The stupidest dialogue is movies

[BlodwynPig]

"I'll give you a gun" - The Jackal

I could even be paraphrasing, i'm so enraged, but fucking hell, what a fucking imbecilic moment in a movie steeped in imbecilic moments. Sidney Poitier loses all credibility in that moment.

[nw83]

Paul: Put your fingers up my ass. Are you deaf? Go on. I'm gonna get a pig. And I'm gonna have the pig fuck you. And I want the pig to vomit in your face. Then I want you to swallow the vomit. Are you gonna do that for me?
Jeanne: Yes! Yeah!
Paul: I want the pig to die while you're fucking him. Then you have to go behind it. I want you to smell the dying farts of the pig. Are you gonna do all of that for me?

First thing that came into my head ...

[BlodwynPig]

Paul: Put your fingers up my ass. Are you deaf? Go on. I'm gonna get a pig. And I'm gonna have the pig fuck you. And I want the pig to vomit in your face. Then I want you to swallow the vomit. Are you gonna do that for me?
Jeanne: Yes! Yeah!
Paul: I want the pig to die while you're fucking him. Then you have to go behind it. I want you to smell the dying farts of the pig. Are you gonna do all of that for me?

First thing that came into my head ...

What is that from? Babe 3: Pig in deep shitty?

[nw83]

What is that from? Babe 3: Pig in deep shitty?

It's from Last Tango In Paris.  I was expecting a high-brow arty romantic drama (well, I suppose it still is one, but one where the famously scatologically-minded Brando was allowed to improvise his lines).

[gilbertharding]

Obviously LTiP was a shit film before Maria Schneider confirmed the worst of it.

I mean - did anyone ever watch it for any other reason than prurience? It's only ever mentioned to by jocular reference to the butter/bugger scene.

[jobotic]

Paul: Put your fingers up my ass. Are you deaf? Go on. I'm gonna get a pig. And I'm gonna have the pig fuck you. And I want the pig to vomit in your face. Then I want you to swallow the vomit. Are you gonna do that for me?

Jeanne: Charming!

Paul: I want the pig to die while you're fucking him. Then you have to go behind it. I want you to smell the dying farts of the pig. Are you gonna do all of that for me?

Jeanne: yeah, tell you what, I'm off.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

What the fuck was wrong with Marlon Brando? He was utterly obsessed with bodily fluids and excretions. Just read any interview with the fat, disgusting pervert, he was monomaniacally puerile. To paraphrase Neil Kulkarni, you would never eat a sandwich prepared by that man.

[BlodwynPig]

What the fuck was wrong with Marlon Brando? He was utterly obsessed with bodily fluids and excretions. Just read any interview with the fat, disgusting pervert, he was monomaniacally puerile. To paraphrase Neil Kulkarni, you would never eat a sandwich prepared by that man.

Is this from Twin Peaks: The Return, not film, friend

[Chriddof]

I love the idea of Lynch being a regular Chart Music listener.

[Mobius]

That's not real dialogue is it? I'm at work so not googling any part of that...

Please provide more information on Brando being a dirty bugger because it's very amusing

[nw83]

That's not real dialogue is it? I'm at work so not googling any part of that...

Please provide more information on Brando being a dirty bugger because it's very amusing

There's also this bit:

Jeanne: I'm a Red Riding Hood and you're the wolf. What strong arms you have!
Paul: The better to squeeze a fart out of you!
Jeanne: What long nails you have!
Paul: The better to scratch your ass with.
Jeanne:  Oh, what a lot of fur you have!
Paul: The better to let your crabs hide in.
Jeanne: Ooh, what a long tongue you have!
Paul: The better to... to stick in your rear, my dear.

Despite the dialogue, and the terrible film-within-a-film subplot, and the butter scene, I still think it's worth watching because the cinematography is gorgeous (same guy who did Apocalypse Now and The Last Emperor), Brando is brilliant in a scene talking to his dead wife, and it captures a certain side of Paris - the dark old apartments, full of strange characters, and clanking railway bridges - that very much appeals to me.

According to an old pal's biography of him, one of Brando's favourite practical jokes was to deliberately guff off in a lift, then blame someone else for it.  Apparently the funniest time was when he did it and humiliated a Japanese woman.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Jesus, just imagine the wretched stench of Marlon Brando's atomic farts.

In the man's defence, it's worth noting that Maria Schneider has always blamed Bertolucci, not Brando, for putting her through that traumatic Tango experience. She and old guffing chops remained friendly up until his death.

[Cuellar]

All men of genius are scatologically minded. Mozart, Joyce...there are probably others.

[BlodwynPig]

All men of genius are scatologically minded. Mozart, Joyce...there are probably others.

George the Chimpanzee
Eduoard the Chimpanzee
Great Henry the Chimpanzee

I could go on

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

All men of genius are scatologically minded. Mozart, Joyce...there are probably others.

Fair play, he's a solid drummer, but 'genius' is going it a bit strong.

[Dex Sawash]

soylent green in people

[famethrowa]

Fair play, he's a solid drummer, but 'genius' is going it a bit strong.

superb