Author Topic: Am I missing something?  (Read 23846 times)

Chollis

  • Master of Codes
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #30 on: October 25, 2019, 03:01:03 PM »
Go to her house and do this


Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #31 on: October 25, 2019, 03:06:09 PM »

Endicott

  • I've done no research
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #32 on: October 25, 2019, 03:14:26 PM »


Not being able to decipher that note is infuriating.

Noonling

  • You can no longer jump without feet.
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #33 on: October 25, 2019, 03:30:07 PM »
So, at work there's this girl who I've been getting along with - jokes, flirty glances, easy conversation, etc.  Then last week she voluntarily gives me her phone number on a post-it note with an x underneath.  We exchange a few messages outside of work - everything is good so far.  Yesterday I decided to ask her to go for a drink after work, she looks at me with a puzzled look, laughs and says, very definitely, no.  She's been avoiding me since.

I'm no expert on the fairer sex but that's just odd, right?

For serious talk on this: It is weird when written down, but I do think its somewhat explainable (bar the puzzled look). "Flirty glances" is so very subjective and jokes and easy conversation are things you have with a friend. An "x" under her number is weird to me, BUT some people do put Xs in everything compulsively as icehaven said. All together it is possible she didn't mean to flirt with you. BUT you would think after being asked out she would realise "Oh wait, that could be misconstrued..." and at least not be puzzled about it.

Otherwise the reason may be:
1) She has a boyfriend/husband that literally everyone in the office but you is aware of.
2) She either thought you were gay or there is such an age gap that she didn't think it possible it could be misconstrued.
3) Literally everyone in the office but you knows she's gay.
4) You've neglected to mention that you were rubbing yourself while you asked.

Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #34 on: October 25, 2019, 04:21:42 PM »
What actually prompted her to give you her number?  Where you guys chatting about going out at the time?

Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #35 on: October 25, 2019, 04:31:34 PM »
Post her a single cycling cleat.
failing that
Spread rumours you are the Shah of Jamaica
failing that
Send her a second cleat, but demand the first one back
failing that
Strap pork products and a flashing light to your head and mention you are a hambulance. Do not elaborate further.
failing that
send her this poem
"Winter spreads its dusky cloak
Like a monk preparing his habit
I was once exiled to Stoke
For threatening to spit on a rabbit"
failing that
GOTO 10

Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #36 on: October 25, 2019, 04:32:54 PM »
she may not even have clocked that it might be construed as flirty

Well she's an idiot then. Giving the opposite sex a phone number on it's own is in the flirt zone. The x just adds to it. Even if she changed her mind she could have made some excuse like I've got a prior engagement to throw him off the scent. Laughing and saying definite no sounds like arsehole behaviour. She's definitely a gameplayer and best avoided. Or she's nuts and best avoided. Or she's clinically stupid and best avoided.

the midnight watch baboon

  • Gelled, spiky hair fragrant near my teeth
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #37 on: October 25, 2019, 04:38:47 PM »
So, at work there's this girl who I've been getting along with - jokes, flirty glances, easy conversation, etc.  Then last week she voluntarily gives me her phone number on a post-it note with an x underneath.  We exchange a few messages outside of work - everything is good so far.  Yesterday I decided to ask her to go for a drink after work, she looks at me with a puzzled look, laughs and says, very definitely, no.  She's been avoiding me since.

I'm no expert on the fairer sex but that's just odd, right?

Was it made clear that the drink would be with you? Hmm. If not ask again, see if she fancies a cocktail. Her tail, your cock.

Don't do that it's shit.

Butchers Blind

  • Porterage where necessary
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #38 on: October 25, 2019, 05:16:38 PM »
What actually prompted her to give you her number?  Where you guys chatting about going out at the time?

As I said she gave me her number just as she was passing my desk.

Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #39 on: October 25, 2019, 05:19:33 PM »
As I said she gave me her number just as she was passing my desk.

That doesn't really come across as a platonic thing so I totally get why you're confused.  Be careful as she might be a bit mental.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #40 on: October 25, 2019, 05:20:41 PM »
As I said she gave me her number just as she was passing my desk.

I think that was meant for Brian’s in tray

Puce Moment

  • Member
  • **
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #41 on: October 25, 2019, 05:22:30 PM »
A. Go full incel and assume she is trying to get some attention and validation without follow-through.

B. Decide that the post-it was a friendly gesture, and very different to going for a drink with just the two of you.

C. Hand in your notice.

pigamus

  • Sex, death, mayonnaise.
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #42 on: October 25, 2019, 05:27:41 PM »
3) Literally everyone in the office but you knows she's gay.

This one makes sense.

Dr Rock

  • The BEST of luck!
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #43 on: October 25, 2019, 05:30:07 PM »
What happened between getting the phone number and you asking her for a drink? Some texting? Please post all the texts. Thx.

Zetetic

  • Burying isn't the same as killing.
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #44 on: October 25, 2019, 05:33:59 PM »
I often go for drinks with women from work who have no interest in having sex with me, so it might be even worse than you thought.

Very rarely with men, now I think of it.

AllisonSays

  • disappointed bridge
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #45 on: October 25, 2019, 05:36:24 PM »
I would like more details on her demurral. What kind of a no? Do you think she was ... shy or embarrassed about it, rather than enraged or shocked? I agree with you that it seems strange and I would have read the situation as a definite invitation to ask her out.

Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #46 on: October 25, 2019, 05:39:05 PM »
Yup, her behaviour seems downright weird to me.

The only thing is, did you ask her in front of anyone? i.e. was there anyone else in earshot?  Maybe she liked the idea but was just so embarrassed about other people knowing (which isn't great either, to be fair) that she turned you down, and now can't face you because of being doubly embarrassed.

