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Am I missing something?

Started by Butchers Blind, October 25, 2019, 01:37:34 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
Absolutely preposterous thread so far. OP's characterization of events is certainly incomplete.

What specifically did she say that you construed as a rejection, and what did you say in asking her? An invitation to a coworker to go for drinks is equally platonic-romantic ambiguous as a Post-It'ed phone number.

The enigma is whether you are mischaracterizing things to suggest she was interested in you when she wasn't (flirty glances?), or whether you are mischaracterizing her as having scorned you when she did not and you simply have what is known in the DSM VI as "CaB Self-worth"

mr. logic

I would guess she was giving you the number for work related reasons, and was a bit shocked that you missed this, hence the reaction that to you seemed rude. Was she not just taken aback?

If she were playing games of whatever, I don't think it would have just ended when she turned down the drink. Wouldn't she have been more likely to give some flimsy excuse but continue to enjoy the attention?

I actually think that her coldness, while feeling harsh, could be interpreted as somewhat of a kindness. Like she knows she gave you the drastically wrong impression and is now trying to put a stop to it. Fair play to her really, it must get boring being an attractive woman when your every move is analysed for its sexual intent.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: mr. logic on October 26, 2019, 06:47:35 AM
it must get boring being an attractive woman when your every move is analysed for its sexual intent.

Tell me about it! My burden, *sigh*

kalowski


"Are you getting off here or are you going all the way with me"

Dr Rock

Quote from: Pearly-Dewdrops Drops on October 26, 2019, 03:05:27 AM
Absolutely preposterous thread so far. OP's characterization of events is certainly incomplete.

What specifically did she say that you construed as a rejection, and what did you say in asking her? An invitation to a coworker to go for drinks is equally platonic-romantic ambiguous as a Post-It'ed phone number.

The enigma is whether you are mischaracterizing things to suggest she was interested in you when she wasn't (flirty glances?), or whether you are mischaracterizing her as having scorned you when she did not and you simply have what is known in the DSM VI as "CaB Self-worth"

The OP has not answered many questions that might help get to the bottom of this groovy mystery. They seem happy to conclude 'I'll never understand women.'

GMTV

She might have wanted a bit of work flirting for a period of time, then maybe a dance (winching) at the next works night out. Rather than a James bond suave effort, milk trays thrown at her window in the middle of the night etc.

flotemysost

Writing a number on a Post-It seems overtly deliberate and/or a bit old-fashioned to me - as far as I can remember since the advent of smartphones people normally just say 'This is my number, drop-call me/Whatsapp me so I've got yours' - but maybe I'm reading too much into that.

This is definitely confusing behaviour, but without knowing what sort of person she is it's hard to make a judgement. Some people are just very naturally confident and ebullient around everyone and have a seemingly effortless knack for connecting with people and getting everyone to like them, often within a short space of time; it's a similar process to flirting but not necessarily with the end intention of actually getting off with that person.

Does she seem like a naturally bubbly, extroverted type around everyone? Or did it seem more like a specific connection shared by the two of you?

Thursday

Could she have forgotten to put more context on the post-it note like "Juliet in accounts needs you to ring her back" or something?

The x could have been a joke like "oooh I bet she fancies you"

NJ Uncut

Quote from: Dr Rock on October 26, 2019, 08:28:12 AM
The OP has not answered many questions that might help get to the bottom of this groovy mystery. They seem happy to conclude 'I'll never understand women.'

I applaud his foresight in reaching this conclusion already, but not his mettle in acting like it's fated

Thursday

Can you really not find any situation to have a quick word though, and just be apologetic and say "sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I just really got the wrong impression from the note" though? 

oy vey

X= I am your friend / shoulder to cry on
XX= Wine and dine for some tit
XXX= Anal on first date

mr. logic

Quote from: Thursday on October 26, 2019, 09:24:20 AM
Can you really not find any situation to have a quick word though, and just be apologetic and say "sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I just really got the wrong impression from the note" though?

