Netquix

[Icehaven]

Netflix are apparently trialling a speed-up function so you can binge more at greater speed. Article goes on about films but I can see this being far more popular for trying to get through series.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-50220575

Having only just discovered Crazy Ex-Girlfriend I'm ashamed to say I'd have probably used it initially to zip through some of the songs, although it would have been my loss as now I'm getting more into it I can see they're an integral part of it really, and some of them are actually funny.

Generally though I've mixed feelings about this kind of function, I can agree with criticisms of it and the argument that if you haven't time/can't be bothered to watch something at the speed it was intended then just don't bother, however being honest I can't say I'd never use it if it was an option too. I dunno. 

[touchingcloth]

I can see the use in doing it to churn through programmes faster and maximise your viewing efficiency - time is money, proles - but I imagine the helium voices would fuck me off too much to bother.

[Famous Mortimer]

I occasionally watch shitty b-movies on Youtube at 1.25x speed, and even christened it "the bad movie improver". I haven't listened to a podcast a 1x speed in years. Maybe this'll be fine?

[Consignia]

I can see the use in doing it to churn through programmes faster and maximise your viewing efficiency - time is money, proles - but I imagine the helium voices would fuck me off too much to bother.

Youtube corrects pitch so they sound normal, if speaking breathlessly. So I'd imagine Netflix, with all their Netflix cash, would Netflix steal that implementation in a very Netflix way. Netflix.

I do think Netflix's binge watching culture is having a negative impact on entertainment, and this just Netflix exacerbates the problem. That Netflix said, I've not watched a Youtuber at normal Netflix speed in Netflix years.

[touchingcloth]

Youtube corrects pitch so they sound normal, if speaking breathlessly. So I'd imagine Netflix, with all their Netflix cash, would Netflix steal that implementation in a very Netflix way. Netflix.

I do think Netflix's binge watching culture is having a negative impact on entertainment, and this just Netflix exacerbates the problem. That Netflix said, I've not watched a Youtuber at normal Netflix speed in Netflix years.

I've never noticed that YouTube had a speed up function!

[Consignia]

You need to keep your Netflix eyes peeled.

[touchingcloth]

Speaking of The Netflix. Does anyone else hate how they change the cover images for things so often? I tend to scroll past things I recognise from the cover if they don't interest me before waiting for the title to load, but I keep finding myself stopping on something I've previously skipped over many a time cos they've changed the pissing out of nowhere.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Youtube corrects pitch so they sound normal, if speaking breathlessly. So I'd imagine Netflix, with all their Netflix cash, would Netflix steal that implementation in a very Netflix way. Netflix.

I do think Netflix's binge watching culture is having a negative impact on entertainment, and this just Netflix exacerbates the problem. That Netflix said, I've not watched a Youtuber at normal Netflix speed in Netflix years.

One of the first uses of digital pitch correction was to down-pitch sped up television episodes of I Love Lucy so they could cram more ads in. The US networks have been at it since the 70's.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6i1VVikRu0

I'm barely using netters these days. Tempted to long it off for 6 months or so and come back when there's more shit that interests me.

[madhair60]

if you use this you should go to jail

[jonbob]

I find a lot of Netflix shows seem to be very stretched out, with very little happening, almost as if they're trying to take a film script and extend it to be a 12 part series. Maybe they should work on editing them so it's not 1 plot point per hour....

[Icehaven]

I find a lot of Netflix shows seem to be very stretched out, with very little happening, almost as if they're trying to take a film script and extend it to be a 12 part series. Maybe they should work on editing them so it's not 1 plot point per hour....

Living With Yourself is exactly like this. 8 episodes of about 20 minutes each, and although it was good it would have arguably been better had they just cut a few extraneous bits out and made a film instead.

[touchingcloth]

Living With Yourself is exactly like this. 8 episodes of about 20 minutes each, and although it was good it would have arguably been better had they just cut a few extraneous bits out and made a film instead.

Is that the Paul Rudd one? If so then I bailed out before the end of episode one thinking it was yet another of Netflix's "should've been a film" productions.

