Main Menu

Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 29, 2024, 12:56:08 AM

Login with username, password and session length

The Apprentice 2019

Started by Malcy, September 24, 2019, 12:49:37 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

touchingcloth

Quote from: Blue Jam on October 24, 2019, 11:07:18 PM
SHUT UP GHANDI (sic)

Gandhi wasn't a random choice of mine. Loadsapillahs. 

New pillah cunt.

Blue Jam

Awwwww, bad luck, Camp Mark Selby.

NEXT WEEK:

"I want you to design a roller coaster"

FUCK YEAH

touchingcloth


EOLAN

Even as a history nerd myself, surely the dates of the World Wars is a basic fact you learn in school, especially in Britain. Could you really have 6 somewhat educated people who couldn't know this.

Malcy

Quote from: EOLAN on October 31, 2019, 12:16:16 AM
Even as a history nerd myself, surely the dates of the World Wars is a basic fact you learn in school, especially in Britain. Could you really have 6 somewhat educated people who couldn't know this.

The Yanks excuse for not knowing was pathetic. What the fuck was Lottie on hiking a price UP?! Claude's faces were great this week.

Posh boy had a proper sweat on from running a few yards, if he makes it to the interviews he'll be in a puddle.

touchingcloth

Quote from: EOLAN on October 31, 2019, 12:16:16 AM
Even as a history nerd myself, surely the dates of the World Wars is a basic fact you learn in school, especially in Britain. Could you really have 6 somewhat educated people who couldn't know this.

Yeah, those dates are drummed into you. I can't remember being taught them for the first time, but I can't remember ever not knowing them. 

Being charitable I had a thought that maybe it's because these candidates are almost 15 years younger than me and might therefore be from the first generation where it's not common to have grandparents with the first hand experience of living through the war, but I think they're just dunces really given that that's my situation with the First World War and I've known those dates for as long as I can remember, too.

Quote from: Malcy on October 31, 2019, 08:26:17 AM
Posh boy had a proper sweat on from running a few yards, if he makes it to the interviews he'll be in a puddle.

He'll have a lovely brocade kerchief for wiping himself down with, at least.

Blue Jam

Seeing The Librarian Of Death and Mad Magazine sharing a hug at the end made me shudder. I imagined them having ghastly snake-eyed Tory babies.

touchingcloth

YES! I was like how the fuck are these two unholies mates? I suspect they're both psychopaths, though. Have you ever known the sorts of people who squee and hug you every time they see you even though you're left wondering what intersections you've ever shared that would lead to that? Psychos with no genuine emotions who thinks that's how normies react to each other, I reckon.

Blue Jam

It looks like I was wrong- it wasn't Mad Magazine she was undressing with her snake eyes:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7634273/The-Apprentice-star-Lottie-Lion-brands-fling-Lewis-Ellis-DISRESPECTFUL-posting-cruel-meme.html

Ewwwwwww... Sorry for the Daily Heil link, but the original source was The S*n.

touchingcloth

Here's a donotlink for it - https://donotlink.it/mJEKv

They'll still record a click, but google at least won't strengthen their ranking based on a link.

I didn't catch Eyes O'Death making...eyes...at anyone, thought you were talking about the disgusting hug she shared with Mad Mag.

Does anyone else suspect that Mad Mag might be being played by a moderately prostheticised Steve Pemberton?

Blue Jam

Cheers, I had thought donotlink was defunct.

touchingcloth

I think it is defunct. At least the one I remember used to make a clone of the webpage and host it themselves, so the final site wouldn't even get a page visit. Seems to be a different site using the same name, unless I've misremembered how it used to work.

Blue Jam

I suspect Mad Mag is Lottie's inflatable man.

Blue Jam

https://donotlink.it/glYYB

Lottie totally wants to do an FHM shoot. Cracking a whip. Or a riding crop. Or a "BREXIT MEANS BREXIT" banner.

touchingcloth

The picture of her PUTTING ON A SIZZLING DISPLAY in a mint green bikini looks mostly like she's lifting up to release a fart, and fixing those eyes of doom right on the camera as she does.

Hot.

Paul Calf

Kardashian Cold Dead Eye Motherfucker.

touchingcloth

I've just remembered some proper boardroom deso.

Alan: So, Lottie - you were sub team leader.

Lottie: Yes. Finally, lord Sugar!

