Obliging Nigel

[Pink Gregory]

"oh, is that you Obligin' Nige?  Sorry mate I was just using your driveway as a temporary grave for my greyhound team."

"that's alright mate, the more the merrier!"

[NJ Uncut]

Nigel gets home to find his wife being railed by five massive lads, one in mouth, one in fanny, one up arse and she's wanking two off in some frenzied pornographic balancing act. A sixth is on his way round as her tits don't have a cock betwixt 'em YET.

"Oh my god!" Nigel exclaims. "So sorry I interrupted - just need my reading glasses from the bedside table. Oh god, I'm so rude.. I'll bring up some coffees in an hour."

[NJ Uncut]

Nigel hands his wallet to a young man in a hooded jacket.

'Fucks this mate?"

" Oh, just don't want any trouble!"  Nigel sings, prancing off into the night.

[Pink Gregory]

Nigel walks through the town centre on his saturday errands.

He encounters a charity fundraiser.

Returns home in the nude.

[Glebe]

"Alright Nige, you couldn't give us the shirt off your back, could you?"

Nigel ends up with hypothermia.

[Glebe]

CAMILLA PARKER BOWLES: Here Nige, I ain't steppin' in that muddy puddle!

OBLIGING NIGEL: I will lie in it and you can walk on me, Lady Parker Bowles.

BOWLES: Cheers mate... (fucking oik.)