Author Topic: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.  (Read 695 times)

Kryton

  • (Not) An actual threat to humanity.
Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« on: November 28, 2019, 08:21:42 PM »
Nice, funny, heartwarming stories or things please. Sick of arguing with cunts about Brexit now. I'm beginning to think it's affecting my mood/mental health.
Make me laugh please.

canadagoose

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  • lest we not forgot
Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2019, 08:26:10 PM »
Had a kebab tonight

PlanktonSideburns

  • be outta here in a jiffy
Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2019, 08:39:22 PM »
Is that the new Netflix and chill?

Anyone watched the Netflix series rilakuma and kaoru?

That was very nice

Small Man Big Horse

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  • Writers wanted for comedy website, pls click below
Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2019, 09:14:24 PM »
Struggling to think of any stories I haven't recently told, but here's a picture of my working environment.



And this is just for the french adults!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2019, 09:15:22 PM »
Your latest ringtones are selling really well mate, a lot to be upbeat about.

PlanktonSideburns

  • be outta here in a jiffy
Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2019, 10:35:53 PM »
What about some nice relaxing lowfi Borisbeats beats to help get - no wait, hangon ..

touchingcloth

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  • She is hot in the arse.
Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2019, 10:48:54 PM »
Mein Kampf

shiftwork2

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  • mince pies this is your time
Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2019, 11:17:23 PM »
Quote from: Simon Armitage
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth,
And spotted the perils beneath,
All the toffees I chewed,
And the sweet sticky food,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.

I wish I'd been that much more willin'
When I had more tooth there than fillin'
To pass up gobstoppers,
From respect to me choppers
And to buy something else with me shillin'.

When I think of the lollies I licked,
And the liquorice allsorts I picked,
Sherbet dabs, big and little,
All that hard peanut brittle,
My conscience gets horribly pricked.

My Mother, she told me no end,
"If you got a tooth, you got a friend"
I was young then, and careless,
My toothbrush was hairless,
I never had much time to spend.

Oh I showed them the toothpaste all right,
I flashed it about late at night,
But up-and-down brushin'
And pokin' and fussin'
Didn't seem worth the time... I could bite!

If I'd known I was paving the way,
To cavities, caps and decay,
The murder of fiIlin's
Injections and drillin's
I'd have thrown all me sherbet away.

So I lay in the old dentist's chair,
And I gaze up his nose in despair,
And his drill it do whine,
In these molars of mine,
"Two amalgum," he'll say, "for in there."

How I laughed at my Mother's false teeth,
As they foamed in the waters beneath,
But now comes the reckonin'
It's me they are beckonin'
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth.

chveik

  • I will monetize your eyeballs
Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #8 on: November 28, 2019, 11:18:39 PM »
cookdandbombd.co.uk

touchingcloth

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Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #9 on: November 28, 2019, 11:25:51 PM »
Quote
Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there--on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known.


pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets

Default to the negative

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Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #11 on: November 28, 2019, 11:33:33 PM »
Does a laughing Nicolas Cage tickle your fancy?


Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #12 on: November 28, 2019, 11:53:28 PM »
Generous Seagull's memoirs.

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,73994.msg3884146.html#msg3884146

I’d somehow missed those. Glebe, if you’re reading, you are a fackin treasure, son, a TREASURE

Kryton

  • (Not) An actual threat to humanity.
Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #13 on: November 29, 2019, 12:16:30 AM »
Thanks everyone. Glebe's stuff reassured me that all is well.


gib

  • weak and wobbly
Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #14 on: November 29, 2019, 12:23:26 AM »
[YouTube]The Day Today - It's Alright [/YouTube]


Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #16 on: November 29, 2019, 12:29:51 AM »
Thanks everyone. Glebe's stuff reassured me that all is well.

Good stuff, Kryton.

Glebe

  • Even if it's ovah d'fown!
Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2019, 06:34:21 AM »
Generous Seagull's memoirs.

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,73994.msg3884146.html#msg3884146

Thanks everyone. Glebe's stuff reassured me that all is well.

Aw, thanks lads. Sadly, Generous was another of 2019's celeb casualties, but he brought joy and laughter wheresoever he flew. In any case, hope y'feeling a little more chipper today Kryton!

Glebe

  • Even if it's ovah d'fown!
Re: Need nice things to read. Brexit and shit is hurting my soul.
« Reply #18 on: December 03, 2019, 04:50:05 AM »