Author Topic: Do you sometimes go mental?  (Read 1416 times)

DolphinFace

  • Put it in me
Do you sometimes go mental?
« on: October 30, 2019, 07:39:48 PM »
Normally takes me 35 minutes to get home from work. Today, it's taken me 3 and a half hours and it's made my blood boil. Now I've had to take a detour to a supermarket because my partner needs ham. I nearly killed someone coming into the carpark because he assumed I'd let him past but instead put my foot down. I've yelled 'fuck' as loud as I can, while waiting in the carpark and the woman in the car next to me heard and is probably scared. A few minutes ago, I just started laughing. Not a warm, comforting laugh. A cold, eerie,I don't know how far down this hole I'm gonna go laugh. Got pie for dinner. recon I'm going to go totally insane and have dessert first.

Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2019, 07:42:19 PM »
What type of ham did your partner need?

Twed

  • What, prick? That's my child. My Johnson's child
Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2019, 07:44:47 PM »

alan nagsworth

  • feel it in the belly like a yellow worm with teeth
Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2019, 07:47:52 PM »
Overcooked some rice the other day. Went and did that bit from Joker where he does a a slow poetic dance in a toilet

Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2019, 07:50:15 PM »
I predict you'll fumble taking the pie out of the box and drop it on floor breaking it. Then you'll start crying.

alan nagsworth

  • feel it in the belly like a yellow worm with teeth
Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2019, 07:59:56 PM »
Realised I'd been sending out work emails using the wrong template for the last 40 minutes. Stuck my head in the microwave and dared god to press start

Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2019, 08:01:37 PM »
Used to but i dont give a fuck anymore

alan nagsworth

  • feel it in the belly like a yellow worm with teeth
Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #7 on: October 30, 2019, 08:03:55 PM »
Dropped my book on the tube and lost my page. Got off at the next stop, grabbed the PA handset off the bloke on the platform and announced to a platform of about 17 people "if all passengers would look in this direction you'll see a total fucking sack of shit", then when they looked I was again doing the slow Joker dance

Cardenio I

  • Hasta la muerte, todo es vida
Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2019, 08:05:12 PM »
Hey dolphin face, is there someone who posts on here with the exact same avatar as you or am I going mad.

Sin Agog

  • Dogs fucked the pope; no fault of mine
Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #9 on: October 30, 2019, 10:50:24 PM »
Have you tried Transcendental Menstruation?

Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #10 on: October 30, 2019, 10:55:12 PM »
Have you tried Transcendental Menstruation?
i don't listen to hip hop

Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #11 on: October 30, 2019, 11:03:55 PM »
Used to do this when commuting in and out of London. Loaded up on caffeine all day and just totally furious at everything and everyone. I would flip out at the slightest thing and kick peoples bags out of the way. Definitely could have ended badly. Now I have a very short commute and I'm better, but there are days when a train is delayed or some shit and i feel that side of me creeping back.

Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #12 on: October 30, 2019, 11:54:35 PM »
Have you tried Transcendental Menstruation?

I prefer 3 AM Eternal.

Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2019, 08:18:37 AM »
I remember once prancing around my apartment alone of an evening, loudly singing Lenny Kravitz’s “American Woman”, but replacing “American” with “Indian” and singing it in the corresponding accent. I had one of those kind of outer body experiences where I was able to observe myself objectively and decided there were some things I really needed to sort out.

Old Nehamkin

  • Dance, Jimmy!
Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2019, 08:21:26 AM »
I remember once prancing around my apartment alone of an evening, loudly singing Lenny Kravitz’s “American Woman”, but replacing “American” with “Indian” and singing it in the corresponding accent. I had one of those kind of outer body experiences where I was able to observe myself objectively and decided there were some things I really needed to sort out.

Are you Nick Mullen from Cum Town?

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #15 on: October 31, 2019, 08:43:04 AM »
Bought a lime for 1 quid in Waitrose and saw same lime for 85 pence in Morrisons. Genocide of Blakelaw

Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #16 on: October 31, 2019, 10:07:05 AM »
This poster has only registered recently and almost everything they've posted relates to "going mental".  Be careful when replying they may be hoping for some wank stories.

alan nagsworth

  • feel it in the belly like a yellow worm with teeth
Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #17 on: October 31, 2019, 10:18:03 AM »
Genuinely so tired and irritable today that on the tube there was a man sat next to me with his dickhead legs just wide enough apart that his knee — which was bopping along to his headphones like it was that of a fucking motorised dog having the behind of its ear scratched with... I dunno, one of those cappuccino frothers or something, whatever motorised dogs like to be scratched by — was brushing lightly against mine, and for the whole three or four minutes of this happening I just wanted to volley the fucker’s head off like a goddamn rugby ball directly into the sun which would be conveniently really close to the earth, so close that immediately after my successful punt witnessed by an empty stadium of no one, the heat of the massive burning star seared my skin off and then obliterated the entire planet.

Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #18 on: October 31, 2019, 06:23:39 PM »
HMRC have stuck me on emergency tax and I very nearly lost my rag when their machine talked absolute shite for several minutes about signing up to their website before saying 'we can't take your call now' and just cutting me off.

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

  • Nothing is ever as good or bad as you think.
    • http://www.last.fm/user/georgethebadger/
Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #19 on: October 31, 2019, 08:20:43 PM »
Nobody truly ever needs ham.

Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #20 on: November 01, 2019, 01:45:11 PM »
We're sending our ham down the well

icehaven

  • Please don't hi five people in Tamworth
Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #21 on: November 01, 2019, 02:55:38 PM »
Used to do this when commuting in and out of London. Loaded up on caffeine all day and just totally furious at everything and everyone. I would flip out at the slightest thing and kick peoples bags out of the way. Definitely could have ended badly. Now I have a very short commute and I'm better, but there are days when a train is delayed or some shit and i feel that side of me creeping back.

For many years I had a two bus, 1-2 hr commute 5 days a week, and I had so...much...rage, but then about 4 years ago I moved walking/5 minutes on a bus distance from work, and the difference to my temperament was incredible. I think the combination of being up early or just wanting to get home, repetition, being packed like sardines with people you'd often rather not share an aircraft hangar with is all bad enough already so when something else happens like running late or delays or other passengers being a nause (standing in the aisle blocking people trying to get on and off and playing shitty tinny music on phones are my two particular buttons) it can seem disproportionate to react furiously but it's often that that was just the final straw.

Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #22 on: November 01, 2019, 02:58:53 PM »
Amazon are testing my patience.

Ordered item yesterday because delivery said Saturday.

Get dpd confirmation saying Friday. Try and reschedule and they won't do Sat without a fiver upgrade.

Speak to someone on live chat, they say they'll contact dpd and sort it.

Delivery attempted today. Say they will retry Monday, when I'm at work.

I speak to someone on Amazon, they say they'll speak to DPD.

Now I've got a text from DPD saying 'thanks for telling us to leave the item in your front porch on Monday 4th'.

Trying a THIRD time now.

Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #23 on: November 05, 2019, 12:34:47 AM »
The algorithm has gone out of sync. Thats what's going on here.

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #24 on: November 09, 2019, 04:56:14 AM »
Now I've had to take a detour to a supermarket because my partner needs ham.

Just wanted to belated say that this tickled me, DF, but I sympathize with your sometimes going mentalness... often have to restrain myself from blowing a gasket in public. Shop assistants wiping their noses with their hands is a particular steam-builder.


Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #25 on: November 09, 2019, 05:13:26 AM »
^

RISK


YOUR BANNED

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: Do you sometimes go mental?
« Reply #26 on: November 09, 2019, 05:23:09 AM »