Author Topic: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?  (Read 9588 times)

Mister Six

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Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #30 on: December 19, 2019, 12:31:45 PM »
You are correct. It probably didn't help that I read it in the voice of Max Bygraves.

Re: Bradshaw. One of the few critics (and indeed only a handful of journalists) I've ever worked with who gets edit approval (so his stuff would get subbed, PDFs emailed to him, then he'd phone up and argue the toss over every little comma that had been added or removed as deadline fast approached.) Sometimes there's be some really dodgy stuff that he'd dig in and refuse to budge about - like quotes of dialogue in foreign accents that he'd write out phonetically that just wouldn't fly anywhere else in the paper (or the civilised world, for that matter). These arguments could go back and forth for hours. Nowadays, the Culture desk is so over-worked and understaffed they probably have no option but to wave his stuff through because to do anything else would take too much time, hence stuff like that Frozen review.

He's actually a quite pleasant and genial bloke away from work, but dealing with him professionally … yeesh.

I had someone like this on a magazine I used to edit. I'd seen the terror inflicted upon the subs when I was dep ed, so the first thing I did upon promotion was fire her and hire someone who wasn't, professionally speaking, a monster. It's the one time I've laid someone off without feeling like dogshit.

In journalism you can get away with having any two of the following: sparkling prose, an easygoing nature or the ability to hit deadlines. People like Bradshaw, who only tick one box, need to get the boot, for everyone's sake.

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #31 on: December 19, 2019, 12:34:42 PM »
It would maybe be easier to take if it did have some genuinely interesting opinions but in reality they just follow whichever way the wind is blowing and general push towards self contentment.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Frightening Times. Stay Safe, Everyone.
Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #32 on: December 19, 2019, 12:45:05 PM »
I like that He's used the phrase  "bell end" in his review. I don't think Philip French ever did that.

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #33 on: December 19, 2019, 01:58:47 PM »
Lemonade was a popular drink, and it still is
The cast of Cats doesn't include Bruce Willis

icehaven

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Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #34 on: December 20, 2019, 12:51:27 PM »
That poem review is absolutely the worst thing I've read in the Guardian in years (and Eva Wiseman still writes for them).

Francesca Hayward’s the thesp with this role,
She’s sleek, unlike Corden – well known for TV chat

What the what??

DukeDeMondo

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Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #35 on: December 21, 2019, 02:52:44 AM »
I've hated him - as a critic, I mean; as others have said, he appears a perfectly likeable, passionate sort otherwise  - ever since his review of Hostel, in which he not only misinterpreted the film to an embarrassing degree, but also make some snobby sneering remarks about the film's confused (in his view) grasp of geography and things like this, even though it was clearly the point that the protagonists were totally ignorant, not the film. He said something along the lines of "if only these errors had been intentional, and this had been some sort of satire on American boorishness abroad." Which is exactly what the fucking film is. It could hardly be more explicit. But because it was a genre film released at the time it was released, Bradshaw refused to recognise this and other, more subversive digs at Americans marching across European cities filled with individuals and experiences that they set about consuming like a crowd of famished drunks clattering through a McDonalds at 4 in the morning. And then they in turn are consumed. That was the fucking point. I suspect he was half watching it, missing the point by miles, but assuming his audience would agree with him anyway, for come on, how many of them were actually going to see it?

Fuck that, and fuck our man Bradshaw. That's what I say.

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #36 on: December 21, 2019, 02:55:03 AM »
His review of Drive contained a criticism that made it obvious he'd completely misinterpreted a basic plot point, and they updated the article with a correction.

I sort of feel sorry for him in that regard though. His understanding of the plot was based on his interpretation of the film as he saw it, and it's kind of his job to report that interpretation. He clearly didn't find that bit of the plot clear so fine.

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #37 on: December 21, 2019, 06:00:13 PM »
I remember his review of This is England where he said:

Quote
Combo's hate campaign [...] which goes quite unchallenged or even unremarked upon by any of the skins, good or bad.

