Author Topic: Plumbers  (Read 544 times)

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Plumbers
« on: November 29, 2019, 08:52:48 PM »
Are you allowed to plumb them into a cistern, pry their mouths open and use them as a toilet in lieu of the actual toilet they were meant to put in fucking DAYS ago?

Asking for a friend

?

Re: Plumbers
« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2019, 08:57:48 PM »
Who are the laziest cuntiest tradesmen going? I think you should get a poll going.

Seriously why can't we just outsource all this kind of work to the Polish and keep the British well away?

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2019, 09:01:13 PM »
Definitely should have gone Polish. This guy is a slack sack of shit. Didn't turn up one day because he was 'hungover', managed to break our old toilet on the first day, then came back in the evening PISSED to try and hook it up again so we could at least use a bucket to flush it, now it leaks piss everywhere.

Never answers his phone.

How justified legally would I be if I said 'right, come round and put the toilet in NOW or we're deducting nights spent at hotels from your final bill [you complete and utter TWAT]'

Re: Plumbers
« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2019, 09:03:45 PM »
Definitely should have gone Polish. This guy is a slack sack of shit. Didn't turn up one day because he was 'hungover', managed to break our old toilet on the first day, then came back in the evening PISSED to try and hook it up again so we could at least use a bucket to flush it, now it leaks piss everywhere.

People would know better than me but you can surely get your money back and get a different trader in. That's got to be against policy to turn up drunk.

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2019, 09:06:26 PM »
It was at about 8pm, after he'd tried to get a plumber to come out but couldn't get through to anyone.

Still a cunt.

kittens

  • kittens
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • don't have a cow man
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #5 on: November 29, 2019, 09:14:10 PM »
how about an entirely red plumber who kind of absorbs a special flower that allows him to blast a red ball of energy from his chest and into a small green tortoise?

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #6 on: November 29, 2019, 09:17:32 PM »
Yes, ok. Do you have a number or email address for this plumber?

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

  • Nothing is ever as good or bad as you think.
    • http://www.last.fm/user/georgethebadger/
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2019, 09:19:16 PM »
Roofers are the worst.

touchingcloth

  • Member
  • **
  • She is hot in the arse.
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2019, 09:19:34 PM »
After several plumbers got on my last nerve, I learned that plumbing is actually a piece of piss you can do for yourself. All you need is a pipe cutter in the correct diameter and to know where the stopcock is.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #9 on: November 29, 2019, 09:26:20 PM »
There's no point talking to them either, because they're deaf.

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #10 on: November 29, 2019, 09:29:00 PM »
I just want to have a shit

Re: Plumbers
« Reply #11 on: November 29, 2019, 09:53:29 PM »
Comes from the Ancient Greek, plumbum, yuk yuk

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #12 on: November 29, 2019, 10:02:02 PM »
It's Latin you massive bell.

Default to the negative

  • outspoken diva
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #13 on: November 29, 2019, 10:04:32 PM »
Plumbers? Literal jobbie-jabbers.

My granddad was a plumber and I had no respect for the man. When he got a call from a customer, he would put on a pretentious 'telephone voice', cooing them with his ma-darlings and ma-dears. As though he wasn't just someone who unclogs U-bends for a living.

Re: Plumbers
« Reply #14 on: November 29, 2019, 10:08:59 PM »
Are you allowed to plumb them into a cistern, pry their mouths open and use them as a toilet in lieu of the actual toilet they were meant to put in fucking DAYS ago?

Asking for a friend

?

Water Lego, innit

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #15 on: November 29, 2019, 10:38:38 PM »
After several plumbers got on my last nerve, I learned that plumbing is actually a piece of piss you can do for yourself. All you need is a pipe cutter in the correct diameter and to know where the stopcock is.

This.  Plumbing in a toilet is a piece of piss, I've even done a pressurised hot water system using guesswork and the internet.

Default to the negative

  • outspoken diva
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #16 on: November 29, 2019, 11:00:04 PM »
Is there any job satisfaction in being a plumber?

'Ooh Mr. Default, there's a terrible blockage down there.'

'Don't worry Mrs. Miggins. Let me strap on my marigold gloves and sort this bad boy out!'

'Ooh, my hero!'

PlanktonSideburns

  • be outta here in a jiffy
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #17 on: November 29, 2019, 11:41:57 PM »
Who are the laziest cuntiest tradesmen going? I think you should get a poll going.

Seriously why can't we just outsource all this kind of work to the Polish and keep the British well away?

