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Am I missing something?

Started by Butchers Blind, October 25, 2019, 01:37:34 PM

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Jerzy Bondov

Maybe her mates were there because they all wanted to take turns on your nob. Get back out there.

Butchers Blind

Quote from: GMTV on November 01, 2019, 11:30:52 AM
Fuck sake man. She's playing some crazy games with you.

Not even sure its that.  Just think its her personality

purlieu

Yeah, it's a lot to suggest that she's actually intentionally fucking with you, but she's obviously not really sure what she wants and that can be a headfuck, so best leave alone. Maybe in a few months she'll have her head cleared and will try again with more effort. But probably just worth considering it's over.

GMTV

Quote from: Butchers Blind on November 01, 2019, 11:35:16 AM
Not even sure its that.  Just think its her personality

Aye, sorry I wasn't meaning she's specifically targeted you to make your life a misery. Must be the way she is. She probably does like you, its just what that would actually mean in reality and whether you want that as part of your life.

Twed

I'm with gib about it being unfair to decide she's a cruel mindfucker, but she does sound exhausting so it might be worth figuring out if you have the energy

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Dear Deidre on November 01, 2019, 11:37:16 AM
Yeah, it's a lot to suggest that she's actually intentionally fucking with you, but she's obviously not really sure what she wants and that can be a headfuck, so best leave alone. Maybe in a few months she'll have her head cleared and will try again with more effort. But probably just worth considering it's over.


Butchers Blind

Quote from: GMTV on November 01, 2019, 11:39:41 AM
Aye, sorry I wasn't meaning she's specifically targeted you to make your life a misery. Must be the way she is. She probably does like you, its just what that would actually mean in reality and whether you want that as part of your life.

Yeah, I guess you can go off people.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: Captain Z on November 01, 2019, 11:21:13 AM
But yeah, this is edging into stone-cold sociopath behaviour.

No it's not. She sounds keen to me.

gib

Quote from: Twed on November 01, 2019, 11:41:20 AM
I'm with gib about it being unfair to decide she's a cruel mindfucker, but she does sound exhausting so it might be worth figuring out if you have the energy

It's still possible that she is just really shy about boys but it's getting increasingly difficult to give her the benefit of the doubt.

madhair60

How much of this actually happened btw?

Jerzy Bondov

Here's where alarm bells started ringing for me:
QuoteSo, at work there's this girl who I've been getting along with

Shaky

There's a girl at work I've got the horn for so I'm clinging to this thread with baited breath, to be honest.

Butchers Blind

Quote from: Shaky on November 01, 2019, 12:06:54 PM
There's a girl at work I've got the horn for so I'm clinging to this thread with baited breath, to be honest.

From recent experience, don't go there.

Neville Chamberlain

These sound just like the awkward initial encounters of what will turn out to be a long and happy marriage.

Rich Uncle Skeleton

Quote from: Butchers Blind on November 01, 2019, 12:07:39 PM
From recent experience, don't go there.

Do not follow this advice under any circumstances
Psych yourself up at lunch, march back in there and get pounding. Alone if necessary to show her you mean business.

Icehaven

She brought you along for her girlfriends to vet you. If she suggests going out again you passed muster, however I wouldn't bother because seriously who fucking does that?

Twed

Quote from: icehaven on November 01, 2019, 12:20:30 PMIf she suggests going out again you passed muster
Fucking lazy Dorises, get your own condiments

Bennett Brauer

Quote from: Rich Uncle Skeleton on November 01, 2019, 12:12:01 PM
Psych yourself up at lunch, march back in there and get pounding. Alone if necessary to show her you mean business.

"Suck her tits!" 

Ferris

Quote from: icehaven on November 01, 2019, 12:20:30 PM
She brought you along for her girlfriends to vet you. If she suggests going out again you passed muster, however I wouldn't bother because seriously who fucking does that?

Or she already had drinks planned with friends, but felt bad and wanted to bring you along "for a drink". Not bad enough to cancel her existing plans though.

Again, if she asks again you're quids in, but as icehaven points out - who does that?

Ham Bap

Quote from: Shaky on November 01, 2019, 12:06:54 PM
There's a girl at work I've got the horn for so I'm clinging to this thread with baited breath, to be honest.

Dress as a giant shoe and launch yourself through her living room window.

Noonling

Quote from: madhair60 on November 01, 2019, 11:55:16 AM
How much of this actually happened btw?

If I was gonna start a fake thread it would be about too many women throwing yhemselves at me and I simply can't choose between them.