The challenge to Combo's campaign is literally the entire plot, and point, of the film. And it's not like Meadows soft-soaps it. There's literally a scene where Combo draws a line on the ground.

It was at this point I started to wonder whether PB might actually be quite thick.

Cardenio I

  • Hasta la muerte, todo es vida
Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #38 on: December 22, 2019, 01:04:43 AM »
Don't forget his review of Schindler's List:

Quote
And yet, as the atrocities accumulate, you are still left with the disorienting sense of not knowing who to root for. Spielberg presents these images as fact, but without any obvious morality either way I goose-stepped out of the cinema wavering on whether Ralph Fiennes' Amon Girth was really all that good of a guy.

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #39 on: December 22, 2019, 09:53:20 AM »
He sounds like a right dumb fuck.

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #40 on: December 22, 2019, 08:25:13 PM »
Lol at this thread, had a running thing for years now of looking up Bradshaw's review of a film I liked (or hated) to see how badly wrong he'd got it. I know film enjoyment is subjective and opinion but this guy is so off in some of his reviews it's mental.

This is the one that made me first notice, not because he didn't like it but because he just so bizarrely missed the entire point of the film. Suspect he didn't actually watch it, just fast forwarded through it to meet a deadline.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/feb/19/kumiko-the-treasure-hunter-review

Twit 2

  • Fuck me, Graham!
Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #41 on: February 10, 2020, 10:24:40 PM »
Quote
Its narrative engine hums with the luxurious smoothness of the Mercedes-Benz that one character is fatefully given the chance to drive.


kngen

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Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #42 on: February 11, 2020, 01:51:39 PM »
I had someone like this on a magazine I used to edit. I'd seen the terror inflicted upon the subs when I was dep ed, so the first thing I did upon promotion was fire her and hire someone who wasn't, professionally speaking, a monster. It's the one time I've laid someone off without feeling like dogshit.


I missed this first time round, but, sir, I salute your indefatigabilty.

Quote
In journalism you can get away with having any two of the following: sparkling prose, an easygoing nature or the ability to hit deadlines. People like Bradshaw, who only tick one box, need to get the boot, for everyone's sake.

There are quite a stunning amount of Graun critics - especially in the more niche subjects - who tick none of those boxes, but - despite repeated interventions from all quarters - still get work because commissioning editors are some of the laziest cunts on earth. I could weep for the poor bastards (for I used to be one of them) who would submit unsolicited pieces in the hope that it might - just somehow - wriggle through the gaps and get to the right person, because I know that they haven't got a chance in hell compared to some barely literate sociopath who just happens to be pals with the section head, and can be called upon to submit 900 words of gibberish because - Oops! - the latter has a hole in their page which they forgot to fill the night before. Ah, but dont worry, the subs will sort it out! Arseholes.

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #43 on: February 13, 2020, 11:15:09 AM »
I'm sure the new Doolittle is even worse than Bradshaw says, but surely mocking disabled people is contrary to Guardian policy (comparing Downey Jr to a stroke victim)?

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/feb/07/dolittle-review-robert-downey-jr

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #44 on: March 09, 2020, 09:23:12 AM »
Thread crossover; he described the first Peter Rabbit as "a sassy live-action animation like Babe or Alvin and the Chipmunks".

That famously crass sequence in Babe where he breakdanced to the duck's freestyle rap still haunts Peter 25 years later.

buttgammon

  • How thick is wall?
Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #45 on: March 09, 2020, 01:44:27 PM »
The culture section of The Grauniad is truly awful, and always completely wrong about everything. The reviews are dreadful, so I don't read much of this guy's stuff, but I'm almost getting Stuart Heritage vibes here.

Puce Moment

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Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #46 on: March 09, 2020, 01:48:21 PM »
Bradshaw is perfect if you need someone to be your binary opposition.

5 stars? Give it a miss.

1 star with an accompanying confused review? Pre-order tickets now!

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #47 on: March 09, 2020, 01:53:52 PM »
I will say I broadly agreed with his two-star Life of Pi review.

