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Am I missing something?

Started by Butchers Blind, October 25, 2019, 01:37:34 PM

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Butchers Blind

So, at work there's this girl who I've been getting along with - jokes, flirty glances, easy conversation, etc.  Then last week she voluntarily gives me her phone number on a post-it note with an x underneath.  We exchange a few messages outside of work - everything is good so far.  Yesterday I decided to ask her to go for a drink after work, she looks at me with a puzzled look, laughs and says, very definitely, no.  She's been avoiding me since.

I'm no expert on the fairer sex but that's just odd, right?

BlodwynPig

Was your cock hanging outside your fly when you asked her?

Kryton

Quote from: Butchers Blind on October 25, 2019, 01:37:34 PM
So, at work there's this girl who I've been getting along with - jokes, flirty glances, easy conversation, etc.  Then last week she voluntarily gives me her phone number on a post-it note with an x underneath.  We exchange a few messages outside of work - everything is good so far.  Yesterday I decided to ask her to go for a drink after work, she looks at me with a puzzled look, laughs and says, very definitely, no.  She's been avoiding me since.

I'm no expert on the fairer sex but that's just odd, right?

Pass her the note back then and bluntly say 'I think you may have given this to the wrong person'.

bgmnts

Hard to get. She wants a large showy gesture.

Try serenading her in front of the office, show her you're a man.

NJ Uncut

Quote from: Butchers Blind on October 25, 2019, 01:37:34 PM
So, at work there's this girl who I've been getting along with - jokes, flirty glances, easy conversation, etc.  Then last week she voluntarily gives me her phone number on a post-it note with an x underneath.  We exchange a few messages outside of work - everything is good so far.  Yesterday I decided to ask her to go for a drink after work, she looks at me with a puzzled look, laughs and says, very definitely, no.  She's been avoiding me since.

I'm no expert on the fairer sex but that's just odd, right?

Sounds like you're just friends but she could have made it more explicit. Things like Flirty Glances are totally eye of beholder stuff, but phone number giving with a kiss is pretty "not friend zone". However, people have different ideas and boundaries, there's nothing else to suggest she knowingly led you on, and my opinion is your question came off as too.. Targeted. Like a date. Its better she said no if she isn't interested!

Or she might have started out flirty but other reasons (new fella she's dating, whatever) have changed her mind.

If you want her as a friend give her space and respect her decision. I'd say hello like nothing is wrong after some time has passed.. You work with her. There's not necessarily a huge mystery to unravel.

You can't judge a situation you don't know 100% about so don't bother taking it personally either.

Butchers Blind

Quote from: Kryton on October 25, 2019, 01:42:26 PM
Pass her the note back then and bluntly say 'I think you may have given this to the wrong person'.

Not a bad idea.

Just very puzzled by her behaviour.  I should ask her flat out "what the fuck?" but as I said she's avoiding me in a very deliberate manner.

Butchers Blind

Quote from: NJ Uncut on October 25, 2019, 01:47:07 PM
Sounds like you're just friends but she could have made it more explicit. Things like Flirty Glances are totally eye of beholder stuff, but phone number giving with a kiss is pretty "not friend zone".

Or she might have started out flirty but other reasons (new fella she's dating, whatever) have changed her mind.

If you want her as a friend give her space and respect her decision. I'd say hello like nothing is wrong after some time has passed.. You work with her. There's not necessarily a huge mystery to unravel.

You can't judge a situation you don't know 100% about so don't bother taking it personally either

Yeah, thats the mature response.  Thank you.

Icehaven

Could be you just took her unawares and she panicked a bit but yeah it's still odd. It's a bit playgroundish too, although I'd hesitate to judge too much as it could just be general social awkwardness as much as immaturity. If she approached you now and said she just wasn't expecting you to ask her out right there and then, maybe even apologised for the mixed signals and said she'd actually like to go for a drink, what would you do?

Edit now I've read that she's very deliberately avoiding you; No idea, sorry. Some people do put kisses at the end of everything they write though, she may not even have clocked that it might be construed as flirty.

Dex Sawash

They won/lost the bet when you asked.


