Boomer infestation

[Better Midlands]

"Snowballs were harmless" = A hardhitting line about mixing cocaine and heroin?

EDIT: That's a speedball. Ignore me.

Snowballs were a massive dose of MDA back in the day, far from harmless.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

When the playground was filled with mongs, spackers and flids,
And Jimmy was having his fun with the kids,
When dad drove drunk with nary a care,
And when he got home he'd throw mum down the stairs.

[Cuellar]

At least the rhythm just about holds up. A couple of wobbly lines ('When Doctors made house calls and Police walked the beat' - have to say police as p'lice, and 'When woodwork and pottery got taught in schools, and everyone dreamed of a win on the pools' - you have to put a weird stress on 'got': 'When WOODwork and POTtery GOT taught in SCHOOLS').

'It was dumplings for dinner and trifle for tea, and your annual break was a day by the sea.' - DESOLATION

I'm sorry that your childhood was COMPLETE SHIT MATE

[idunnosomename]

When writing with anapestic tetrameter gave
Permission for your children to dig you your grave

[Fambo Number Mive]

Is the writer complaining that we no longer need to use chamber pots?

I'm sitting here scratching my big wise head
As to why we no longer keep piss under our bed
A widdle into china pot before we feel asleep
And in the morning the smell would still keep
I shat in one once, just by mistake
An ear-wigging next morning I had take

[Huxleys Babkins]

I fucking wish we could go back so that all these old cunts would all just die at 63 of preventable conditions.

"Doctor, I've got blood in my poo."

"Ah, that's probably just an overactive bum-gland, Mr. Phillips. Just have an extra tot of rum and a teaspoon of castor oil before bed and you'll be right as rain in no time."

[king_tubby]

Warm ginger beer? Sounds revolting, fuck the olden days.

[Dewt]

I can't do the the morning work calls anymore

absolute boomer things nightmare

totting up how many acres of land their houses have to make lockdown tolerable
announcing "mia has finally chosen where she wants to go", phrased carefully that precise way to make themselves feel more important by confirming that other people know their children's name and that they are choosing colleges

whoops dropped call sorry my internet connection is still not great yeah sorry about that couldn't maintain BOOMER FUCKING HORSESHIT CALL

[Ferris]

Boomers booming it up at the grocery store. Everyone in a mask, keeping 6ft distance, following the directional arrows and politely waiting for people to move out the way.

NOT I! Cry the 3 boomers who were all going the wrong way down every aisle (on purpose or because their brains are addled on generational privilege, hard to say), pushing past people and grinning, mask-free, as they went.

The amount of effort that everyone else in society is going to in order to keep these morons safe occasionally seems a tad misplaced.

[Dewt]

I can't do the the morning work calls anymore

absolute boomer things nightmare

totting up how many acres of land their houses have to make lockdown tolerable
announcing "mia has finally chosen where she wants to go", phrased carefully that precise way to make themselves feel more important by confirming that other people know their children's name and that they are choosing colleges

whoops dropped call sorry my internet connection is still not great yeah sorry about that couldn't maintain BOOMER FUCKING HORSESHIT CALL

Joined the call okay in time for the other lead boomer to say "Okay, yep, rog, hitting that one out of the park"

That sounds made up but that's actually how he talks

[Sebastian Cobb]

Someone actually once said 'ducks in a row' in all seriousness on one of ours. I wanted to die, I can't imagine how much worse I'd feel if I caught myself saying it.

[Twit 2]

When writing with anapestic tetrameter gave
Permission for your children to dig you your grave

The original poem is not in that metre; it's all over the shop. Too bad to even be consistently in hackmetre. (I think I made the same point last time you brought up that term.)

[Pink Gregory]

so...what's the conclusion?

These were things that were so and now are no longer so?

[Fambo Number Mive]

I wonder if boomers were leaving poems under hedges about how things were better in the 1890s during the 1950s when the people writing the poems in this thread were teenagers. Or sending them to the local paper.

[Twit 2]

When writing with anapestic tetrameter gave
Permission for your children to dig you your grave

This is also not written in anapestic tetrameter.

As I said, the poem is not in any consistent metre but if pushed it's in dactylic (the opposite of anapestic) tetrameter:

when MO-thers had PA-tience and FA-thers had JOBS
          /     X      X    /     X       X   /     X      X    /      (X)
when FOOT-ball team FAM-ilies wore HAND me down
   X       /       X     X      /     X      X      /       X   X       
SHOES
/

[Gurke and Hare]

Some personal highlights in this.

when schools employed nurses to search for your nits.

Remember when we were all infested with lice? That was great.

Back in the days of hot ginger beers

Hot ginger beers? Why is that good?

when butter was butter

What is it now?

Crackerjack pens

Pencils, not pens.

and teachers all stood at the FRONT of their classes.

What?

When woodwork and pottery got taught in schools

So, like now then?

Jesus.

[Dewt]

Snowballs were a massive dose of MDA back in the day, far from harmless.

It's funny that they're blaming other generations for a drug cocktail that only people from their era would remember

[Huxleys Babkins]

What is it now?

Processed spread. Which massively took off because their generation bought it in droves because they thought it was healthier. Little snowflakes, too precious to eat real fucking butter. Spending all their money on Flora toast.

[Dewt]

Can they not just buy the readily-available real butter

[Dewt]

"Margarine, particularly polyunsaturated margarine, has become a major part of the Western diet and had overtaken butter in popularity in the mid-20th century."

Dumb fucking boomers just sneering at anything even if it's from their own childhood

[Sebastian Cobb]

Processed spread. Which massively took off because their generation bought it in droves because they thought it was healthier. Little snowflakes, too precious to eat real fucking butter. Spending all their money on Flora toast.

My parents did that. They bought flora because they thought butter was evil and I maintained butter was better because it tasted nice on toast.

Now they use lurpack which is ostensibly butter but tastes of nothing. You might as well be using vaseline.

[Blumf]

Now they use lurpack which is ostensibly butter but tastes of nothing. You might as well be using vaseline.

[poodlefaker]

Yeh boomers were mad for bad processed food because they thought it was the future when they were kids - margarine, instant coffee, John Smiths Smooth, they love that shit.

[Uncle TechTip]

Then they complain that people today can't cook.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Then they complain that people today can't cook.

I remember my gran being almost in tears when the little parade of shops closed down and it was turned into houses. "How will people do their shopping now?" By shopping at the big Tesco's like you've done for the past ten years, I'd imagine.

[Blinder Data]

Someone actually once said 'ducks in a row' in all seriousness on one of ours. I wanted to die, I can't imagine how much worse I'd feel if I caught myself saying it.

I used that phrase today. What's wrong with it?

*leans back in rocking chair & fills pipe with tobacco*

[the]

Back in the days of hot ginger beers

Hot ginger beers? Why is that good?

Editor's note: I've looked into this - it seems this is a colloquial phrase meaning 'attractive homosexuals'

[Brundle-Fly]

This video popped up on Youtube for me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjrlIhxbeKk It's a short film cartoon comparing life then (a indeterminate point in the past) and now. Short story even shorter; life was much better with mobile phones; they make you sad. There's a nice hidden racism bit where the "then" portion has only white children in the class compared to now.

That was utter cak. 'Then' was as rose-tinted as Savile's little round shades. This is ripe for parody.

[Grendle]

You lot come across as a pack of sneering no mark wankers ho ho.

Fuckers!

You are parodying exactly the same shit we said back in the day.

Ye gods, If only you knew how unoriginal the theme and attitude... fukkin embarrassing reading the above. Im depressed. As you were

[imitationleather]

Okay boomer.