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Am I missing something?

Started by Butchers Blind, October 25, 2019, 01:37:34 PM

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purlieu

To be fair, I went on a date once and it turned out she'd brought a mate along too and tried to play down the date aspect (meeting up for a drink after kissing on a night out and texting each other for a few days), I bailed in the end but getting to know her better as a friend down the line I learned she had a lot of trust issues after a couple of abusive relationships and invited the friend along at the last minute. There's no way that would have been the right relationship for me at the time so she had a lucky escape, but again, there are definitely reasons for weird / flakey behaviour beyond 'she's childish'.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

I went on a date once , and the young lady I had the date with bought three of her girlfriends along. So I fucked them all.

lankyguy95

I think I went on a date once.

Actually I just remembered I didn't.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

I went on a date once.

Green, it was.

Famous Mortimer

Quote from: Butchers Blind on November 01, 2019, 12:43:02 PM
No, she didn't mention beforehand that her friends would be there.  Trying hard to find the reason behind this, I could ask I suppose but Im a bit past caring now.
Stop asking. Stop non-work interactions with her, honestly. Just be a normal human, contact Noonling for some nice lines to use in a relaxed group situation, and see what develops. I'm fairly sure no great relationship has ever started the way you've described the last week or so.

mr. logic

Quote from: purlieu on November 01, 2019, 05:36:54 PM
To be fair, I went on a date once and it turned out she'd brought a mate along too and tried to play down the date aspect (meeting up for a drink after kissing on a night out and texting each other for a few days), I bailed in the end but getting to know her better as a friend down the line I learned she had a lot of trust issues after a couple of abusive relationships and invited the friend along at the last minute. There's no way that would have been the right relationship for me at the time so she had a lucky escape, but again, there are definitely reasons for weird / flakey behaviour beyond 'she's childish'.

Maybe, but it's not his job to get to the bottom of it.

rasta-spouse

Quote from: Butchers Blind on November 01, 2019, 12:43:02 PM
No, she didn't mention beforehand that her friends would be there.  Trying hard to find the reason behind this, I could ask I suppose but Im a bit past caring now.

The reason is she might not feel entirely comfortable being one on one with you. Don't feel down about it though, it's a positive sign that she wanted you to meet her friends. But, most likely, their presence was required as an awks-buffer. As long as you didn't get weird again and ask "whyyyyyy?" questions into the void you should come out of it looking like normal self-aware metro dude.

I don't think she's a game-player (from the info given). It sounds like pretty normal behaviour from someone who is being "hit on" and is not sure about it.

Try playing the long game with this girl without going in and making any major moves, and not reading into every sign (i.e. the # with X, drinks after work) as an invitation to sex. It might pay off, and even if it doesn't you've made a nice friend who'll lend you a spiralizer on the days you have more courgettes than sense.

Bently Sheds

Quote from: Butchers Blind on November 01, 2019, 11:02:22 AMwhen we get there she's has a group of her girlfriends waiting for her.  She spends the next hour or so talking with them almost as if I'm not there even though I'm trying to engage with her.  Decide can't be bothered with this so get up to leave, she asks me to stay but tell her I'll see her tomorrow at work.
Fucking hell, she's a mentaller!!! Imagine living with that unpredictable behaviour all day every day:
"Shall I drive us to the shops, Butchers?"
"Yes, girl from work, let us go"
- Picks up her friends and drives car into the sea: "Oh, whoops. Sorry, Butchers"

"Butchers, fancy a cuppa?"
"I'm well parched, girl from the office"
- Cooks a leg of lamb and feeds it to a passing tramp: "Oh Butchers, what am I like?"



NJ Uncut


purlieu

Quote from: mr. logic on November 01, 2019, 06:05:45 PM
Maybe, but it's not his job to get to the bottom of it.
Good job nobody's suggesting it is.


I agree that this recent development may not have been some kind of malicious intention to fuck with your head; she just sounds totally confused and taking very misguided actions.

I went on a first date once which involved her picking me up and then driving to a gathering of her mates at one of their flats; about 6 or 7 people not long out of university doing film and TV stuff  who'd all recently worked together on a Crimewatch Special..the episode was airing that evening so I essentially went to the premiere of a Crimewatch episode. They were insufferable people, think I started nodding off while the episode aired. I remember thered be like an ominous shot of a desolate empty stairwell and one guy would pipe up excitedly with "I was the focus puller on this scene" and they'd all cheer and high five in congratulations.

oy vey

^
And please whatever you do don't have nightmares.

