Worst Screen Raps

[Cardenio I]

The 90s was surely full of shit original raps on screen and stage, but surely the gong for what the fuuuuuuuck is this-est on screen rap is the intro to John Leguizamo's The Pest

I'm ridicu-licu-lous, like a booger I stick to this
Take a wiff of this
[flatulence]
One stinky vinky, ha ha ha
[flatulence]
Two stinky vinky, ha ha ha

I only discovered this recently and it's become a minor obsession. Does anyone have an example of a worse rap?

[another Mr. Lizard]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dLVgEWrfdSg

[Brundle-Fly]

Close thread.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxXfwodWChg

[bgmnts]

This (cover version):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48LvnKx0-Ec

And this:

https://youtu.be/7Z25aiCwHCA?t=20

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

One of the best on screen raps ever

[Phil_A]

I remember Bulworth being a pretty good film but this scene made me cringe myself inside out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgEcINKV5Xw

[Cardenio I]

I remember Bulworth being a pretty good film but this scene made me cringe myself inside out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgEcINKV5Xw

I'm like Howard Beale and I'm here to say
There's something rotten in the USA

[non capisco]

Heard about this via an episode of Comedy Bang Bang (podcast) and it's everything they said it was.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7H_L5cYkg8

[Noodle Lizard]

An obvious choice, but this from Teen Witch cannot be topped (although you are invited to try):  https://youtu.be/oxxBXpnn2Jw

[lipsink]

This is pretty bad from Police Academy 6: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugBUkEf2fAs

Especially the way a lot of their rapping is completely out of time with the beat.

"WORRRDDD!!!"

[holyzombiejesus]

There was that M. Night Shyamalan horror called The Visit that not only had a rap but also a kid doing it. I think it was supposed to be endearing but it just made it all the more joyful when the little twat got a shitty nappy rubbed in his face.

[Cardenio I]

That reminds me of this scene in the execrable This Must be the Place, where Sean Penn's contrived Robert-Smith-cum-Michael-Jackson sits down to play the titular song with a fat kid in what is clearly meant to be a touching and affecting moment of innocence and humanity. Except this kid, who apparently knows and loves the Arcade Fire cover, has clearly never heard the song in his life and has only ever come into near contact with the notion of melody by rolling a medicine ball down a spiral staircase made of deaf children.

[thecuriousorange]

I haven't clicked on any links but the rapping grandma in The Wedding Singer springs to mind.

[SteveDave]

There was that M. Night Shyamalan horror called The Visit that not only had a rap but also a kid doing it. I think it was supposed to be endearing but it just made it all the more joyful when the little twat got a shitty nappy rubbed in his face.

I turn to the nappy/face scene in times of great hardship.

I BET YOU DO ALMOND YOU DIRTY OLD BOLLOCKS I BET YOU FUCKING DO

[bgmnts]

An obvious choice, but this from Teen Witch cannot be topped (although you are invited to try):  https://youtu.be/oxxBXpnn2Jw

It's too perfect really.

"Look how funky he is."

[popcorn]

Heard about this via an episode of Comedy Bang Bang (podcast) and it's everything they said it was.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7H_L5cYkg8

That's complex in its awfulness.

IIRC the actress Alison Janey did actually do this for real and they decided to write it into the show because it was funny and cute or whatever. I could imagine that being a real behind-the-scenes sort of funny thing IRL but when you put it in the show it becomes utterly bizarre. The men all watch hypnotised, like it's a strip show.

[rasta-spouse]

What ep of CBB is it where they discuss CJ doing The Jackal? I need to hear that.

Concur on its cringe level, and the fact that they're all acting like it's the coolest thing ever makes it even worse.

I can see Sorkin thinking it's amazing and down with the kids though.

Also Tilda Swinton rapping in Gilliam's Zero Theorem.

[Gulftastic]

3 Men & A Little Lady:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtlsPA5Kvs0

[another Mr. Lizard]

There was that M. Night Shyamalan horror called The Visit that not only had a rap but also a kid doing it. I think it was supposed to be endearing but it just made it all the more joyful when the little twat got a shitty nappy rubbed in his face.

another Mr. Lizard must learn to identify/caption his posted links in future...

[non capisco]

What ep of CBB is it where they discuss CJ doing The Jackal? I need to hear that.

I think it's this one
https://www.earwolf.com/episode/spank-me-with-a-feather/

[Cuellar]

I'd like to think that in this day and age this sort of thing would never happen. I mean, what goes on in the meeting?

"Yeah, this is good. So what goes next, the rap?"
"Yes certainly the rap, the rap happens now"
"Excellent"

[Phil_A]

Hanks & Aykroyd on the tie-in single for Dragnet. Really, really, really quite something.

READ THEM THEIR RIGHTS? READ THEM THEIR RIGHTS?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gdBoo1anxY

[H-O-W-L]

Hanks & Aykroyd on the tie-in single for Dragnet. Really, really, really quite something.

READ THEM THEIR RIGHTS? READ THEM THEIR RIGHTS?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gdBoo1anxY

Crimes against humanity aside, Dragnet '87 is a cracking film.

[thecuriousorange]

White people "rapping" ironically while gesticulating is a bit offensive if you think about it.

[Shaky]

Crimes against humanity aside, Dragnet '87 is a cracking film.

"Oh, thank God! Vibrator repair," is a line that pops into my head on a very frequent basis. Just the mere idea of people being employed and  on call to fix vibrators makes me laugh every time.

[Cuellar]

Hanks & Aykroyd on the tie-in single for Dragnet. Really, really, really quite something.

READ THEM THEIR RIGHTS? READ THEM THEIR RIGHTS?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gdBoo1anxY

"It's a new sensation
We go down to the station
To answer some questions
And have some refreshments"

Ooooofffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

[H-O-W-L]

"Oh, thank God! Vibrator repair," is a line that pops into my head on a very frequent basis. Just the mere idea of people being employed and  on call to fix vibrators makes me laugh every time.

It's a real old style gag-a-minute affair and I think it's criminal that it gets overlooked. In the era of 24/7 non-stop misery-circus police procedurals I think it's even more gut-bustingly hilarious than it was back then, because in its time it parodied a very specific series in a very specific way, but in a post Dick Wolf/CSI world I think it's got even more punch because that brand of stuff is even more prevalent.

Plus, it's aeons before it in setting but I can't help but laugh at how much Cole Phelps in the game L.A. Noire resembles Aykroyd's character, down to his absolutely monumental lack of social grace and understanding of cues and conventions.

[NeutralHeron]

Warwick Davis in "Leprechaun in the hood":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye5gEucx0pE