Author Topic: No Xmas for Jihadi John  (Read 926 times)

NJ Uncut

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No Xmas for Jihadi John
« on: November 09, 2019, 06:36:28 PM »
Saw this in Big Work, just... flummoxed. The poster next to it was "good news: the terrorism threat level has been reduced from 'severe' to 'substantial!"

.. with the disclaimer that "substantial" means an attack "is likely". Goody goody gumdrops.

 


So is it ACT - or CDT?

Anyway, thought you might like to know that terrorists are only LIKELY to ruin your Xmas! Not defo nailed on.

Report anyone not celebrating.

Counter-terrorism and Christmas, together at last!
« Last Edit: November 09, 2019, 07:00:57 PM by NJ Uncut »

BlodwynPig

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Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2019, 06:57:04 PM »
The status was lowered to help the tories in the election - in reality the level is Low

Twed

  • What, prick? That's my child. My Johnson's child
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2019, 06:59:33 PM »
I was so upset that I cried all the way to the government

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2019, 07:02:29 PM »
The status was lowered to help the tories in the election - in reality the level is Low

Anyone who, on the basis of the terrorist thread lowering to merely "likely", finds this - this! - is the good news that pushes them to finally vote Tory, needs to be terrorised

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2019, 07:03:13 PM »
Anyone who, on the basis of the terrorist thread lowering to merely "likely", finds this - this! - is the good news that pushes them to finally vote Tory, needs to be terrorised

This post has just raised level to “imminent”

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2019, 07:03:51 PM »
This post has just raised level to “imminent”

And it's not even Easter!

Kryton

  • Disregard the Constabulary
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2019, 07:04:53 PM »
I'm delighted that there's only a substantial chance I might die.

Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2019, 07:08:25 PM »
Jihadi John got exploded and he didn't celebrate Christmas anyway.

Cardenio I

  • Hasta la muerte, todo es vida
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2019, 07:10:19 PM »
Shit innit. At least in the movies dystopias looked fuckin tits. The art direction on reality is wank.

shiftwork2

  • pies this is your time
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2019, 07:19:11 PM »
Read it as 'Communists Defeat Terrorism', what a let-down on the re-read.

I would like to wish all the readers of this post a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  In the words of Tiny Tim, God bless us every one and keep safe x

Gurke and Hare

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Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #10 on: November 09, 2019, 07:34:37 PM »
See it, say it, turkey.

icehaven

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Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #11 on: November 09, 2019, 07:52:39 PM »
We had to do a ludicrous online training course to do with this, which was aimed at people working in publically accessible places (even though my workplace isn't) and I can confirm it was so shit you could do it in half an hour with the sound turned down only half paying attention and still get a little printable certificate at the end that proves you're now apparently trained in terrorism prevention.  I know it's only arse covering but it's still a massive waste of work time that I could have spent on CaB.

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #12 on: November 09, 2019, 08:08:17 PM »
See it, say it, turkey.

So not only are we likely to be blown up, but we have to be grasses as well?!

Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #13 on: November 09, 2019, 09:20:21 PM »
see it
say it
fucked off

Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #14 on: November 09, 2019, 09:49:05 PM »
Your names are all going on the Festive List.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #15 on: November 09, 2019, 11:38:22 PM »
Just like artificially setting interest rates at zero I wondered what the value was of setting the terror threat level at ceiling height forever. What they ask the public to do and how to behave is ridiculous.

Re: No Xmas for Jihadi John
« Reply #16 on: November 10, 2019, 12:58:20 AM »
Last Christmas, I launched a jihad
But the very next day you gave it away.
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special— speshul.

Last Christmas, vowed a fatwa,
But the very next day you gave it away.
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special— speshul.

Once bitten and twice shy,
A spicy shawarma, my oh my.
But you still catch my eye
Tell me, baby
Do you recognize me?
Well, it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
(Merry Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying, ‘Allahu akbar,’ I meant it.
Now, I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd Jew me again.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away.
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special— speshul.

Last Christmas…

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