Rolf Lundgren

Liked Lottie's foot-stamping about business not being about gambling when that's almost fundamentally what it is. There's been quite a lot of definitions this series about what business is or isn't, usually a couple of the 19 year olds lecture each other about it.

You'd think by now they'd realise that this task always has a bunch of red herrings and they need to work out exactly what they're looking for. I was applauding them for thinking of going to a library to look them up before they asked the nearest librarian rather than go on a computer.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Rolf Lundgren on October 31, 2019, 05:37:10 PM
Liked Lottie's foot-stamping about business not being about gambling when that's almost fundamentally what it is. There's been quite a lot of definitions this series about what business is or isn't, usually a couple of the 19 year olds lecture each other about it.

Lottie would have had a point if Thomas had made a rash gamble. Having agreed on £50 already, it was quite smart to flip a coin for a choice of £40 if he won, or the already agreed £50 if he lost, given that there's no upside for the seller in taking that gamble. A bad call would have been "heads it's £40, tails it's £60".

QuoteYou'd think by now they'd realise that this task always has a bunch of red herrings and they need to work out exactly what they're looking for. I was applauding them for thinking of going to a library to look them up before they asked the nearest librarian rather than go on a computer.

The producers probably wouldn't let them if they'd have tried. They're all carrying around smartphones they're not allowed to use to browse the internet, or even to make calls to the other members of their team unless the producers sanction in.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Rolf Lundgren on October 31, 2019, 05:37:10 PM
Liked Lottie's foot-stamping about business not being about gambling when that's almost fundamentally what it is.

That stood out for me too. I remember Lordsuralan saying something to Cindy Burger Lucinder Ledgerwood like "You're in risk management? Well, I'm a businessman, I take risks".

Library Snake's comment was up there with that posh guy who said "I'm into art and culture, not football", thinking that would impress someone with a big stake in Tottenham Hotspur.

touchingcloth

Even by his standards, Alan's "us Jewish folk have one Passover a year - you seemed to have one a week" was abysmal.

Blue Jam

I did wonder if that was one of Danny Baker's...

Gurke and Hare

Michael Macintyre baby must have a fucking amazing business idea.

"Woooooo! We saved 25p on the plate!" *hands over £150 no questions asked for the punting thing*

Rolf Lundgren

Quote from: touchingcloth on October 31, 2019, 05:47:25 PM
The producers probably wouldn't let them if they'd have tried. They're all carrying around smartphones they're not allowed to use to browse the internet, or even to make calls to the other members of their team unless the producers sanction in.

I wish they'd be more explicit about it and tell us what the rules are. The internet is out but they're allowed to speak to anyone they like in the hope they have the answer? It's enough of a challenge to get the items at a cheap price let alone work out what they're supposed to be getting.

Did the skeleton thing a few years back kick all this ambiguity off? I'm sure in the first few series the items were all straightforward but after the Spanish bloke tried to outfox them by getting the paper skeleton because technically it was a skeleton, the producers have put vague ones in there to encourage the contestants to bend the rules and then get a bollocking for it. I can imagine if the team yesterday had stuck with their £4 Alice in Wonderland book then Alan would be quipping about them being like Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber.

touchingcloth

They've always had people try it on with ambiguous things even before skellington gate,  I think. I remember Alan got the hump a bit at that one because he was complaining that it needed to be "a real bleedin skellington" even though the team which did get one he considered real got one made of plastic and not, you know, a skellington, but he doubled down and wouldn't accept the cardboard one, which was way craftier of an idea than thinking you'd be able to get away with a reprint of a classic book.

I'm sure he votes Tory, but I really do enjoy Thomas.

touchingcloth


kngen

Quote from: Pearly-Dewdrops Drops on November 01, 2019, 04:11:58 AM
I'm sure he votes Tory, but I really do enjoy Thomas.

I'm definitely warming to him. You could see Lottie was seething, thinking 'Why aren't these peasants carrying me around on a sedan chair?' when he a had propah geezah coin-toss knees-up with the punt fella.

If the producers have any sense they'll focus on this class war element and every task from now on will swing from 'How many dodgy exploding lighters can you sell in Stratford Market in an afternoon?' to 'Set up a dressage school in the home counties for children so posh their chin disappears under their top lip'.

mjwilson

Fuck, rowing as a reward. That's grim.

poloniusmonk

Not even rowing. Sitting in a bath in a shed.