Nah, just move on. Nothing to apologise for.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: mr. logic on October 26, 2019, 06:47:35 AM
I would guess she was giving you the number for work related reasons, and was a bit shocked that you missed this, hence the reaction that to you seemed rude. Was she not just taken aback?


Fair enough and that, but why would someone do this out of the blue? I am a loafer and like as much delineation between home and work, tbh.

Butchers Blind

Quote from: Dr Rock on October 26, 2019, 08:28:12 AM
The OP has not answered many questions that might help get to the bottom of this groovy mystery. They seem happy to conclude 'I'll never understand women.'

I asked her "Would you like to go for a drink after work?" and as I originally posted she had this puzzled look on her face then did this little laugh, said a straight no and walked off and has avoided me since.  Have thought about texting her and asking why.

Thursday

Quote from: mr. logic on October 26, 2019, 09:30:55 AM
Nah, just move on. Nothing to apologise for.

Be more entertaining for the thread if he did though.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Thursday on October 26, 2019, 09:20:14 AM
Could she have forgotten to put more context on the post-it note like "Juliet in accounts needs you to ring her back" or something?

The x could have been a joke like "oooh I bet she fancies you"

I was wondering that, or if the number was for The Samaritans.

Dr Rock

Didn't the texting come from that phone number? Maybe he was texting someone else.

Johnny Yesno

Quote from: Butchers Blind on October 26, 2019, 10:36:41 AM
Have thought about texting her and asking why.

That's the kind of thing I would do and that is why I can assure you it is a terrible idea.

Butchers Blind

Yeah except it was her number.  Not sure why Im getting so hung up about this, its not like we were going out.  Think its just the volte-face of her.

mr. logic

Quote from: Butchers Blind on October 26, 2019, 10:36:41 AM
I asked her "Would you like to go for a drink after work?" and as I originally posted she had this puzzled look on her face then did this little laugh, said a straight no and walked off and has avoided me since.  Have thought about texting her and asking why.

What were the texts before this?

kalowski

Quote from: Butchers Blind on October 26, 2019, 10:53:20 AM
Yeah except it was her number.  Not sure why Im getting so hung up about this, its not like we were going out.  Think its just the volte-face of her.
I think it's because you wanted to cum on her volte-face.

lankyguy95

Quote from: Butchers Blind on October 26, 2019, 10:36:41 AM
Have thought about texting her and asking why.
Yeah don't do that.

Confront her on Monday instead, get down on your knees in front of the office and scream the last two minutes of The Beautiful Ones by Prince. Works about 8% of the time for me.

idunnosomename

go down the gym, get comically buff and return to work with two hot babes hanging off each arm. then say "look at what you could have won: these guns!!"

then shoot her

holyzombiejesus

Did she hand you her number or just leave the post-it on your desk?

Are you friends with anyone in your office? I would tell someone just in case she's weird and starts spreading the word that you're a slimy creep.

gib

Quote from: Thursday on October 26, 2019, 10:39:04 AM
Be more entertaining for the thread if he did though.

Finally, a poster with the right priorities.

Twed

Maybe she's a recovering alcoholic

Small Man Big Horse

Maybe she's an identical twin and she and her sister take turns at going in to work, and you were just unlucky enough to ask out the twin who didn't give you her number.

In fact the more I think about this the more I'm definitely sure that's what happened.

Johnny Yesno

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on October 26, 2019, 03:23:54 PM
Maybe she's an identical twin and she and her sister take turns at going in to work, and you were just unlucky enough to ask out the twin who didn't give you her number.

In fact the more I think about this the more I'm definitely sure that's what happened.

That's it! It's the only plausible explanation. Lock the thread.

Twed

Maybe (and this is an actual genuine reason why we shouldn't write people off when they don't meet our expectations) she is dissociative personality disorder and the personality that gave you the note is not the same one that rejected your advances.

chveik