Poll

AUGHDUUUUUUUUURGH

Sir Lindsay Hoyle
9 (33.3%)
Harriet Harman
1 (3.7%)
Dame Eleanor Laing
0 (0%)
Chris Bryant
0 (0%)
Sir Edward Leigh
0 (0%)
Dame Rosie Winterton
0 (0%)
Shailesh Vara
0 (0%)
Sir Henry Bellingham
0 (0%)
Meg Hillier
0 (0%)
Raoul Moat
9 (33.3%)
Geoff Capes
3 (11.1%)
Terry Nutkins
1 (3.7%)
David Bellamy
1 (3.7%)
Mike Morris
1 (3.7%)
Björn Ulvaeus
0 (0%)
Tuppence Middleton
2 (7.4%)
Vagina Oldham
0 (0%)
Irving Nattrass
0 (0%)
John Cunt
0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 27

Author Topic: The next Speaker of the House of Commons  (Read 3851 times)

Noonling

  • You can no longer jump without feet.
The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« on: October 28, 2019, 04:30:04 PM »
I know how a certain someone loves threads being separated, and would probably marry a separate thread if it was legal... So I present to you one that is only tangentially related to Brexit.

Our Lord and Saviour Mr John Bercow is stepping down on 31st, to be replaced by one of these dingbats:
  • Sir Lindsay Hoyle - Labour - 4/9 (place your bets now)
  • Harriet Harman - Labour - 7/2
  • Dame Eleanor Laing - Tory - 8/1
  • Chris Bryant - Labour - 16/1
  • Sir Edward Leigh - Tory - 33/1
  • Dame Rosie Winterton - Labour
  • Shailesh Vara - Tory
  • Sir Henry Bellingham - Tory
  • Meg Hillier - Labour

According to William Hill those last four are unlikely enough that its "Others on request" - even though it lists Rees-Mogg as 50/1. Not sure I trust the established William Hill at all though, considering John Bercow is listed as next Prime Minister at 10/1.

Ham Bap

  • I’m a ham bap.
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2019, 04:37:39 PM »
Give it Giggsy.

Default to the negative

  • outspoken diva
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2019, 04:46:53 PM »
It will probably be Harriet. Her stern headmistress shtick will be a good foil for Boris and his naughty schoolboy gang. It's the perfect sitcom.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2019, 06:01:52 PM »
That would be tiresome as fuck if Harman gets it.

Chris Bryant gets my vote as he has a decent sense of humour.

Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2019, 06:36:23 PM »
Hoyle is the funniest sounding, I'd love to steal flat caps from his washing line and have him chase me across a fen. Gorgeous simple toby jug creature, he goes to harvester multiple times a week. Think he's historically been slightly over-tory though, so very much a heart over head decision.

Default to the negative

  • outspoken diva
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2019, 06:42:33 PM »
Whoever it is, I hope they can finally put a stop to all the jeering and catcalling. Wahey-hey-hey, oi oi oi, ho ho. They sound like a bunch of drunkards. And you sometimes see them falling asleep on the benches. Just dozing off. Yeah, I’m gonna have a little nap now. Because I don’t fucking care, do I.

The government is a complete joke. I would give the job to Timmy Mallett.

Fambo Number Mive

  • Golden Member
  • *****
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2019, 06:42:44 PM »
If we get a Labour speaker, wont that meant the number of Labour Mps is reduced by one in any vote? Given the government has a minority of minus 42 or something, not sure how much that matters.

Really I don't think the Speaker should be an MP. It should be a separate job which you apply for.

Noonling

  • You can no longer jump without feet.
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2019, 06:47:30 PM »
The government is a complete joke. I would give the job to Timmy Mallett.

He's 100/1

Really I don't think the Speaker should be an MP. It should be a separate job which you apply for.

Yeah I don't think it makes much sense as it currently stands, you come with so much baggage as an MP, previous loyalties and so on.

Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2019, 06:51:59 PM »
MP's isn't a great system admittedly, but how would you ensure it's impartial? I'm sure civil servants have vested interests.

The job seems like a bit of a thankless task. So you have to ask why someone would want to do it.

Jenny Taylor

  • master baker

Default to the negative

  • outspoken diva
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #10 on: October 28, 2019, 07:05:58 PM »
The job seems like a bit of a thankless task. So you have to ask why someone would want to do it.

John Bercow seems like a massive attention-seeker. That's probably why he took the job. As Speaker you are literally front and centre.

NoSleep

  • feat. Keith Jarrett and his singing parrot
    • Space Is The Place
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #11 on: October 28, 2019, 07:12:12 PM »
I hear rumours that Harman is due to be deselected. How do her chances fare in those circumstances?

