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playground modifications to pop songs.

Started by Absorb the anus burn, November 03, 2019, 02:39:15 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

alan nagsworth

Ace of Base:

I saw your mum
She opened up her legs and said come on
Life is outstanding
Shagging on the landing

idunnosomename

I feel it in my fingers
I feel it up my nose
Pulled out another bogey
Under the desk it goes

Artie Fufkin

Just remembered this charming one (to the tune of Oh Boy)

All my life
I've been kissing
Your left tit
Cos the right one's missing
Oh Boy! etc etc

alan nagsworth

Quote from: idunnosomename on November 04, 2019, 04:04:29 PM
I feel it in my fingers
I feel it up my nose
Pulled out another bogey
Under the desk it goes

Ours was "I pick it and I flick it, and god knows where it goes"

Twed

Quote from: Twed on November 04, 2019, 02:56:43 PM
"Down at Fraggle Rock,
grab a Fraggle by his cock
Swing him round your head
now that Fraggle's dead."

I forgot about verse 2:

"Find another one,
stick a chainsaw up his bum.
Turn the power on -
now that Fraggle's gone."


Brilliant last line again.

idunnosomename

Quote from: alan nagsworth on November 04, 2019, 06:25:31 PM
Ours was "I pick it and I flick it, and god knows where it goes"
to be honest i may have just made up the last two lines now. Still thats how it works. Wet Wet Wet's ubiquitous Troggs cover was def about bogeys.

Absorb the anus burn

I only want to be with you:

"... I don't know why I keep on picking my nose.
It's probably because of those juicy crows.
Oh, I'm gonna get you yes I am.
And then I'm gonna flick you in the strawberry jam.
It's crazy but it's true.
My little finger's after you...

Phil_A

My name's Coco, I'm a monkey like you
I live in a jungle, not in a zoo
I keep my condoms in a bright red box
But I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops, oh yeaahhhhhh

idunnosomename

God slang for congealed snot crows. Wonder if thats in the oed

Hmm must come from this meaning dig via the dutch/afrikaans
https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/45027?rskey=AdOKYS&result=6&isAdvanced=false#eid

non capisco

Quote from: boki on November 04, 2019, 12:27:05 PM
So here it is, Merry Christmas!
Everybody's had your mum.
We couldn't help ourselves,
She loves it up the bu-u-uuum.


This is the one to beat, everyone. The nes plus ultra of playground modifications to pop songs.

idunnosomename

There must be some Oasis ones. Why was it all Ace of Base.

gib

A good fart these days is hard to find.
A good fart, from a large behind.

from A Good Fart by Sheargal Farty, 1985

gib

Quote from: non capisco on November 04, 2019, 10:44:47 PM
This is the one to beat, everyone. The nes plus ultra of playground modifications to pop songs.

Agreed.

First thing for donkey's years that has me looking forward to xmas.

flotemysost

Tragedy
When you need a poo and there is no loo, it's
Tragedy
When it comes out yer bum like Pedigree Chum it's
Hard to bear
There's poo-oo all over your underwear
Da dow, da dow dow

Flouncer

Our local variation of the Fraggle Rock song was this:

Down at Fraggle Rock,
Grab a fraggle by the cock.
Swing him round your head,
Til the fucker's dead.

Throw him in a bin,
Sellotape the fucker in.
After all that's done,
Shoot him with a gun.


If you've already killed him by swinging him around by his cock then entombed him in a dustbin, the final step is rendered superfluous really.

Quote from: Phil_A on November 04, 2019, 10:13:31 PM
My name's Coco, I'm a monkey like you
I live in a jungle, not in a zoo
I keep my condoms in a bright red box
But I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops, oh yeaahhhhhh


I remember hearing a variation of this one at the local youth club when I was in primary school. It retains the contraceptive theme but is a bit more bawdy. I'd like to know where the idea of Coco being a purveyor/hoarder of condoms originates.

My name is Coco, I live in a tree,
Selling condoms for 50p.
Big ones, small ones, take your pick,
I might have got one that'll fit your dick.


There was also this Steps one - it's possible there was more to it and I was only treated to a fragment of it.

Tragedy!
When we're havin' a fuck and yer balls get stuck inside a' me!


I can clearly remember some kid singing it outside the library and his mate commenting that it was gay to sing about having someone's balls stuck inside you.

gib

Quote from: flotemysost on November 04, 2019, 11:36:23 PM
Tragedy
When you need a poo and there is no loo, it's
Tragedy
When it comes out yer bum like Pedigree Chum it's
Hard to bear
There's poo-oo all over your underwear
Da dow, da dow dow

cf

when your balls get stuck and you're having a fuck

when your mind goes blank and you're having a wank

idunnosomename

What do you do if you really need a poo
In an English country garden
Pull down your pants and shit amongst the ants
In an English country garden

idunnosomename

Tragedy is a Bee Gees cover you philistines. Though i will accept it was channeled into the playground via Steps

Captain Z

Obviously it was long after I was last in a playground*, but I assume we've all heard the incredibly bad taste Carly Rae Jepsen/Ian Watkins one...



*At least 8 weeks after.

Dog Botherer

to the tune of "i love rock n roll", presumably due to the britney spears cover

"i love toilet roll
wrap it round my finger and shove it up me hole"

those were the days

Flouncer

Quote from: idunnosomename on November 04, 2019, 11:52:50 PM
Tragedy is a Bee Gees cover you philistines. Though i will accept it was channeled into the playground via Steps

They'll always be Les Tosseurs to me.

pigamus

"I've got the power" by Snap became "You broke my hymen" at my junior school in 1990. The girls absolutely loved singing it for some reason. Bit weird.

Twed

I suspect M People's "You've got to search for the pubics inside your pants" was probably isolated to my school, or even form group.

Lordofthefiles

I remember the night I needed a shite,
I waited for hours,
Ran out of the house, jumped over the wall,
and shit in the flowers,
Maaaagic moments,


©Bacharach/David

Icehaven

Not a modification as such but singing ''Do you have to let it lingerrrrr?'' when someone farted was a thing for a while.

JesusAndYourBush

In my mind and in my cart
We can't rewind we've got to fart

Bently Sheds

Quote from: Lordofthefiles on November 05, 2019, 08:38:03 AM
I remember the night I needed a shite,
I waited for hours,
Ran out of the house, jumped over the wall,
and shit in the flowers,
Maaaagic moments,


©Bacharach/David
I'll never forget
The smell of your sweat
And how it would linger.

It wasn't the grass
That tickled your arse
It was my middle finger
Maaaagic Mohhhhhments!!

Artie Fufkin

Oh my island in the sun
Not big enough for *insert name*'s bum
Even though it's a mile wide
*insert gender* big flabby buttocks hang over the side

Bently Sheds

If you go down to the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise
If you go down to the woods today
You'll never believe your eyes.

Cos Mum and Dad are having a shag
And Aunty Sue is shagging them too
And Uncle Frank
Is having a wank
With grandad

Artie Fufkin

You'd better watch out
You'd better beware
Santa Claus is covered in hair
Santa Claus is covered
In hair

Santa Claus is covered in hair
There's not a patch of him bare
He has more than his fair share
Santa Claus is covered in hair