Too fucking late for that Nick.

Ambient Sheep

Quote from: Misspent Boners on November 01, 2019, 08:52:35 PMI agree that this recent development may not have been some kind of malicious intention to fuck with your head; she just sounds totally confused and taking very misguided actions.

Yup.

Without actually having video footage of the various interactions, it's impossible to be sure which of rasta-spouse's or Bently Sheds's scenarios is most likely to be true... but one of them probably is. :-)

kittens

if i got a job as focus puller on crimewatch too fucking right i'm having all my friends over to watch it air, and they all had better be cheering me on

Sebastian Cobb

Just think, a gig like that and in a few years you could be in charge of zooming in after the 2nd treble 20.

Ferris

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on November 01, 2019, 09:24:01 PM
Just think, a gig like that and in a few years you could be in charge of zooming in after the 2nd treble 20.

Not like now, of course. Days are gone.

Quote from: kittens on November 01, 2019, 09:20:57 PM
if i got a job as focus puller on crimewatch too fucking right i'm having all my friends over to watch it air, and they all had better be cheering me on

Ha dont know if you're being daft or not, but I'd agree that fundamentally theres nothing wrong with being proud of something youd worked on and getting a buzz out of seeing it air on tv, even if  it is something as mundane as Crimewatch. Think it was just a bizarre setting for a first date with a girl I barely knew and they were all a bit to self congratulatory and kind of arrogant toffs. Just remembered I went to the bog and the guy who's party it was had this decorative bowl in his bathroom full of toiletries and had place an XL Condom at the forefront in a very obvious place presumably so the lady guests would see it

imitationleather

Quote from: Misspent Boners on November 02, 2019, 07:27:18 AM
something as mundane as Crimewatch

Ooooooh... You absolute cunt. I have watched (almost) every episode of Crimewatch from 1984-1997 in order over the past year.

I am glad that love's warm embrace eluded you.

Quote from: imitationleather on November 02, 2019, 09:01:29 AM
Ooooooh... You absolute cunt. I have watched (almost) every episode of Crimewatch from 1984-1997 in order over the past year.

I am glad that love's warm embrace eluded you.

As a persistent Crimestoppers advocate I make no apologies. I bet you thought Oasis were better than Blur too you bourgeois sack of shit.

Lost Oliver

Isn't it common knowledge now that it was in fact Gay Dad who were the best Britpop band of the 90s?

Quote from: Lost Oliver on November 02, 2019, 11:00:19 AM
Isn't it common knowledge now that it was in fact Gay Dad who were the best Britpop band of the 90s?

No you have it a bit confused; it was your Dad who was Gay FOR the best Britpop bands of the 90s

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: shiftwork2 on October 27, 2019, 09:54:06 AM
^ that may be what he actually sent her, in which case this thread is heading for 20 pages.

bravo.

Quote from: QDRPHNC on October 28, 2019, 12:49:28 PM
I'm exhausted just reading this thread. Up and down like a yo-yo. Walk away, man.

Quote from: iamcoop on October 28, 2019, 07:44:02 PM
To be completely honest she sounds like she might be a bit of a twat. Responding to your apology with "oh don't worry I get drunk messages sent to me all the time" should be alarm bells but if you still want to persist, even after she's not been straight with you again then I'm afraid you've parked your car in Clown Town and it looks like somebodies about to get clamped.

Quote from: phes on October 30, 2019, 10:39:02 AM
Very entertaining thread. You seem hell bent on ruining your life by grasping for the attentions of a flakey sociopath. It's like vaporwave itchy and scratchy


8.5/10


Quote from: NJ Uncut on November 01, 2019, 08:01:57 PM
Tell her to fuck right off

so.... how's it going?

The Bumlord

Has he bummed her yet or what?

Butchers Blind

We've been friendly enough round the workplace, she did ask me last week what I was doing at the weekend and I just replied that I was going for drinks with friends and left it at that. Came to the conclusion (as many did on here) that if it was that much hassle trying to get her to go for simple after work drink, an actual attempt at a relationship would be hard work.

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: Utterdrivel on November 06, 2019, 01:35:07 PM
Has he bummed her yet or what?

doesn't look like he's ever going to. mind- there's christ-mas parties coming up, so there's hope yet.

Chollis

sad

but get ready for this to be back on the front page immediately during/after Xmas party time!

Icehaven

Ooooh you gits I thought there was some update.