Mind you, I feel the same way about The Good Place, which is produced for proper tele rather than Netflix so it's likely to be a problem of commissioners and producers more broadly. Maybe as a writer/producer it's more lucrative to have a TV series which could run for several years than a one-off film based on the same idea, so that's where they tailor their spec scripts even if their - often good - ideas don't really have longevity.

So many Netflix and tele series just fizzle our when they run on and on, though, because, well, why not milk a cash cow for all it's worth? House of Cards and OITNB both had this issue in spite of each having an incredible couple of early series. I think Kimmy Schmidt is the only one which has broke that mould, mainly by virtue of wrapping up with a proper finale rather than a speculative cliffhanger.

[Icehaven]

Yeah I hadn't really considered that there'd be more LWY but of course there's going to be, so I suppose that's the motivation in making a series.

[EOLAN]

Yeah I hadn't really considered that there'd be more LWY but of course there's going to be, so I suppose that's the motivation in making a series.

Yep; that had one of the most obvious - we are doing another series ending.
Can you also watch is as NetSlow; so everyone seems creaky and slow and drunk.

[studpuppet]

It's fine as a tool to get through stuff. Probably useful for me as I'm currently vetting stuff for 13 year-olds who want to watch 15 certificate stuff, but some shows/films are more acceptable (swearing) than others (gory violence).

Not sure whether visual speeding up would be the same as audio, but I once went to a presentation about how electronic devices are empowering visually impaired people to read via text-to-speech.
The young woman that helped as the demonstrator had an iPad set up so when you touched the screen it read out what pushing there a second time would do. The speed of the voice was almost too fast to understand for people in the room with sight, but she understood everything at pretty much the same speed as if she'd been able to look at drop-down menus etc. Then she navigated to her audiobooks and started playing the file she was currently reading, and it was almost unintelligible - way faster than, say, The Chipmunks, but because she wasn't distracted by visual stimuli she understood every word - getting through books took her less time than reading visually would have done.

[Blue Jam]

I used to skip The History Bit on Bake-Off... No need for that anymore, hurrah.

I see Aaron Paul is peeved about this, and I can understand how this could ruin certain glacially-paced drama serials, but personally I would welcome it for Michael Bay films and other cheesy blockbusters which are enjoyable enough but have no real need to be three hours long.

I would also welcome more producers aiming for "British Brevity" and making short, fast-paced episodes of things. BoJack Horseman, Russian Doll, Undone and Arrested Development managed it. Doing that isn't pandering to plebs with no attention spans, it's appreciating that sometimes less is more and being concise is a skill.

With there being far too much telly to watch and many viewers just not having the time for it all it could also become an important skill.

Maybe we should just impose a moratorium on The Golden Age Of Television for a few years. Go back to The Bad Old Days for a bit. Stop Netflix, HBO and Amazon making anything new, except for new episodes of Big Break and Noel's House Party, and then let them resume making quality drama serials once everyone has had time to catch up on on the backlog of existing ones.

[touchingcloth]

I don't agree with producers and actors talking about the feature representing Netflix destroying "their art", when it's not being enforced and is a choice a viewer can make if they like. Tele and cinema isn't the right medium for preserving the integrity of your artistic vision, and if you're truly concerned that it should be then only show your art in a setting that you have complete control over. I don't buy artists wanting to a) have their vision preserved and also b) available on Netflix for as many people as possible to see, please.

Bands might create an album with their vision being that it represents one indivisible whole, but if I want to skip a track or stick one on repeat or add them into a playlist then, nah. Nice to know what you intended, but I'll take what I want from the music I have paid for, cheers.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

The one thing I would like Netflix to do is tell me when the stuff in my list is going to expire. How hard could it possibly be for them to just send an email or notification?

[touchingcloth]

The one thing I would like Netflix to do is tell me when the stuff in my list is going to expire. How hard could it possibly be for them to just send an email or notification?

That would be nice, or keeping the stuff visible but unavailable so you know why something has disappeared from your list rather than having to hunt things down and think someone is gaslighting you when you can't find it. I suppose it wouldn't really work for their business model to advertise just how often stuff gets removed, though - better to keep up the impression it's a vast and ever growing library of gold rather than a fairly statically sized library of mainly dreck.