Icehaven

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on November 01, 2019, 12:27:08 PM
Or she already had drinks planned with friends, but felt bad and wanted to bring you along "for a drink". Not bad enough to cancel her existing plans though.



Hmmm, fair doos if she told him beforehand that they were going to be meeting up with other people, but if it was an ambush and he had no idea they'd be there until they literally walked in (giving him no chance to duck out) then I'd be a bit suspicious.

Edit; the way it's worded,

Quote from: Butchers Blind on November 01, 2019, 11:02:22 AM
We left work at 6 and went to a bar of her choice and when we get there she's has a group of her girlfriends waiting for her. 

suggests he wasn't prewarned, which is a shitty thing to do.

oy vey

Quote from: madhair60 on November 01, 2019, 11:55:16 AM
How much of this actually happened btw?

You thinking Fight Club / Dexter S6 style twist? Jesus we're into fanboy theorising...

Butchers Blind

Quote from: icehaven on November 01, 2019, 12:33:52 PM
suggests he wasn't prewarned, which is a shitty thing to do.

No, she didn't mention beforehand that her friends would be there.  Trying hard to find the reason behind this, I could ask I suppose but Im a bit past caring now.

oy vey

Quote from: Butchers Blind on November 01, 2019, 12:43:02 PM
No, she didn't mention beforehand that her friends would be there.  Trying hard to find the reason behind this, I could ask I suppose but Im a bit past caring now.

You haven't said anything about the other girls. It's possible she was hooking/opening you up for grabs with one (or more) of them. This happened to me years ago. Having fun with 2 chicks, connecting with 1 in particular. Later met the 2 of them again, then girl 1 fucks off without warning. It was like - oh I guess I'm hooking up with you then. They definitely had a conversation in the background and girl no 2 drew the short straw hehe.

Icehaven

Quote from: Butchers Blind on November 01, 2019, 12:43:02 PM
No, she didn't mention beforehand that her friends would be there.  Trying hard to find the reason behind this, I could ask I suppose but Im a bit past caring now.

That's really off, she'd have known you'd have assumed it was a kind of date scenario and wouldn't have been expecting her friends to be there. Again I'm speculating wildly about the motives of some stranger but is it even possible you were taken along as a bit of a boast to the girls, ''Look, someone's interested in me.''? I'd take the ego boost that she obviously thinks your attention is worth boasting about to her friends (no one's going to take the office Colin to the pub to show everyone they've still got it), and leave it at that.

oy vey

^
More likely the ego thing. I'd still be checking out the others assuming they aren't fruitcakes.

Ambient Sheep

#567
Quote from: Butchers Blind on November 01, 2019, 11:02:22 AMUnfortunately no rubbing of naked bodies took place.  We left work at 6 and went to a bar of her choice and when we get there she's has a group of her girlfriends waiting for her...
::
::
...She came over to me this morning to apologise but said I its best we just leave where it is and I can't see its worth the effort.

I'm genuinely sorry, if not very surprised, to read this.

Scrap that, I guess I was surprised because amidst the various scenarios possible, I never saw that one coming.* 

One question: that last bit "and I can't see its worth the effort", I'm assuming that you didn't say that to her, only to us, right?

And yeah, I can see the ego / showing-off thing being one possibility amongst several.


Quote from: gib on November 01, 2019, 11:52:31 AMIt's still possible that she is just really shy about boys but it's getting increasingly difficult to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Especially as she's late twenties not late teens and has been in relationships before.


* - Perhaps I should have done though because -- mad as this sounds -- I've only just remembered that something like this happened to me too in my early 20s.  Had almost completely forgotten about it until now, weird how memory works.

A girl who used to hang out near my workplace asked me out on a date almost out of the blue.  I turned up to find her there with her bestie, and the pair of them proceeded to rip the piss out of me until I left, although I gave as good as I got in the meantime.

Next time I saw her she too apologised but, like you, I just said "never mind" and left it... the first time in my life I'd ever managed to do that.  Not long afterwards she went off with a Morrissey-clone (the resemblance was startling and he clearly played up to it) and they seemed very happy together, so good for them. :-)

phes

I was quick to judge and snarkier than I had any right or enough insight to be. But the whole number on a little bit of paper and 'we'll chat later' and 'ill think about it'. Well one thing it really smacks of is being utterly fucking socially infantile. Good for you for bailing that school-disco clusterfuck to meet up with some grown ups

AllisonSays

Maybe you were being groomed for entry into a ... polycule ...