Gone and went vegan didn't I

[alan nagsworth]

Watched the first episode of Seven Worlds, One Planet and cried myself inside out watching the poor fuckin albatross chick falling out its nest. Just could not fathom it. We've done that, effectively. Fuckin state of us. I've been meat free for a couple years now but have been idly considering going vegan for a while - too long I'd say - and sometimes what it takes is one isolated thing to push you over the edge. Watched that fluffy little mess of an animal and its pigshit-thick parent sat there failing to recognise it and that was it. Fuck this, no more albatross eggs for me!

Anyway yeah, been two weeks now. Fucking easy, mate. Just cut cheese out and accept you can't eat certain biscuits any more. Piece of piss. That's veganism DONE, what's next to be absolutely SLAMMED by me? The world's full of absolute melts who can't be arsed, it's literally the easiest thing I've ever done. Easier than getting a boner. Easier than looking at something like a wall or tree. THANK U, NEXT!

Are you also a vegan, aka someone who is better than basically everyone else? How do you feel about it? Amazing, I bet. I go in the shop and I fancy some crisps. Have a look at the ingredients on the back. Been enjoying cool original Doritos since forever but now I can't eat them. NO PROBLEM, DON'T CARE. Crush the bag in my hand, it pops open and the shattered crumbs of death tumble to the floor and an albatross soars in and sucks my dick. Fucking boss, the world lives for an extra couple of days because of me. Yesss.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I laughed

[gib]

aldi had fake blue doritos recently with no milk in them

[bgmnts]

I'm vegan yeah most of the time. Its not easy but worth it.

[kittens]

i became vegan 6 weeks ago, which is 4 weeks better than you. it is easy. gained so much fuqin weight doing it though. i'm literally just eating loaves of bread for every meal. fuck cooking.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

It's OK mate you can mix it up, eg toast for breakfast and for dinner pizza with rubbish cheese substitute.

[Pink Gregory]

Makes shopping more interesting and you'd be surprised at my stance on cheese on pizza.

2 years and those are my conclusions.

[blindtonydinton]

My girlfriend has been vegan for fifteen years and I've never used Facebook.

Fuck you Alan.

[idunnosomename]

If you are vegan can you suck eggs if you dont swallow

[Glebe]

I was vegetarian for four years, found it quite hard as I have always been a picky eater (not half as bad now actually, though). Saw vegan choc Advent calendars in me local Lidl yesterday - this crazy 'vegan' thing is really catching on now!

[LynnBenfield69]

Hellman's vegan mayonnaise is something to behold. As is Swedish Glace ice cream.

[Sin Agog]

Hellman's vegan mayonnaise is something to behold. As is Swedish Glace ice cream.

On a whim I tried adding some smushed mint Oreos and peanut butter to that Vanilla Glace stuff yesterday, and it's at least as good as any Benjamin&Jeremiah's.

[seepage]

apparently you can still have oysters, but I don't like oysters.

A couple of local vegetarian restaurants have jumped on the bandwagon and now gone full vegan, and as most dishes contain fake cheese which makes me gag, there's virtually nothing on the menu I could eat.

I think macrobiotic is the way to go, but if you level-up once too often you end up with just plain brown rice for your tea. 

[NoSleep]

apparently you can still have cows, but I don't like cows.

[Blue Jam]

apparently you can still have oysters, but I don't like oysters.

I love that idea that it's alright to eat oysters because they can't feel pain or fear or comprehend death. I love the idea of being able to stay vegan if you only eat stupid animals. Could I be vegan if I still eat Pomeranians?

Is there a name for a person who only eats animals that are complete dicks? I could eat a seagull and not feel any guilt.

[Blue Jam]

Anyway, good on you nags, I long ago renounced Dairy milk for plant milk and as I type I am proving some coconut bread made with coconut flour and Alpro coconut. Quite excited to see how it turns out.

Going to have it toasted with a nice bit of butter though, I'm not a masochist.

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

I would die of Oreo poisoning.

[shiftwork2]

I love that idea that it's alright to eat oysters because they can't feel pain or fear or comprehend death.

A friend used to determine this by the presence of a functioning spinal cord, or not.  So Christopher Reeve was ok to put in a stew.

[seepage]

I love that idea that it's alright to eat oysters because they can't feel pain or fear or comprehend death. I love the idea of being able to stay vegan if you only eat stupid animals.

I think it's because they don't have a face, not because they're stupid.

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

A friend used to determine this by the presence of a functioning spinal cord, or not.  So Christopher Reeve was ok to put in a stew.

That's a nice idea, a Lib Dem casserole sounds absolutely delish.

[Blue Jam]

I think it's because they don't have a face, not because they're stupid.

There's even more to it than that:

https://www.theguardian.com/food/2019/sep/27/are-oysters-vegan-kitchen-aide

As well as them lacking spinal cords and faces, farming oysters is apparently actually good for the environment.

[alan nagsworth]

My biggest concern going into this was the every day activities I cherish so much like smoking weed and rimming, are they vegan? Can I still do those? And it turns out after a couple of hours of researching I've learned that yes, I can, it's totally fine! One website even suggested I "fill my boots", so long as the boots weren't leather and instead were made of some sort of plant-based substitute like banana peels. That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the good of the planet.

[alan nagsworth]

Basically I think the worst thing about it is that deforestation to make rizlas is not ideal but they're only small. I could probably smoke an entire lifetimes worth of spliffs from just one tree and I'd have to be going at it pretty bloody hard as well!

[Jockice]

I'm on the vegan milk now but my stumbling point is cheese. I do have two blocks of it in the fridge and will eat it at some point but I have some real grated stuff and some babybels. I went to Pizza Express last Christmas and had a lovely vegan cheese pizza but they seem to have stopped making them. Boo! I also eat normal yogurts. I do have some vegan ones as well but they're limited to two flavours and I like a bit of variety.

[Lost Oliver]

Vegan fish fingers are class. And Tesco have this non-meat section now that has tasty shit in there like two big fuck off sausages.

[alan nagsworth]

Yeah I am looking forward to when veganism is normalised a bit more to the point where the specialist products aren't batshit expensive. £5 for a jar of vegan mayo, nah you're alright I'll just not eat it. Even if it is excellently replicated and fucking delish.

The fake cheese Papa John's uses on their pizzas is pretty good although my partner doesn't like it. To be honest I'm not really all that arsed about replacement alternatives though. Most of the time I am more than happy eating vegetables and stuff made in delicious sauces.

I do love seeing people get worked up about the fake stuff though. YOU CAN'T CALL IT VEGAN BACON, THATS ARE WORD. Yeah "veggie sausages" have existed forever cunt, just stop and have a think for five minutes.

[chveik]

I'm on the vegan milk now but my stumbling point is cheese. I do have two blocks of it in the fridge and will eat it at some point but I have some real grated stuff and some babybels. I went to Pizza Express last Christmas and had a lovely vegan cheese pizza but they seem to have stopped making them. Boo! I also eat normal yogurts. I do have some vegan ones as well but they're limited to two flavours and I like a bit of variety.

sure you did you sick fuck

[Jockice]

sure you did you sick fuck

Yeah. Then me and my mate Andy went straight home and didn't shag any underage girls.

[Jockice]

Vegan fish fingers are class. And Tesco have this non-meat section now that has tasty shit in there like two big fuck off sausages.

They are. And the fillets are even nicer.

Vegan mayo can (like any type of mayo) fuck right off though.

[thugler]

Good on yer nags, just replace everything with beans is the way, beans are fucking dope.