[Consignia]

The whole UI is designed around obfuscating how content poor it actually is. It's really poor at actually organising it's shows, and I have to use external websites to find what I want.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

I suppose it wouldn't really work for their business model to advertise just how often stuff gets removed, though

Good point. I hadn't thought of that. Still, people will find out that films don't stay up forever, just like I did and it's all the more annoying to find something has gone when you've finally got around to watching it.

There's no need to list the soon to expire films on the front page for all to see. A simple message to say, "This film in your list will expire in X days" would suffice.

[NJ Uncut]

Don't care, won't use it

For that reason the creators should shush

It's not obligatory

[olliebean]

Good point. I hadn't thought of that. Still, people will find out that films don't stay up forever, just like I did and it's all the more annoying to find something has gone when you've finally got around to watching it.

There's no need to list the soon to expire films on the front page for all to see. A simple message to say, "This film in your list will expire in X days" would suffice.

Stick https://www.netflix.com/browse/my-list into your bookmarks. On that page, anything that's expiring soon has a "Available until <whatever date>" note next to it.

[Mister Six]

Youtube corrects pitch so they sound normal, if speaking breathlessly. So I'd imagine Netflix, with all their Netflix cash, would Netflix steal that implementation in a very Netflix way. Netflix.

VLC media player was doing this 15 years ago, so I would hope so. I used to watch my pirated telly on double speed so I could bang through some of the lesser shows in my lunch break. Once your ears adjust it's really not distracting.

I wouldn't recommend it for proper films to actually enjoy, mind you.

[touchingcloth]

Good point. I hadn't thought of that. Still, people will find out that films don't stay up forever, just like I did and it's all the more annoying to find something has gone when you've finally got around to watching it.

There's no need to list the soon to expire films on the front page for all to see. A simple message to say, "This film in your list will expire in X days" would suffice.

They wouldn't need to advertise it prominently, that's true, but I - and most people I know, I think - have fairly big lists of stuff saved, so it might amount to making it prominent for a lot of users.

[Blue Jam]

Youtube corrects pitch so they sound normal,

I frequently listen to podcasts at higher speeds using Antennapod and they're pitch-adjusted and sound absolutely fine. I noted that listening to Adam Buxton interviewing Chris Morris I didn't feel the need to increase the speed because he spoke quickly while still speaking nicely and clearly and not uhhming and ahhing at all.

In short: Podcast interviewees, be more like Chris Morris.

[Jasha]

I've never noticed that YouTube had a speed up function!

Works great with Stevie Wonder videos

[Sebastian Cobb]

My impatient mate used to sky+ the snooker and watch it on fast forward.

I player does 64x I think. I bet that would still make ebdon a chore to watch

[marquis_de_sad]

Walkers have invented a new way to allow crisps to be absorbed directly into your skin, reducing crisp wait-time by up to 24 seconds. Experts say that crisp fans can now consume a hamlet's worth of crisps in under an hour. Many Walkers fans have uploaded videos of themselves rolling in beds of crisps, as their skin absorbs the crunchy snack in slow ecstasy. While some crisp purists say that this devalues the crisp eating experience, many are thrilled by the new efficient system, with one binge crisper calling it "a literal god-send". Walkers skinsuit Gary Linekar took to twitter last night to promote the new spongy potato snack technology, tweeting that "I can feel the vinegar in my veins hashtag crisps". It is unknown whether he survived the night.

[touchingcloth]

I really like Shine On You Crazy Diamond parts I-IX, but at 26 minutes in total sometimes I don't have time to enjoy it. I've solved this by rigging up something with a fishing rod and clothes pegs which lets me hit every single not used in the song at the same time, and I'm much happier now that I can listen to this fantastic bit of music in about a second and barely lose any of the nuance or dynamics in the process. Same goes with the Stairway to Heaven riff, I love being able to enjoy it in its entirety whilst being massively efficient in the process.

Same goes with the works of Shakespeare, or any writer. If you've ever struggled to get through Ulysses or Infinite Jest, you can enjoy the vast majority of both of them - or literally any piece of writing - by using this life hack of mine:

Code Select Expand


ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
1234567890-/:;()£&@".,?!'[
]{}#%^*+=_\|~<>€$¥•