Either that or it was, indeed, for a bet.

Either that, or it was someone else's phone number that she gave you (in a "my best friend fancies yewww" way), thinking it would be obvious whose it was, and it's all been a horrible comedic misunderstanding.

Whichever of those, or whatever it turns out to be, it is indeed incredibly "playground".  How old is she, if I may ask?


And yeah, from now on best to just ignore her, unless she sends you a message apologising and giving a credible explanation.  You don't want such people in your life if you can help it.

Dr Rock

  • The BEST of luck!
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #47 on: October 25, 2019, 05:40:22 PM »
So, at work there's this girl who I've been getting along with - jokes, flirty glances, easy conversation, etc.  Then last week she voluntarily gives me her phone number on a post-it note with an x underneath.  We exchange a few messages outside of work, I send her a dick pic - everything is good so far.  Yesterday I decided to ask her to go for a drink after work, she looks at me with a puzzled look, laughs and says, very definitely, no.  She's been avoiding me since.

I'm no expert on the fairer sex but that's just odd, right?

Wait I think I've spotted it.

Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #48 on: October 25, 2019, 05:48:11 PM »
Maybe she meant to just send you a black x as a threat/curse but accidentally used a post it she'd scribbled a number on. Didn't think about that, did you.

Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #49 on: October 25, 2019, 05:51:12 PM »
That's..... bizarre.  It seems reasonable enough to me to take things like her number with an x to be a signal so I can only think of (edit: 4) possibilities

1) She really was just being friendly and the x was compulsive  (really? No one thinks "hmmmm giving the opposite sex my number just like that can be taken as a hint, so adding an x is being quite overt about it"?)

2) You've done something to upset her in the meantime.  Maybe said something a bit creepy or offensive or been seen flirting with someone else or whatever

3) The mythological "female who deliberately leads you on so that she can cancel you / get you fired for some thin definition of sexual harassment" does in fact exist and you should be extremely careful

4) She's some game playing mentalist who is best avoided

Either way she seems fickle.  Avoid.

Malcy

  • This is a Post Office isn't it?
    • Twitter
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #50 on: October 25, 2019, 06:12:49 PM »
Leave post it notes with her name,number and an x in colleagues drawers/desks and watch mayhem (possibly) unfold. The office will think she's a slag and she'll think twice before doing it again.

Butchers Blind

  • Porterage where necessary
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #51 on: October 25, 2019, 06:22:23 PM »
Ok, I'm told she's not married or seeing anyone and she's not gay.  The one thing though is she apparently came out of a long term relationship two months ago.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #52 on: October 25, 2019, 06:26:18 PM »
One x on a message means nothing. Nothing.

However I would still have taken that as an invitation to set up a meeting outside work, date or otherwise.

This sort of thing reminds me of my times earlier in life trying to read the runes of women stringing me (and probably others along). Infuriating and baffling. But the only real way to react is to either be calm and dignified or straightforward and upfront.

Dr Rock

  • The BEST of luck!
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #53 on: October 25, 2019, 06:26:28 PM »
POST THE TETXTS

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #54 on: October 25, 2019, 06:27:29 PM »
Ok, I'm told she's not married or seeing anyone and she's not gay.  The one thing though is she apparently came out of a long term relationship two months ago.

There you go, close thread

Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #55 on: October 25, 2019, 06:28:05 PM »
That's..... bizarre.  It seems reasonable enough to me to take things like her number with an x to be a signal so I can only think of (edit: 4) possibilities
::
::
3) The mythological "female who deliberately leads you on so that she can cancel you / get you fired for some thin definition of sexual harassment" does in fact exist and you should be extremely careful

4) She's some game playing mentalist who is best avoided

Either way she seems fickle.  Avoid.

Yeah, 3 or 4 are what are worrying me (hence the last sentence of my previous post).

As for this "compulsive x" thing that several people have mentioned; it seems irrelevant to me.  If a woman sneaks you a Post-It note with a number on and no other explanation (like "Here's the number of that plumber you wanted" or "Call me to arrange going to that charity do with Limmy"), it's an invitation to get to know her better on a personal level, x or no x.  The x really doesn't fucking matter, the phone number does.

Then again I guess I might be out of touch.  Back in the day a phone number was an invitation to chat voice.  Nowadays it could just mean "Hit me up on WhatsApp"... is that materially different?  I dunno.

And yeah, whether or not you should post them here I'm not sure, but the content of the texts does seem highly relevant.

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #56 on: October 25, 2019, 06:31:31 PM »
Maybe the 'x' was a cross meaning DO NOT USE THIS NUMBER.

Butchers Blind

  • Porterage where necessary
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #57 on: October 25, 2019, 06:32:52 PM »
The texts were just friendly 'how are you' kind of ones. No dick pics. Sorry.

Kryton

  • (Not) An actual threat to humanity.
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #58 on: October 25, 2019, 06:38:27 PM »
 As others have asked/said were other people around when you asked her for a drink? Is she shy? Is she mature? Is she nervous? Is she perhaps a player?

I reckon if a lady in the office gave me her number with an X on it, i'd take it as interest too and would be equally confused to be rejected upon asking her out for a drink, if she was just being friendly then it'd probably be more casual/obvious, but i'd have taken it as interest...

Either way, don't let it get to you and don't do anything mental, just be cool and get on with whatever it is you're doing. She might just be shy or a tease or just not aware of giving the wrong signals.

People eh?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Am I missing something?
« Reply #59 on: October 25, 2019, 06:39:01 PM »
''Hmm, something went wrong with the interaction with a woman, I know, let's check a forum predominantly inhabited by irreversibly phimotic unemployed mentally ill balding media degree failure virgins with agoraphobia and severe depression stemming from childhood bullying''