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Festival of Brexit to go ahead

Started by Fambo Number Mive, November 05, 2019, 10:09:50 AM

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Fambo Number Mive

QuoteBoris Johnson's government is pressing ahead with a controversial post-Brexit festival of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, inherited from Theresa May, but which the new prime minister had been urged to shelve.

Dean Creamer, a delivery director for the 2022 Commonwealth Games in Birmingham, has been put in charge of planning for the £120m project – dubbed the "festival of Brexit" by critics – which is due to take place in 2022, the Guardian has learned...

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/nov/05/government-pushes-ahead-plans-festival-of-brexit

So the man who wasted £43m of public money on the Garden Bridge wants to waste at least £120m of public money on a divisive celebration of a bad decision.

QuoteIn response to a freedom of information request by the Guardian, the Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport (DCMS) said it had established a festival of Great Britain and Northern Ireland 2022 programme board, which met regularly. Members included representatives from the Treasury and Cabinet Office. A delivery body with a budget of £120m is being appointed.

I mean what is there to celebrate about Brexit from a cultural, or indeed any, perspective?

BlodwynPig

Looking forward to Emile Sande at a piano, Underworld-lite techno beats to a lightshow, Sir Gary Barlow bringing the crowd to tears, Rylan stand-up, Britain's oldest war man etc. All in the rain.

ajsmith2


Neville Chamberlain

Quote from: BlodwynPig on November 05, 2019, 10:12:13 AM
Looking forward to Emile Sande at a piano, Underworld-lite techno beats to a lightshow, Sir Gary Barlow bringing the crowd to tears, Rylan stand-up, Britain's oldest war man etc. All in the rain.

A Lee Hurst "comedy" "routine".

Buelligan

And a flyover by Nigel Farage (Cummings and Farage's wife, in specially constructed concrete boots in the foundations).





Neville Chamberlain

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on November 05, 2019, 10:09:50 AM
I mean what is there to celebrate about Brexit from a cultural, or indeed any, perspective?

Getting our country back? Never though of that, did you!

Norton Canes


Cuellar

Geoffrey Boycott playing a forward defensive and shaking his fist in a jokey manner at a woman dressed up as his wife

Paul Calf

The ceremonial burning of the £50 note in front of a crowd of rough sleepers.

Neville Chamberlain

A nun carrying a Dyson on a bike dressed up as a warm beer in a misty* field.


*drizzly

Captain Z

and now, the 'I don't believe it' dancers!

Petey Pate

Hoping this is the Fyre festival for boomers.

Kryton

Mumford and fucking sons headlining whilst the whole festival crumbles off a cliff into a churning black ocean of GRAVE.

Kryton

Nigel Farage drinking a pint of mild on stage repeatedly raising his glass and saying cheers and winking a lot and everyone cheering for six or seven hours straight.

BlodwynPig

The Two Bald Princes awkwardly doing a 'down with the kidz' sketch involving massacring a papier macho rhino and flying a drone into a pile of turbans. A weepy moment at the end when their two sullen wives appear on stage pursued by mock paparazzi. The ghost of Diana appears and swats the photographers aside whilst a man from The Sun appears as Paul the Apostle on the Road to Damascus. Ricky Gervais enters stage right doing 'the dance' 'again' dressed as Jesus and tells The Sun man/Paul 'you are forgiven'. A giant 'GOTCHA' banner descends and closes the act as a cartoon Corbyn is pronged in turn by everyone on stage.

Cuellar

Wetherspoons cunt just walking around on stage saying 'And they said it couldn't be done!'

A bulldog has a shit.

Cuellar

Ricky Gervais reads out angry tweets from remoaners

Buelligan

Queen throws maundy mouldies - a tradition dating back to the last millenium - at a weeping crowd of piteous beggar-people as Brian May straddles the ascendant Trump balloon and solos a wonderful SFA tribute.

Captain Z

Quote from: Cuellar on November 05, 2019, 11:04:45 AM
Ricky Gervais reads out angry tweets from remoaners

Live via satellite from LA.

idunnosomename

James O'Brain drowns in his own tears


Buelligan

Featuring the Three Judges as surprise guests.


Supergroup, Enemies of the People


Icehaven

Re-enactment of the negotiations, in which a table of people dressed in black tie has a sit down silver service meal including wine at a few grand a bottle, live on stage for 3 and a half years while the amount it cost appears on a charity telethon-style counter over their heads. Eventually one of them notices the audience and stands up with a theatrical ''I say!'', curtain drops, fin.   

Sebastian Cobb

Premium ticket holders get access to the Till Death Do Us Part dining experience.

Kryton

The hipster-style food shortages eatery in which people fight for scraps in a darkened tent.

FREE bulldog tattoos with a shared needle.

Gammon flavoured ales at £17.99 a pint (and none of that foreign muck).

Just all round great bantz.


idunnosomename

peace prosperity and friendship to all nations

Neville Chamberlain

A bright, internationalist, socialist nation freed from the shackles of neoliberalism.

I'm sure that's what most Brexiters wanted, wasn't it?

BlodwynPig

5 minutes in... "Ladies and Gentlemen, due to technical difficulties we are afraid to inform you that the Festival of Brexit is now cancelled."

That's it. No denouement. No refunds. People trundle back to their homes in Vancouver, Hyderabad, Perth and St. Albans.

Buelligan

Hieronymus Bosch appointed official artist.