Author Topic: Festival of Brexit to go ahead  (Read 1169 times)

Fambo Number Mive

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Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« on: November 05, 2019, 10:09:50 AM »
Quote
Boris Johnson’s government is pressing ahead with a controversial post-Brexit festival of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, inherited from Theresa May, but which the new prime minister had been urged to shelve.

Dean Creamer, a delivery director for the 2022 Commonwealth Games in Birmingham, has been put in charge of planning for the £120m project – dubbed the “festival of Brexit” by critics – which is due to take place in 2022, the Guardian has learned...

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/nov/05/government-pushes-ahead-plans-festival-of-brexit

So the man who wasted £43m of public money on the Garden Bridge wants to waste at least £120m of public money on a divisive celebration of a bad decision.

Quote
In response to a freedom of information request by the Guardian, the Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport (DCMS) said it had established a festival of Great Britain and Northern Ireland 2022 programme board, which met regularly. Members included representatives from the Treasury and Cabinet Office. A delivery body with a budget of £120m is being appointed.

I mean what is there to celebrate about Brexit from a cultural, or indeed any, perspective?

BlodwynPig

  • Infinity - 1 Monkey
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2019, 10:12:13 AM »
Looking forward to Emile Sande at a piano, Underworld-lite techno beats to a lightshow, Sir Gary Barlow bringing the crowd to tears, Rylan stand-up, Britain's oldest war man etc. All in the rain.

Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2019, 10:14:47 AM »
Parade of 65 year old WW2 veterans.

Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2019, 10:16:36 AM »
Looking forward to Emile Sande at a piano, Underworld-lite techno beats to a lightshow, Sir Gary Barlow bringing the crowd to tears, Rylan stand-up, Britain's oldest war man etc. All in the rain.

A Lee Hurst "comedy" "routine".

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2019, 10:18:42 AM »
And a flyover by Nigel Farage (Cummings and Farage's wife, in specially constructed concrete boots in the foundations).




Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2019, 10:21:44 AM »
a tramp pissing in a bin

Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2019, 10:22:44 AM »
I mean what is there to celebrate about Brexit from a cultural, or indeed any, perspective?

Getting our country back? Never though of that, did you!

Norton Canes

  • Watching the Wednesday wheel
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2019, 10:26:42 AM »
Increased jam rations

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2019, 10:31:57 AM »
Geoffrey Boycott playing a forward defensive and shaking his fist in a jokey manner at a woman dressed up as his wife

Paul Calf

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Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #9 on: November 05, 2019, 10:34:12 AM »
The ceremonial burning of the £50 note in front of a crowd of rough sleepers.

Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2019, 10:34:46 AM »
A nun carrying a Dyson on a bike dressed up as a warm beer in a misty* field.


*drizzly

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2019, 10:38:25 AM »
and now, the 'I don't believe it' dancers!

Petey Pate

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Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #12 on: November 05, 2019, 10:39:35 AM »
Hoping this is the Fyre festival for boomers.

Kryton

  • (Not) An actual threat to humanity.
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #13 on: November 05, 2019, 10:51:12 AM »
Mumford and fucking sons headlining whilst the whole festival crumbles off a cliff into a churning black ocean of GRAVE.

Kryton

  • (Not) An actual threat to humanity.
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #14 on: November 05, 2019, 10:54:18 AM »
Nigel Farage drinking a pint of mild on stage repeatedly raising his glass and saying cheers and winking a lot and everyone cheering for six or seven hours straight.

BlodwynPig

  • Infinity - 1 Monkey
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #15 on: November 05, 2019, 11:00:01 AM »
The Two Bald Princes awkwardly doing a 'down with the kidz' sketch involving massacring a papier macho rhino and flying a drone into a pile of turbans. A weepy moment at the end when their two sullen wives appear on stage pursued by mock paparazzi. The ghost of Diana appears and swats the photographers aside whilst a man from The Sun appears as Paul the Apostle on the Road to Damascus. Ricky Gervais enters stage right doing 'the dance' 'again' dressed as Jesus and tells The Sun man/Paul 'you are forgiven'. A giant 'GOTCHA' banner descends and closes the act as a cartoon Corbyn is pronged in turn by everyone on stage.

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #16 on: November 05, 2019, 11:02:38 AM »
Wetherspoons cunt just walking around on stage saying 'And they said it couldn't be done!'

A bulldog has a shit.

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #17 on: November 05, 2019, 11:04:45 AM »
Ricky Gervais reads out angry tweets from remoaners

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #18 on: November 05, 2019, 11:06:50 AM »
Queen throws maundy mouldies - a tradition dating back to the last millenium - at a weeping crowd of piteous beggar-people as Brian May straddles the ascendant Trump balloon and solos a wonderful SFA tribute.

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #19 on: November 05, 2019, 11:07:47 AM »
Ricky Gervais reads out angry tweets from remoaners

Live via satellite from LA.

Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #20 on: November 05, 2019, 11:08:13 AM »
James O'Brain drowns in his own tears

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #21 on: November 05, 2019, 11:10:20 AM »
A special, one-off hanging.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #22 on: November 05, 2019, 11:15:16 AM »
Featuring the Three Judges as surprise guests.


Supergroup, Enemies of the People


icehaven

  • Please don't hi five people in Tamworth
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #23 on: November 05, 2019, 11:22:27 AM »
Re-enactment of the negotiations, in which a table of people dressed in black tie has a sit down silver service meal including wine at a few grand a bottle, live on stage for 3 and a half years while the amount it cost appears on a charity telethon-style counter over their heads. Eventually one of them notices the audience and stands up with a theatrical ''I say!'', curtain drops, fin.   

Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #24 on: November 05, 2019, 11:44:05 AM »
Premium ticket holders get access to the Till Death Do Us Part dining experience.

Kryton

  • (Not) An actual threat to humanity.
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #25 on: November 05, 2019, 12:13:58 PM »
The hipster-style food shortages eatery in which people fight for scraps in a darkened tent.

FREE bulldog tattoos with a shared needle.

Gammon flavoured ales at £17.99 a pint (and none of that foreign muck).

Just all round great bantz.


Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #26 on: November 05, 2019, 12:16:00 PM »
peace prosperity and friendship to all nations

Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #27 on: November 05, 2019, 12:16:45 PM »
A bright, internationalist, socialist nation freed from the shackles of neoliberalism.

I'm sure that's what most Brexiters wanted, wasn't it?

BlodwynPig

  • Infinity - 1 Monkey
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #28 on: November 05, 2019, 12:19:17 PM »
5 minutes in... "Ladies and Gentlemen, due to technical difficulties we are afraid to inform you that the Festival of Brexit is now cancelled."

That's it. No denouement. No refunds. People trundle back to their homes in Vancouver, Hyderabad, Perth and St. Albans.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Festival of Brexit to go ahead
« Reply #29 on: November 05, 2019, 12:20:38 PM »
Hieronymus Bosch appointed official artist.

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