EDIT <cue Bittersweet Symphony >

madhair60

Send her an email reading exactly as follows:

Dear Bitch

I thought we were cool! What the fuck?!

Yours,

Butcher Blind

Cuellar

Cease all communications before you get #cancelled

chveik


madhair60

Okay I've got it. Get a small knife and cut a hole in the wall. Get your dick out and place it into the hole in the wall, turn to this absolute snake of a woman and say "I don't need you, I'm fucking the wall", then start rocking back and forth, saying "See? I'm fucking the wall"


BlodwynPig

Quote from: Cuellar on October 25, 2019, 02:02:10 PM
Cease all communications before you get #cancelled

Nah, keep pushing.

1. Leave flowers on her desk, signed 'your secret admirer'
2. Write some poetry about love and her loins, send via work e-mail
3. In a work meeting, interject during Brian's powerpoint with a big heartfelt 'you are looking gorgeous today ...ladies name'
4. Mention that, as the nights are drawing in, you think its wise to escort her to the car/bus/tram/train. The next time, say you'll accompany her to her doorstep, just to be safe
5. Turn up naked at work and start wanking on her desk before she arrives. When the cleaner calls security, make a big show and demand CCTV of the incident. Send the CCTV footage to her e-mail in between court appearances/looking for a new job

Quote

Just shrug your shoulders and go 'whatever'.

Let her stew on that.

Neville Chamberlain

"I'm sorry I asked you out for a drink the other day - that was possibly a bit too forward of me. Would you like to come back to mine to browse CaB instead?"

Straight away you've got her by the jaffers.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Quote on October 25, 2019, 02:08:10 PM
Just shrug your shoulders and go 'whatever'.

Let her stew on that.

You know where that leads...

work pub gathering, the clinking of glasses, the warble of laughter, you...alone...in the dark corner, glowering as Brian slips his arm around her waist and she doesn't bat it away

Cardenio I

Give me a pillowcase full of oranges and five minutes in a locked room with her. I'll have her singing like a canary.

Icehaven

Do you know if she's actually single? I'm not trying to move in on your territory by the way, just that maybe she isn't and saw it as a bit of harmless office flirting but now realises you saw it differently.

Quote

Quote from: BlodwynPig on October 25, 2019, 02:10:05 PM
You know where that leads...

work pub gathering, the clinking of glasses, the warble of laughter, you...alone...in the dark corner, glowering as Brian slips his arm around her waist and she doesn't bat it away

That's Brian all over. Bastard.

If intriguing indifference doesn't snag her, go to plan b and make sure the whole office knows you've got women on tap, and don't need this trollop's affections anyway. Bring an inflatable woman into work and start snogging & groping her/it loudly. Drive her wild with jealousy.

Neville Chamberlain

Start wearing sunshades, Hawaiian shirts, loose cream slacks, that kind of thing. Talk loudly to others about your luxury beachside hideaway on Tahiti.

Just so she knows what she's missing.

Butchers Blind

Quote from: Neville Chamberlain on October 25, 2019, 02:10:03 PM
"I'm sorry I asked you out for a drink the other day - that was possibly a bit too forward of me. Would you like to come back to mine to browse CaB instead?"



Straight away you've got her by the jaffers.

Tried that before. The girl left.

Captain Z

It's quite a baffling volte-face, but last time I was single I became quite accustomed to this behaviour. I won't say "that's women for you" because there are equally many who behave more predictably and I'm sure the same goes for men, but the best thing you can do is try to forget it and quietly carry on.

rasta-spouse

I think you read into the number too much. And then asking to go for a drink just the two of you was an overstep. Just based on the info given.

What you should do is go up to her desk with a loud stereo held above your head. Like John Cusak in that movie. But instead of a cool song playing it's the Justin Lee Collins nutty tape that his girlfriend recorded covertly.

Butchers Blind

Maybe it's just in my ever advancing years I still haven't understood women.

Quote

Carve '4 real' into your arm with a broken bottle, Richey Manic-style. Show her how much this means.


Twed

The obvious answer is that woman simply despise even the potential of your penis. Throw in the towel and become a The Joker.

Chollis

Go back tomorrow and try again but wear a fucking toupee this time