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The Apprentice 2019

Started by Malcy, September 24, 2019, 12:49:37 PM

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touchingcloth

Quote from: QDRPHNC on October 16, 2019, 04:48:23 AM
I am so sick of the word "passion", in both the Apprentice and in life.

What do you do if you want to order a p-fruit and Allsorts lolly from the ice cream van?

imitationleather

This is the first series I've completely avoided. The past five or so years I've vowed to stop watching as it was so unenjoyable, then last year I would often go and sit in the other room while my missus watched it. This time round I've finally totally given up the habit, lads.

Couldn't be happier. Loving life. Clean and serene.

A shame because I would quite like to see that one with the stupid name in action.

Paul Calf

You could just have one little episode after work. Help you unwind...

Hat FM

i thought last weeks episode was great. maybe sneak in ten minutes of it while no one is looking?

dr beat

I still enjoy it.  Treating it like a dumb gameshow which has long lost any aspirations to being an accurate reflection of business helped greatly.  Even SirAlan treats it like a bit of a laugh now.  Someone a while back likened it to effectively being the Generation Game which I agree with.

EOLAN

Quote from: dr beat on October 16, 2019, 11:21:11 AM
I still enjoy it.  Treating it like a dumb gameshow which has long lost any aspirations to being an accurate reflection of business helped greatly.  Even SirAlan treats it like a bit of a laugh now.  Someone a while back likened it to effectively being the Generation Game which I agree with.

Yep. And usually wanting the worst ones to be kept in. One thing I hate is how the firings are so predictable by always having the big build up to someone being fired and then Sir Lord Alun HotSpurs says "But...". Could at least mix it up with some straight firings.
Obviously "This is a very difficult decision" has to be used in a drinking game; especially when he don't care which piece of shit he fires.

Jasha

Quote from: Paul Calf on October 16, 2019, 10:57:27 AM
You could just have one little episode after work. Help you unwind...

A cheeky suralan, or a lordsugar if it's payday

Blue Jam


bgmnts

#68
Her eyes are amazingly wonky, that is the product of proper white inbreeding that. No wonder she is a racist cunt.

Also, is it possible to have never met a black person?

Oh and:

QuoteContestants are get such training before the show is screened.
Quality from the Mirror there.

Blue Jam

Judging by the look of pure hatred on her face, I suspect the photographer may have been black.

touchingcloth

Quote from: imitationleather on October 16, 2019, 10:50:24 AM
This is the first series I've completely avoided. The past five or so years I've vowed to stop watching as it was so unenjoyable, then last year I would often go and sit in the other room while my missus watched it. This time round I've finally totally given up the habit, lads.

Couldn't be happier. Loving life. Clean and serene.

A shame because I would quite like to see that one with the stupid name in action.

Which stupid name? There's a Ryan-Mark and a Riyonn in the lineup, and that's just two of the Ryan homophones.

QDRPHNC

On the one hand, she is only 19. On the other, she's a cunt.

touchingcloth

Quote from: QDRPHNC on October 16, 2019, 07:57:41 PM
On the one hand, she is only 19. On the other, she's a cunt.

I think by age 19 someone's trajectory to Arsehole or Not Arsehole is largely complete. I don't think anything of note shaped the attitudes of Trump, Hopkins or Morgan after that age. Arrive at university, pick a lane based on your nascent level of cuntiness and bloom from there.

Blue Jam

Lottie wants to name the team "Polaris". Not after the Pole Star, after the weapon of mass destruction. I'm just surprised she didn't suggest "Belgrano".

Jasha

Ryan 2 names invoking Richard III

Blue Jam

Tommy The Turtle is basically a motivational speaker for pre-schoolers.

A unicorn with a big horn and some slime? What target market is that aimed at? Bronies? It comes in a white dog poo house as well.

Malcy

Iasha has the same voice as Sunita from Corrie. Everytime she speaks i hear it.


touchingcloth

Team Enola Gay.

They've made a Tommy the Turtle Pedo.

Chap in his turtle helmet looks like Gregory Porter.

Lol at the red face one saying in a pitch that "obviously, the slime market is booming."

The candidates are now whatching professionals talk to a focus group of kids through a one way window, presumably because they're not DBS checked. Sad, love to watch Lottie hectoring a child.

Blue Jam

Quote from: touchingcloth on October 16, 2019, 09:33:33 PM
They've made a Tommy the Turtle Pedo.

I was reminded of poor little Chandler and the sex toilet from Better Call Saul.

Blue Jam

I am loving this focus group of eight-year-old. I wish the BBC would make a new series of Young Apprentice featuring them all.

touchingcloth

If someone bought that turtle for my kids, I'd instantly disassemble it in search of hidden cameras after hearing its voice.

Is one of the candidates called Germ-o-lin?

touchingcloth

Quote from: Blue Jam on October 16, 2019, 09:39:02 PM
I am loving this focus group of eight-year-old. I wish the BBC would make a new series of Young Apprentice featuring them all.

Just imagine if they swapped the telephone secretary one with one of the kids, and then they go through to to boardroom instead of Alan, Karen and Claud, it's a load of kids.

Blue Jam

Ka'en Brady is looking more and more like Felicity Montagu by the day.

touchingcloth

It's the rescuing Alan Sugar from a car he's driven barefoot while gobbling Toblerone that does it.

touchingcloth

Please oh please bring Lottie into the boardroom.

Blue Jam

I can't remember where I saw this now, but I saw Lord Suralan described as "an animatronic walnut in a high chair" and I laughed.

Jasha

he's not just a toy he's your friend

Malcy


lgpmachine

Tears of laughter at the way Sugar read out the reward, clearly having no idea what he was saying: "A balloon modelling masterclass from Miss...*squints at notes*...Ballooniverse"

Blue Jam

Lottie is only 19, right? Has she already had some completely unnecessary botox or does her face not move because she is a moulded shell of pure extruded hatred?