The Apprentice 2019

[Gurke and Hare]

They did say they didn't want the alcohol to run out though, so when racist librarian said "Maybe even a bottle each" she was obviously underestimating.

[Jasha]

Works jolly with a free bar, no one's gonna say "No thanks I've had enough" are they

[Jasha]

Ring ring, ring ring

bonjour

[touchingcloth]

So exited to find out what Lucozade make of the lyrics "I have to go" in a jingle for their soft drink. 

[Spode]

I've missed the bit where they explain the task at the start and have not got a fucking clue what's supposed to be happening.

[touchingcloth]

I've missed the bit where they explain the task at the start and have not got a fucking clue what's supposed to be happening.

Music.

[touchingcloth]

Marianne in Cafe de Fail:

You don't give away 50%! Whoever gives away 50% in business?!

This on the show where the prize is giving away 50% of your business.

[Alberon]

Pillahs is fucked, surely?

[Jasha]

Pillahs is fucked, surely?

Pillahs and the yank...both barrels

[touchingcloth]

I thought Pillahs was PM and thought he was definitely fucked. Now that brunette man is actually PM, I'm not so sure.

[Jasha]

what's your business plan?

International cosmetics

Travel brand

Pillaaaaaaaaahs

[touchingcloth]

A new type of pillow? Twice as good and half the price? Removes wrinkles while you sleep?

NAH LOAAAAAADSA PILLAAAAAHS

His own show by Christmas.

[Blue Jam]

Never mind Pillahs, you are destined for much greater things.

[Malcy]

Shame to see Thomas gone.

Did anyone else hear the announcer say "he joins TIM Allen over on BBC2"?

Lottie "been in the music industry for 14 years" needs to fuck off soon. Had enough of her know it all but do nothing to prove it bullshit week in week out.

Her and the underwear salesman are in a relationship. Hope they don't have kids.

[Jasha]

Never mind Pillahs, you are destined for much greater things.

Home shopping channel

[touchingcloth]

Lottie's 15 years of industry experience amounting to learning the cello at 4 haha fuck off snake chops.

[Blue Jam]

This new host on You're Fired is insufferable, even next to Russell Kane.

Big cheer for PILLAHS

EDIT: I only lasted five minutes of that. Bring back Chiles.

[touchingcloth]

I like Tom Allen, but even for a tired old nag the You're Fired format has really suffered this series - it's like they've tried applying the massive BBC budget cuts starting with that show, so there's no budget even for AIDS-tier pun writers, and the parting gifts are now all crappy wooden hands, when they used to bung twenty quid and the morning of someone in a props department at it.

Did anyone think Pillahs looked absolutely knackered and deranged in this episode? He'd lost every scrap of his charm when he barrelled in with "love ya song, fifty fifty?"

[Hat FM]

Lottie dancing to the bands like a derranged mum trying to be hip was so weird considering she is only 19. i enjoyed when she went in for a hug with nameless man with dark hair and he rejected her.

Poor old pillahs. taken out the back and shot in the back of the head after the show.

[mjwilson]

Lottie's 15 years of industry experience amounting to learning the cello at 4 haha fuck off snake chops.

Stop getting string instruments wrong

[touchingcloth]

Stop getting string instruments wrong

I didn't actually pay attention to what she said. I caught that she said "...I've been playing the such and such since then" when quizzed.

[dr beat]

That challenge was pretty much lifted from the Daryl the racist episode of Peep Show. I was fully expecting one of the corporate clients to be Honda and the American woman to start singing 'Look out they're gonna get you, they're gonna get you baby'.

[touchingcloth]

Heh. I'd have loved it if Pillahs has given the note "what we need to do is create a powerful sense of dread".

[Blue Jam]

I'd have loved it if Lottie had been playing the cor anglais for 14 years

[touchingcloth]

I'd have loved it if Lottie was a big racist who'd never even met a black person.

[kngen]

I hope call her bluff and make her play the viola during the interviews and she tries to throw herself out of one of the glass windows out of sheer embarrassment, but bounces off because she probably weighs about the same as a bag of sprouts.

[GMTV]

Lottie dancing to the bands like a derranged mum trying to be hip was so weird considering she is only 19. i enjoyed when she went in for a hug with nameless man with dark hair and he rejected her.

Poor old pillahs. taken out the back and shot in the back of the head after the show.

Also her partridge-esque line "I can also nail a kendrick lamar album"

[touchingcloth]

Also her partridge-esque line "I can also nail a kendrick lamar album"

Is that what she said? Bahahaha. I caught a "something something Kendrick Lamar", but I don't know what a Kendrick Lam are.

[mjwilson]

She also said "I don't want to call it a talent, that sounds really cocky, but it is a talent."

(If you don't have an orchestral background, by the way, then viola players are famously the worst.)

[touchingcloth]

It is a talent, but without elaborating - having a grade 8, being a former member of the LSO, both of which would point to someone having a level of skill worthy of some respect compared with your average person off the street - it could be a shit talent.

I can play the guitar and the flute, but I wouldn't preface that with "without wanting to get cocky", because anyone who heard me play either instrument would react with a meh at the very best.