Default to the negative

  • outspoken diva
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #12 on: October 28, 2019, 07:18:28 PM »
Very well, if we all band together and make it happen. HARMAN'S HEROES

pigamus

  • Sex, death, mayonnaise.
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #13 on: October 28, 2019, 07:22:12 PM »
So what's Lindsay Hoyle actually like? Is he any good?

Default to the negative

  • outspoken diva
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #14 on: October 28, 2019, 07:32:51 PM »
So what's Lindsay Hoyle actually like? Is he any good?

His Live at the Apollo set was weak and lazy, but he's surely improved since then. Hopefully he put that facile observational comedy behind him, and has sharpened up enough to have some proper cheeky banter with Boris and the boys.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #15 on: October 28, 2019, 07:51:07 PM »
Which one is best at saying the word "order" in a silly voice?

Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #16 on: October 28, 2019, 08:41:35 PM »
Keith Vaz would be good with the whips.

Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #17 on: October 28, 2019, 09:47:46 PM »
If we get a Labour speaker, wont that meant the number of Labour Mps is reduced by one in any vote? Given the government has a minority of minus 42 or something, not sure how much that matters.

Really I don't think the Speaker should be an MP. It should be a separate job which you apply for.

The three deputy Speakers (one from the same party, and two from the opposite party) don't vote either, so it evens out. Also, when the Speaker is elected, they are supposed to completely disavow their former party and be impartial for ever more (even after they retire, if they go to the Lords). Doesn't apply to the deputies, though.

Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #18 on: October 29, 2019, 11:21:57 AM »
Right. Got to have four speakers for surround sound.

Feel like it’s always me who has to pick up the slack on these ones, think some of you need to roll your sleeves up.

Butchers Blind

  • Porterage where necessary
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #19 on: October 29, 2019, 11:55:35 AM »
Whoever gets to be speaker, as long as they're issued with a tazer, I'm fine with it.

Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #20 on: October 29, 2019, 11:59:23 AM »
Give it to Jess Philips, it'd stop her damaging the labour party from within, give her the attention she obviously craves and a way to make everything about her; she's obviously got the 'gobshite' credentials.

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
    • http://last.fm/user/ImiLeathr
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #21 on: October 29, 2019, 12:01:32 PM »
Give it to Jess Philips, it'd stop her damaging the labour party from within, give her the attention she obviously craves and a way to make everything about her; she's obviously got the 'gobshite' credentials.

But she's always going on (i.e lying) about how she doesn't understand Parliamentary procedures because she's so down to earth and one of us.

Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #22 on: October 29, 2019, 12:03:51 PM »
Lenny Henry should have a go

Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #23 on: October 29, 2019, 12:06:54 PM »
Or David Baddiel, like in them monkey dust sketches.

Dr Rock

  • The BEST of luck!
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #24 on: October 29, 2019, 12:23:44 PM »
Danny Dyer. He's bring his cockney charm and wouldn't stand for any nonsense. I'm not sure how familiar he is with Erskine-May, but I'm sure he'll give it 110%

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #25 on: October 29, 2019, 12:26:11 PM »
Alan Bennett.

Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #26 on: October 29, 2019, 12:26:34 PM »
Give it to Jess Philips, it'd stop her damaging the labour party from within, give her the attention she obviously craves and a way to make everything about her; she's obviously got the 'gobshite' credentials.

Too much hiss and distortion.

Blue Jam

  • AM NO A GRASS
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #27 on: October 29, 2019, 01:57:28 PM »
Hoyle is the funniest sounding, I'd love to steal flat caps from his washing line and have him chase me across a fen.



HONK

oy vey

  • [sic]
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #28 on: October 29, 2019, 05:17:15 PM »
Jabob Rees-Mogg Moogish ramble on the speaker change

Quote
“My role would be to support the new Speaker in coming to a consensus on what the Speaker’s discretion should be. The Speaker is a very powerful umpire, but it is not for the Speaker to determine one way or another which way things are going. But for the rules to be applied, the Speaker needs to know what those rules are.”

Prepare for the neutering.

A non-MP discussed above makes sense.

NoSleep

  • feat. Keith Jarrett and his singing parrot
    • Space Is The Place
Re: The next Speaker of the House of Commons
« Reply #29 on: October 29, 2019, 05:37:16 PM »
I don't necessarily think it's safe for the Speaker not to be an MP. An MP will definitely have to check their own bias whereas a non-MP is not going to be any less biased if they are qualified to take the job. It could be more dangerous politically. Also, currently, the Speaker is somebody who people voted for as an MP somewhere in the UK, so how are we going to vote for the Speaker in the future were they not to be an MP?