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Bad stuff you have done for which you feel no remorse

Started by madhair60, November 07, 2019, 11:10:49 AM

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madhair60

Swept entire fridge of soft drinks to the ground in Budgens. I'd do it again tomorrow. The cunts

What shit of you done

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Giving Your Mum one up the Rick Witter*



* special Non-#Cancelled PopStar- type rhyming slang.

Cuellar

Quote from: madhair60 on November 07, 2019, 11:10:49 AM
Swept entire fridge of soft drinks to the ground in Budgens. I'd do it again tomorrow. The cunts

What shit of you done

Absolute scum

the midnight watch baboon

Left unflushable matter in a Cambridge toilet. Yeah I overindulged in bog roll. I was out, having a good time. Considered popping to a £ shop to try and plumb it away myself, but decided to leave it to the pros.

I'd do it again, and in a nicer café.

Sebastian Cobb

Using the right lane to go all the way around a roundabout to jump the queue of people turning left.

holyzombiejesus

Spitting in to a car full of students who had just thrown a load of gummy bears at me.

Cuellar


Rich Uncle Skeleton

Changed the channels on the neighbours telly through the window using our identical remote. Still makes me laugh thinking about it because I'm a bore with no life.

flotemysost

Sabotaging the signature sheet of a petition some pro-life bores had outside a shopping centre where I grew up, by going as if I was about to sign it then writing FUCK YOU all over it in massive letters so no one else could sign.

Quote from: the midnight watch baboon on November 07, 2019, 11:26:41 AM
Left unflushable matter in a Cambridge toilet. Yeah I overindulged in bog roll. I was out, having a good time. Considered popping to a £ shop to try and plumb it away myself, but decided to leave it to the pros.

I'd do it again, and in a nicer café.

I blocked a toilet in Auckland airport once, probably poisoning half the nation's water supply. Not even an overindulgence of bog roll, just the sheer might of my colonic output. I'd been sharing a cramped cabin with four people and it was my first chance to shit in relative solitude for days, no regrets.


rasta-spouse

Delivering the Stone Cold Stunner on Thatcher's waxwork in front of some braying Saudi tourists at Tussauds. Didn't need to grease my shoulder perch for months after.

SteveDave

I stuck the pen of an odious racist/sexist/everything-ist co-worker betwixt my cheeks and walked around the office on a hot day before returning it to his desk.

When I left that job I considered buying a load of sex toys and mailing them to his wife with my condolences.

Sebastian Cobb

Cycle through pedestrian crossings if they're on red and there's nobody crossing.


hedgehog90

While on a spinning carnival ride encouraging my friend to do a big spit. It immediately hit his girlfriend in the face sitting next to him, who was grieving the recent death of her younger brother.
We all laughed.

touchingcloth

Threw an open carton of bad soup into a stationary convertible.


kngen

Lots and lots of shoplifting when I was on the dole and skint.

KO'd a Nazi skin after kicking him in the head with steelies on during a brawl at a gig. (Had no idea I'd rendered him unconscious until a mate told me six months later at a party. Felt a bit 'eeep!' on hearing that, but - fuck him, he didn't die. Just got carried outside.

Tore the rear windscreen wiper off the back of a stupid souped-up VW Golf that nearly ran me over on my bike in Bethnal Green, and whose occupants laughed and made gestures when I tried to remonstrate with them. The screams of outrage as I cycled off are still music to my ears.

Farted on a pamphlet about Jesus that wife's religious co-workers kept lying around the office to 'spark conversation'.

Voted for George Galloway twice. (I'd definitely feel bad about it now, but they were different times).



Blinder Data

#18
Aged about ten, went on a fairground ride with my lil sis. It was swinging us about and she was clattering into me every time, hurting us both. Stuck my elbow out so her sides rammed into that, only hurting her.

A sensible choice.

PlanktonSideburns

Watched a mate complete a jigsaw, write the words

JIGSAWS R 4 CUNTS

On it, then returned it to the charity shop


Cuntbeaks

Stole a load of communion hosts from a Chapel when i was an altar boy. Popped some in a dog egg outside said Chapel and it looked like a cursed ice cream with wafers in.

And yes, it was a Sunda(e)y

Dex Sawash


SteveDave

Quote from: kngen on November 07, 2019, 02:27:07 PM
Lots and lots of shoplifting when I was on the dole and skint.

My wife has started shoplifting without remorse. It started as an accident but now she's actively going out to get stuff.

Yesterday she came home with pants for our son and 2 new bras that she'd put in the top bit of the boy's buggy in Sainsbury's. She said they're too expensive and she'd spent £35 on other shopping so it was fine. I'm not too sure though.

Icehaven

Quote from: SteveDave on November 08, 2019, 11:55:36 AM
My wife has started shoplifting without remorse. It started as an accident but now she's actively going out to get stuff.

Yesterday she came home with pants for our son and 2 new bras that she'd put in the top bit of the boy's buggy in Sainsbury's. She said they're too expensive and she'd spent £35 on other shopping so it was fine. I'm not too sure though.

See I wouldn't shoplift but if I was going to this is exactly how I'd do it, do a fair amount of shopping but bung a few extras (not even the most expensive items) through without scanning them. I'd still feel the pleasure of getting a few free things but I'd be less worried about being caught than if I was just trying to walk out without buying anything or buying a bag of crisps with a nice bottle of gin stuffed in my pocket. But I wouldn't, I'd be convinced I'd been spotted and look guilty as sin, and besides they have those screens on self-service checkout monitoring you now.

Just advise your wife to never steal anything she doesn't actually have the means on her to buy as otherwise she can't even pretend she just forgot about it.

Paul Calf

Quote from: SteveDave on November 08, 2019, 11:55:36 AM
My wife has started shoplifting without remorse. It started as an accident but now she's actively going out to get stuff.

Yesterday she came home with pants for our son and 2 new bras that she'd put in the top bit of the boy's buggy in Sainsbury's. She said they're too expensive and she'd spent £35 on other shopping so it was fine. I'm not too sure though.


If she's not helped out of it, she'll carry on until she gets caught. Seriously, try to get to the root of why she's doing it.

Ambient Sheep

Yeah, this.  Because she will get caught.  At the risk of sounding a bit pompous, this is unhealthy behaviour and might well indicate that something else is up... for example perhaps an unfulfilled need for attention?  Or even just that she's feeling too skint to be able to do the shopping properly.

You need to talk.

Twed

What, fuck that, get her to nick something better.

Kryton


Dropped a pint glass full of hideous fluids of left-over beer, ashtray ash and various deliberately collected multi-coloured alco-pops all over a skinhead steroid wanker who'd thrown a guy out of his wheelchair. Meant to. All over his expensive skin-tight white shirt. At the time I'd wished I was big enough to knock him out, but I settled for ruining his night with a gentle push of a pint glass above his thick head from the conveniently placed shelf behind him and then as soon as I saw it hit the back of his neck I basically left the club and ran home. The short of this is I'd been on my way to have a piss in the bogs and witnessed this cunt basically approach some dude in a wheelchair, grab it from the bottom and then toss him out. I genuinely thought maybe it's some weird but playful banter between mates, but a few other people helped the man in the wheelchair and I asked him if he was okay and did he know that guy? He said he's never met him in his life, so I in my own cowardly way decided it was that  cuntfuck skinhead guy would suffer.

Disclaimer: it didn't smash just spilt shitty stuff on him and hopefully ruined his night.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: touchingcloth on November 07, 2019, 02:12:14 PM
Threw an open carton of bad soup into a stationary convertible.

Threw a hot lemon drink across several rows of empty cinema seats whilst watching Without a Clue.