Author Topic: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks  (Read 1074 times)

I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« on: October 30, 2019, 11:10:21 PM »
Haven't been to Paris since I were a fucken backpacking teenage idiot. Don't know anyone there. Can't speak French.

Anything worth doing?

I will be mainly looking to spend my free time wandering around listening to audiobooks and sitting writing in cafes.

Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2019, 11:13:52 PM »
go in the cathedral oh! oh ho ho!

Dex Sawash

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2019, 11:15:53 PM »

no go zone now, full of french

Noonling

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2019, 11:16:04 PM »
See if you can fit the entire Eiffel Tower inside you.

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2019, 12:26:09 AM »
Stay drunk at all times and speak as much English as you can.

Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2019, 12:31:17 AM »
go to the banlieue with a traditional jambon beurre and shout WAHEY LADS

Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2019, 04:06:04 AM »
It's an obvious one but I couldn't give a higher recommendation than Exhibition Années 90.

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2019, 04:08:48 AM »
Go to a French Restaurant, they're food is very good.

imitationleather

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #8 on: October 31, 2019, 05:34:23 AM »
It's just like London really. So nudge people and say, "What about them sheep-burning lazy striking racist bastards in the countryside, eh?!"

I've never been to Paris.

icehaven

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2019, 07:22:16 AM »
Go in Seine, hahaha.

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2019, 07:44:35 AM »
Can't speak French.
So let the funky music do the talking.

Anything worth doing?
Look out for art exhibitions, usually something cool on.

Go to the Galerie Lafayette.  Crazy posh expensive stuff, but go onto the roof for the best free view of Paris.
Usually have massive lovely Christmas displays in the middle too.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2019, 07:50:17 AM »
Watch donkeys having their flesh stripped from their bones
In Paris

Watch a Tamil stowaway flog plastic toys to frightened passers by
In Paris

Watch a prostitute with a tin man gait baying for new cock
In Paris

Tip minced Algerians into a cauldron of hi vis jackets and piss
In Paris

Lose your luggage at one of the worst airports in Europe
In Paris

Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2019, 08:32:47 AM »
Serious answer:

Art galleries, museums, churches and unbelievable food.

Musée de l'Orangerie - often ignored, small but serene, the Monet infinity room is special.
Musée d'Orsay - top tier shit.
Louvre - full of tourists but top tier shit.
Centre Pompidou - modern art, top tier shit.
Notre Dame - decent
Sacre Coeur - OK, ball ache to get to
Eiffel Tower - OK, lot of tourists

Restaurants:

Depends where you're staying, I usually go St. Germain, it's like quintessential Paris vibe, beautiful architecture, clean, brasseries facing little squares, nothing too major to attract billions of tourists so it feels a little more like real life. It's pretty expensive but worth it, it's quality rather than tourist rip-off shit.

Chez Fernand is an amazing restaurant there. Classic bistro fayre but they only have about ten covers. Had a couple of meals there and every dish exceptional. Went to a number around there, all excellent, but this is the pick.

Les deux Magots and Café de Flore are classic Art Deco kind of legendary Paris hangouts for your Picasso and Sartre and them lot. Worth a coffee to soak it up.

Creperie Little Breizh - amazing buckwheat crepes. I had blue cheese and ham, with a yolk. One of the best things I've ever eaten.

Hanoi is the best Vietnamese restaurant I've ever eaten at but probably not one for this trip unless you're bored of bistro.

Literally loads, can't go wrong with trip advisor lists for wherever you are. Possibly the best concentration of amazing restaurants in Europe.

Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2019, 08:43:47 AM »
What are you gonna write in cafes, a load of fucking shit?

Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2019, 09:28:27 AM »
Oh look at me im a fucking flâneur

Stroll into grave

Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #15 on: October 31, 2019, 09:32:09 AM »
They're very rare and not at all easy to come by, but you could try to source a small model of the Eiffel Tower. Don't even know where you'd begin to look though, sorry.

touchingcloth

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #16 on: October 31, 2019, 09:33:00 AM »
Mais oui, entrer dans gràve.

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #17 on: October 31, 2019, 09:38:34 AM »
See as many films as you can in one of Paris' many beautiful art-deco cinemas.

Go to Marais and try the food.

Also, if you like Twin Peaks Season 3 then there are some nice little places to visit.

Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #18 on: October 31, 2019, 09:44:48 AM »
Look at all the dog shit everywhere

Filthy fucking city

Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #19 on: October 31, 2019, 10:02:37 AM »
Catacombs mate, have a ponce at some skellingtons

Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #20 on: October 31, 2019, 10:03:12 AM »
Then fucking stay down there where you belong you cunt

Cuellar

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #21 on: October 31, 2019, 10:04:53 AM »
Do the 'Beckett Tour': stay up until around 4-5am then go to a brothel.

Highly recommended, got 4 stars on TripAdvisor.

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #22 on: October 31, 2019, 12:37:14 PM »
If you're there on a Friday or Sunday (and presumably you would be, if you're there for two weeks), you might check out the Phono Museum at  53 boulevard de Rochechouart. It's a quick walk from the Gare du Nord (10 mins), and right next to the hotel I usually stay in.

https://en.parisinfo.com/paris-museum-monument/150228/Phono-Museum-Paris

It is fucking amazing if you like music/history of recorded music.

Myself prefer the 18th, which is the area all around Sacre Coeur. There's a lot of funky shops, quiet places and windy streets to walk, and myself like to wander around the flea markets on the weekend. The latter are horribly overpriced but it's still fun to have a sift through the stuff.

Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #23 on: October 31, 2019, 01:37:18 PM »
Just sit in cafes all day chomping onions and going haw-he-haw-he-haw.

Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #24 on: October 31, 2019, 03:50:51 PM »
They're very rare and not at all easy to come by, but you could try to source a small model of the Eiffel Tower. Don't even know where you'd begin to look though, sorry.

The French are very reluctant to let them out of the country, your best bet is to shove one up your arse in the airport queue.

More seriously, the Monet museum is very good if you like Monet, ditto the Gustav Moreau museum if you like absurd 19th century late-Romantic art, there is basically a museum for everything, and L'As du Fallafel in Marais is Lenny Kravitz's favorite chickpea destination (the queues are probably bigger than at the Louvre, but it's also considerably better organised).

Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #25 on: October 31, 2019, 03:53:39 PM »
Stuff your face with cheese until you explode.

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #26 on: October 31, 2019, 07:25:59 PM »
Sacre Coeur - OK, ball ache to get to

Mate, you've had a fucking nightmare there. You use a funicular to get to it, it's a dream.

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #27 on: October 31, 2019, 07:36:08 PM »
Don’t look now but you are already in Paris.

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #28 on: October 31, 2019, 07:38:09 PM »
You can get a beer in McDonald's over there. Last time I was in Paris I sat in a public park adjacent to the McDonald's, on the grass, with my McDonald's and beer, and thought "Oh, well this is rather different". They've got green signs too, instead of the red ones we have. You should do everything I've listed.

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Re: I have to go and work in Paris for two weeks
« Reply #29 on: October 31, 2019, 07:39:32 PM »
You can get a beer in McDonald's over there. Last time I was in Paris I sat in a public park adjacent to the McDonald's, on the grass, with my McDonald's and beer, and thought "Oh, well this is rather different". They've got green signs too, instead of the red ones we have. You should do everything I've listed.