Author Topic: No Xmas for Jihadi John  (Read 703 times)

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
No Xmas for Jihadi John
« on: November 09, 2019, 06:36:28 PM »
Saw this in Big Work, just... flummoxed. The poster next to it was "good news: the terrorism threat level has been reduced from 'severe' to 'substantial!"

.. with the disclaimer that "substantial" means an attack "is likely". Goody goody gumdrops.

 


So is it ACT - or CDT?

Anyway, thought you might like to know that terrorists are only LIKELY to ruin your Xmas! Not defo nailed on.

Report anyone not celebrating.

Counter-terrorism and Christmas, together at last!
« Last Edit: November 09, 2019, 07:00:57 PM by NJ Uncut »

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2019, 06:57:04 PM »
The status was lowered to help the tories in the election - in reality the level is Low

Twed

  • What, prick? That's my child. My Johnson's child
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2019, 06:59:33 PM »
I was so upset that I cried all the way to the government

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2019, 07:02:29 PM »
The status was lowered to help the tories in the election - in reality the level is Low

Anyone who, on the basis of the terrorist thread lowering to merely "likely", finds this - this! - is the good news that pushes them to finally vote Tory, needs to be terrorised

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2019, 07:03:13 PM »
Anyone who, on the basis of the terrorist thread lowering to merely "likely", finds this - this! - is the good news that pushes them to finally vote Tory, needs to be terrorised

This post has just raised level to “imminent”

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2019, 07:03:51 PM »
This post has just raised level to “imminent”

And it's not even Easter!

Kryton

  • (Not) An actual threat to humanity.
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2019, 07:04:53 PM »
I'm delighted that there's only a substantial chance I might die.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2019, 07:08:25 PM »
Jihadi John got exploded and he didn't celebrate Christmas anyway.

Cardenio I

  • Hasta la muerte, todo es vida
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2019, 07:10:19 PM »
Shit innit. At least in the movies dystopias looked fuckin tits. The art direction on reality is wank.

shiftwork2

  • Member
  • **
  • mince pies this is your time
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2019, 07:19:11 PM »
Read it as 'Communists Defeat Terrorism', what a let-down on the re-read.

I would like to wish all the readers of this post a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  In the words of Tiny Tim, God bless us every one and keep safe x

Gurke and Hare

  • Fold water. Roll into small cubes.
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #10 on: November 09, 2019, 07:34:37 PM »
See it, say it, turkey.

icehaven

  • Please don't hi five people in Tamworth
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #11 on: November 09, 2019, 07:52:39 PM »
We had to do a ludicrous online training course to do with this, which was aimed at people working in publically accessible places (even though my workplace isn't) and I can confirm it was so shit you could do it in half an hour with the sound turned down only half paying attention and still get a little printable certificate at the end that proves you're now apparently trained in terrorism prevention.  I know it's only arse covering but it's still a massive waste of work time that I could have spent on CaB.

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #12 on: November 09, 2019, 08:08:17 PM »
See it, say it, turkey.

So not only are we likely to be blown up, but we have to be grasses as well?!

Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #13 on: November 09, 2019, 09:20:21 PM »
see it
say it
fucked off

Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #14 on: November 09, 2019, 09:49:05 PM »
Your names are all going on the Festive List.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #15 on: November 09, 2019, 11:38:22 PM »
Just like artificially setting interest rates at zero I wondered what the value was of setting the terror threat level at ceiling height forever. What they ask the public to do and how to behave is ridiculous.

Default to the negative

  • outspoken diva
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #16 on: November 10, 2019, 12:58:20 AM »
Last Christmas, I launched a jihad
But the very next day you gave it away.
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special— speshul.

Last Christmas, vowed a fatwa,
But the very next day you gave it away.
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special— speshul.

Once bitten and twice shy,
A spicy shawarma, my oh my.
But you still catch my eye
Tell me, baby
Do you recognize me?
Well, it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
(Merry Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying, ‘Allahu akbar,’ I meant it.
Now, I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd Jew me again.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away.
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special— speshul.

Last Christmas…