but I am single so it's porn or passing strangers.

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

But the internet is 90% porn! Why pay money?

Indeed, sounds to me like you'd be better off torrenting something like the Animal Trainer series.

What's the general premise of Nurse Abuse?

edit - when I say premise, I mean what sub-genre

[mook]

It's overly forceful catheter porn isn't it. A bit like extreme sounding but with the safety value of using hollow implement to let dangerous cock gas to escape. Either that or ladies in uniforms letting bad actors play with their bumholes.

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

I don't know.  Wasn't going to search for it at work.  If somebody could possibly PM me the plot (and script, if possible) I'd be grateful

[SetToStun]

I don't know.  Wasn't going to search for it at work.  If somebody could possibly PM me the plot (and script, if possible) I'd be grateful

I don't quite know how to broach this, really, but you seem to be obsessing more than a little over this film. Do you have any unresolved personal issues that should be discussed with a member of the caring professions, by any chance?

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

Two posts is hardly obsessing.  You seem to be obsessed with whether or not I'm obsessed

[mook]

Just admit it, you're a little obsessed.

Anyway, just pity me. I googled "Nurse abuse" and now have the proof of it stuck on the google bar of my girlfriends PC.

[butnut]

I can't find either of those films on IMDB. I think he made them up!

[Mister Cairo]

Just admit it, you're a little obsessed.

Anyway, just pity me. I googled "Nurse abuse" and now have the proof of it stuck on the google bar of my girlfriends PC.

Try the French for it. Both films are from Marc Dorcel, so probably won't be on IMDB in their English names.

Infirmires Abusees is Nurse Abuse in French (spelling?).

Or just have a look through DORCELSHOP, there aren't many nurse films.

[SetToStun]

Two posts is hardly obsessing.  You seem to be obsessed with whether or not I'm obsessed

Possibly, but it was the "what film did you want and what film did you get. I need to know" and the "can someone send me the script" bits (the script - for a skin-flick?) that made me wonder. In a very winkysmileyface kind of way, of course...

Although it's possible that my obsessing over your putative obsession is somewhat more worrying.

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

That post just cements the fact that you're obsessing over whether or not I'm obsessed.  I might be obsessed with your obsession.

This is where I wish we had smilies, the "I need to know" and script requests were obviously tongue in bottom, sorry I meant to say tongue in cheek

[Brutus Beefcake]

http://www.dorcelshop.com/film.asp?catalogid=326&formatid=1

The Satyres!

[Mister Cairo]

Talking about porn is okay on this board isn't it?

Sorry to the mods if I'm wrong, but it was related to being conned, not just "what genre of porn do you like then, lol!"

No doubt everybody thinks I'm a right pervert, but I bet everybody's got the odd porn film at the back of their chest of drawers.

[Purple Tentacle]

chest

Hur hur!

drawers

HUR HUR HUR HURRR!!!

[Neville Chamberlain]

I've just discovered that it's Currys.Digital, not Dixons.

Well, bugger me!

[the midnight watch baboon]

I'm a right pervert

Heehee!

[Joy Nktonga]

Cheers for the info aaaaaaaaaargh!. It's been a very long while since I've been in there and hadn't noticed it'd changed. Might actually open my eyes next time I'm in town. Enjoy your leaving thingy (are you leaving the town or a job?) tomorrow.

Thanks for the clarification STS.

Oh god mrpants, you were one of them? Tsk.

[mrpants]

Oh god mrpants, you were one of them? Tsk.

Yes, sadly.  Is it any consolation that I hated every minute of it?

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

But the internet is 90% porn! Why pay money?

Because if no-one actually bought it, no-one would make it, and we wouldn't get it for free anymore.

Just like music, games and films.

[fanny splendid]

Good point.

Thank-you Mister Cairo for paying for my free porn.

[Caroline]

Hey! Porn fiends! Find your own debased thread!

Obvious thing I only just realised

Traffic wardens work on commission! Well I never.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

Hey! Porn fiends! Find your own debased thread!

Obvious thing I only just realised

Traffic wardens work on commission! Well I never.

Heh, this reminds me of some outraged headline in the Evening Standard: "PARKING ATTENDANT SACKED FOR NOT ISSUING ENOUGH TICKETS". As if that's such a terrible, shocking thing, showing how the council is just out to fleece poor, honest motorists. Err, no. He's a parking attendant, issuing parking tickets is his job. Of course he should be sacked if he's not doing it!

[rudi]

I guess (and he was probably giving NO tickets or somesuch - details are so important in these matters) but having a quota is a weird situation in some jobs, surely?

How would you feel if undertakers were on a quota?

[chav]

Fine, I mean it won't stop murder being illegal. And if they're hurrying to bury already-dead bodies, well that's all to the good, what with flies and that.

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Hey! Porn fiends! Find your own debased thread!

Obvious thing I only just realised

Traffic wardens work on commission! Well I never.

Parking attendants don't work on commision.

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

Cheers for the info aaaaaaaaaargh!. It's been a very long while since I've been in there and hadn't noticed it'd changed. Might actually open my eyes next time I'm in town. Enjoy your leaving thingy (are you leaving the town or a job?) tomorrow.

Just leaving job.  Had four pints and a double whisky in my hour lunch so will probably take myself out of the game fairly early tonight

[Joy Nktonga]

That's some lunch hour! I'm not surprised you're thinking of bowing out early tonight. Are congrats in order? For a new job I mean.

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

Um, without wishing for this thread to become my social diary, "taking myself out of the game" will probably be an involuntary thing, rather than a concious decision.  That was the closest I could get to a six pint lunch.  New job is wicked, pays loads and is better that the one I'm leaving