CHRISMTAS!!! Twenty and Nine Teen!!

[Jerzy Bondov]

Got onto the watching of the Christmas films already haven't I. I've decided that I have now watched all of the good Christmas films that have been made so now it's time to watch PURE SHITE.

Let It Snow (2019)
Kicked off with this Netflix Original starring Sabrina the Witch (not Melissa Joan Hart). Good looking young people having romantic adventures in the snow. A few different stories but guess what guys they all come together at the end! Here are they:

• Sabrina and her friend are just made for each other but they don't realise it, until they do at the end and they 'pash' (that's what my wife says, I think it means kissing)
• A famous music singer has got stranded in the town so he hangs around with a sarcastic girl and they pash
• A Harry Potter fan has history with another girl but when they meet up again the girl is rude to her, but they sort it out and they pash
• Some girl is annoyed with her boyfriend so she tells him to fuck right off, no pashing for her but she buys a pig
• Ned off Spider-Man is bald in this for some reason. He wants to do a party in his house but his parents say no so he does it at his work instead. He's trying to impress a girl but she doesn't show up. Because he's bald. No pashing for you BALDY. He says he's fine but he's not.
• Joan Cusack driving round in a truck

Home for Christmas (2014)
Watched about half of this but it isn't even set at Christmas. It's about a girl who works in an independent cinema in Brighton so as you would expect it's very good and interesting. For some reason it's all shot in close ups which makes it very claustrophobic and disorienting. Get it off.

Christmas in Love (2017)
Total Hallmark shite. This is a film where a millionaire CEO encourages the HR manager of a cake factory to quit her job and become a full time wreath maker, in a town where literally everything is already absolutely covered in wreathes. Totally sexless and chaste with zero chemistry between the leads until they actually pash, when they really go for it. Full smooch. Too much smooch. He's in town to have a look at the cake factory and see if he can replace all the people with robots but he decides not to in the end because she pashes fuck out him. Not a good way to run a business at all.

I'll watch more soon because what else am I going to do? Watch good films? No.

[Huxleys Babkins]

The great thing about the Hallmark Christmas TV movies is trying to work out which actors the cast look a little bit like. You can see why they do it. You're channel hopping and you think "Oh, that's Reese Witherspoon, I'll watch that". But let me assure you that it is not Reese Witherspoon, but merely a woman who looks a bit like Reese Witherspoon from a certain angle.

Very often they find actors who look a bit like multiple stars. Last year I watched a movie starring a woman who looked like The aforementioned Witherspoon, Jennifer Aniston and Catherine O'Hara all at the same time, chasing a man who looked like Christian Bale, Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey.

[Jerzy Bondov]

The bloke in Christmas in Love looks like a Lego man to make you think it's Lego Movie 2

[wooders1978]

Watched Groundhog Day (which amazon prime insists is a Christmas film) & "Klaus" the new animated Santa origin story on Netflix - I was tired and had a few wines but I teared up a couple of times

Onto my next one tonight - might do "the night before" - which looks fucking shite but I am sure it will be watchable

[BlodwynPig]

I prefer the hallmark movies and wish they were real and i could spend eternity waving hello to my neighbour in casual slacks with the warm glow of a roaring fire emanating from each house

[Mister Six]

The great thing about the Hallmark Christmas TV movies is trying to work out which actors the cast look a little bit like. You can see why they do it. You're channel hopping and you think "Oh, that's Reese Witherspoon, I'll watch that". But let me assure you that it is not Reese Witherspoon, but merely a woman who looks a bit like Reese Witherspoon from a certain angle.

You're not wrong. Look, it's Aimee Powler and Aleck Baldwynn!

[BlodwynPig]

Alecx Blodwyn

[Jerzy Bondov]

There's a bit in Christmas in Love where a family sits down for Christmas dinner and the dad says 'so we have a little tradition in our family. We go around the table and say what we're thankful for'

That's Thanksgiving you absolute dent, even I know that and I'm about as American as a school where nobody gets shot

[Huxleys Babkins]

You're not wrong. Look, it's Aimee Powler and Aleck Baldwynn!

Oh, that's superb. A Baldwin/Chris Evans hybrid starring opposite Witherspoon/Poehler. Touch of Brooke Shields in there too. Lovely stuff.

[Bad Ambassador]

I'd rather watch Christmas in Hove.

[Chollis]

You're not wrong. Look, it's Aimee Powler and Aleck Baldwynn!

He's surely not attractive enough to be the romantic lead in a Hollywood Hallmark Xmas blockbuster? Spooky looking cunt

edit: is that actually the lady from Orange is the New Black?

[Jerzy Bondov]

My wife was laughing at the shape of his head for most of the film. Very unpleasant woman frankly

[Inspector Norse]

Christmas in a wind tunnel

[BlodwynPig]

Cut scenes from that movie