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #48 on: March 09, 2020, 01:57:42 PM »
I mean, they're critics, who gives a shit? One of the least important jobs in the world. Proper Golgafrinchan B Ark fodder.

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #49 on: March 13, 2020, 09:16:00 PM »
I don’t think Bradshaw is anything like as bad as Guardian restaurant critic Grace Dent. Example:

Quote
The chef at Bank House in Chislehurst is called Bobby Brown, which is the type of news that is like catnip to me. “I don’t think it’s the actual Bobby Brown, king of new jack swing, Grace,” Charles said wearily.

“It could be,” I argued. “Maybe he got tired of all that humpin’ around.”

“This Bobby Brown does flat iron steak with marrowbone and Marmite,” Charles said, ignoring me.

“Well, that’s his prerogative,” I gasped, by now weak with mirth.

neveragain

  • like those swamp tar pits that bubble and go Gloop
Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #50 on: March 14, 2020, 12:59:51 AM »
Christ. They sound a hoot.

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #51 on: March 16, 2020, 10:20:31 AM »
Grace Dent famous as the only vegan food critic (who eats meat to see what it tastes like but probably spits it out or something).

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #52 on: March 16, 2020, 11:32:39 AM »
Grace Dent famous as the only vegan food critic (who eats meat to see what it tastes like but probably spits it out or something).

A vegan food critic sounds like a decent idea to me. A critic who can't write doesn't

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #53 on: March 16, 2020, 11:39:10 AM »
The only film critics that should still exist are Nigel Buckland and Stef Gardiner.

AllisonSays

  • disappointed bridge
Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #54 on: March 17, 2020, 12:36:47 PM »
The only one I read is Richard Brody, who just gets me, which is weird cos we have very different lives. Bradshaw is genuinely a really horrible, incoherent, banal writer, up there with the all-time champ Sam Wollaston.

gilbertharding

  • Not even the rudest man in the Beatles
Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #55 on: March 17, 2020, 02:48:52 PM »
I don’t think Bradshaw is anything like as bad as Guardian restaurant critic Grace Dent. Example:

Quote from: Grace Dent
“Well, that’s his prerogative,” I wished I'd said, after googling the Bobby Brown discography later.

Also... I know 'how to write' guides are bunk, but "...I gasped"? No: you 'said', please.


Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #56 on: March 17, 2020, 02:49:57 PM »


Also... I know 'how to write' guides are bunk, but "...I gasped"? No: you 'said', please.

That's half the fucking horror of it! All the fucking said verbs and adverbs. It's grotesque.

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #57 on: March 18, 2020, 10:05:46 AM »
Quote
Fillet of plaice sits in a buttery sauce flecked with beetroot and minutely diced parmesan. Again, in the wrong hands this could be vile, but by this point I trusted chef Bobby Brown implicitly.

Top tip from Dent here, it's all so clear now, food in the wrong hands can come out bad, and food cooked by great chefs can be delicious!!!!!!!!! We've all been getting food wrong forever, but Grace Dent has saved our mouths and wallets, when I've eaten food cooked by good cooks I could never put my finger on why it was nice, or when I ate a mashed rat fermenting in piss down an alley cooked by a man who had been in a coma since birth, it tasted a bit off.

"The bukkake was smooth,salty and silky, served with truffle shavings, mint and quails eggs. Again in the wrong hands this could be vile,but by this point I trusted the Bang Bros implicitly ".

king_tubby

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Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #58 on: March 18, 2020, 10:49:55 AM »
Grace Dent is fucking woeful. Before becoming a restaurant critic she wrote articles boasting about how she wasn't bothered about food.

Her reviews are always along the lines of: this restaurant is in *place* Google *place* cut and paste from Google I ate the food it was nice/pooey depending on if they recognised me or not.

You'd hope she'd be embarrassed with her drivel placed next to Rayner's reviews.

Re: Pete Bradshaw - WHAT IS THERE TO BE DONE?
« Reply #59 on: March 18, 2020, 12:08:30 PM »
Rayner's all right but I wish he'd stop doing this:


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