It's plumbers. Sorry it's always plumbers

Carpenters are best, then plasterers, then drystone wall

Default to the negative

  • outspoken diva
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #18 on: November 30, 2019, 12:05:18 AM »
Carpenters are best, then plasterers, then drystone wall

Would The Carpenters have enjoyed the same pop music success if they were called The Plumbers instead?

Glebe

  • Even if it's ovah d'fown!
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #19 on: November 30, 2019, 12:09:30 AM »
I heard the Mario Brothers are worth a punt.

Default to the negative

  • outspoken diva
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #20 on: November 30, 2019, 12:23:01 AM »
I heard the Mario Brothers are worth a punt.

Luigi doesn't even want to be in the Mario Brothers. He's striking out with his own franchise, chasing ghosts around his spooky mansions. He's trying to get away from that plumber image.

Re: Plumbers
« Reply #21 on: November 30, 2019, 12:25:00 AM »
got to plumb

Flatulent Fox

  • Cauliflower CheesR
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #22 on: November 30, 2019, 03:51:47 PM »
It's not one of those bogs with a built in sink is it?
Because those would drive anyone to drink too.

Also make sure he doesn't take a dump in your new toilet first - that would be bad etiquette in my books.

Edit:

Unless he insists he takes the first dump to test it out.



H-O-W-L

  • Front Toward Enemy
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #23 on: November 30, 2019, 04:16:17 PM »
Didn't turn up one day because he was 'hungover',

I'd have told him to fuck off then and there, not going to lie to you. Anyone who skimps out on work for a hangover (something you did to yourself) is quite the cunt. I understand sickness (probably better than most) but a hangover is no justification for banging off the day on work. Don't want to work with a hangover? Don't get muntered the day before work, or get less muntered. Or just take care of yourself and rehydrate properly. What a codpiece.

H-O-W-L

  • Front Toward Enemy
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #24 on: November 30, 2019, 04:20:02 PM »
And something as cozy as domestic plumbing, too? Fucking arsehole. I'd kill to trade any of my past hungover shifts in a supermarket or office for working a hungover plumbing shift. You get to be in someone's relatively warm bathroom doing some manual work instead of dealing with human beings. Might occasionally have to deal with Miss Biggins popping her head in to make sure you're not fucking the cat, but that'd be about it. And you get to charge out the arse. What an utter shitecunt

Re: Plumbers
« Reply #25 on: November 30, 2019, 04:23:23 PM »
Who are the laziest cuntiest tradesmen going?
My general report on our recent building project ("Oh, now, we won't fall into the embarrassing, naive, Grand Designs type pitfalls!"... instantly fall into them.)

Main building contractor: initially charming, then increasingly unreliable, blending in stories of violence, threatened violence "I'm going to go round there and break her fucking legs", recriminations, drink, drugs, domestic unrest "[His Wife] tried to kick me down the fucking stairs last night."

Main contractor's workforce: various. Mostly great, quite a lot of cocaine going on.  LOTS of Monster energy drinks.

Sparkie: Rude, heroically unreliable, still not been back to finish job 18 months on.

Brickies: Got the new end of the house out of the ground from foundations so deep that I could walk in and still be underground, onto block and brickwork, in one day.  (Looked close to death at the end of it though.)

Plasterers: Phenomenally good.  Quick, professional, expert, impressive.

Attic Roof Truss suppliers: "They're literally round the corner, it'll be good to support local businesses and people!"  Forgot to actually manufacture trusses and had to have contractor #2 standing in their workshops on the day of installation (with crane on site) shouting at them to do so.

Contractor #2: instantly fell out with contractor #1 "My guys were so upset with what they saw, some of them were close to tears."

[Back on topic] Plumber:  Do NOT let Contractor #1 handle the plumbing himself  "How hard can it be?!"

Cuellar

  • She was having sly love with a midnight creeper
Re: Plumbers
« Reply #26 on: December 01, 2019, 08:48:22 PM »
Update: turns out he didn't show on Friday because his infant son was in an accident and was comatose in the hospital so now I feel like a right CUNT.

Re: Plumbers
« Reply #27 on: December 01, 2019, 09:48:15 PM »
We wanted the front of the house painted last year so got this bloke in (on recommendation) to give us a quote. He turned up late stinking of booze (about three in the afternoon) and was definitely casing the house as he walked through to the kitchen for a chat. But I think the thing that really put me off using him was the fact he expected me to provide the fucking ladders.