Author Topic: Restaurants are shit.  (Read 2273 times)

Restaurants are shit.
« on: December 02, 2019, 04:00:15 PM »

Is it just me or does anyone else really hate the restaurant experience.

If a group of friends want to meet up or have a night out and someone suggests "a nice meal at a restaurant", I'll immediately come up with an excuse that I can't make or meet them later.

The whole process is utterly tedious. The ritual of choosing what to eat, the long wait for the food, the looks on the faces of the waiting staff who clearly would rather be doing something else, the process of eating and feeling the need to comment on the food and then having to play stupid prices for a plate of tucker.

Maybe it's because I never went to restaurants as a kid. On occasion I might have gone with my family (a significant birthday etc.) but generally we never did that.

I'm certainly in the minority when it comes to my friends, most of whom really enjoy the restaurant thing. I find that often people will eat out somewhere just because it's the done thing. I'll pass by a restaurant on my way to the pub/supermarket, take a quick look through the window, and see couples not talking or looking at each other, sullenly eating their over-priced food.

A few years ago I was on a course and, as an ice breaker, we all had to give three facts and one untrue statement and the others had to work out which was false. So I said something like "I collect records", "I enjoy talk radio", "I'm good at Scrabble" and "I enjoy eating out in restaurants" - Nobody guessed the untruth and were actually taken aback that someone could dislike restaurants.

When I've told friends about my dislike of dining out I'll often follow it up with "What's the most exciting thing to happen in a restaurant?". That's why I like pubs so much better - It's much, much more social, people come and go quickly, there's an unexpected element (and, yes, more likely to see aggressive dicks, but that's all part of it).

So, am I alone? Anyone else agree? Is this why I'm still single at 41?








Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2019, 04:03:05 PM »
Yeah it's a bit crap. I do love Frankie and Bennies though because it's so grim.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2019, 04:03:21 PM »
The best bit is the flaming sambuca and the chintz

I certainly dont like casual dining. Anywhere at the extremes is good, but centrist dining is the height of beige

imitationleather

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2019, 04:05:05 PM »
I really enjoy it tbh.

Chollis

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2019, 04:06:16 PM »
yeah i quite like it. sorry.

Endicott

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2019, 04:06:24 PM »
Maybe it's because I never went to restaurants as a kid.

No it's not that. I never went much as a kid either and restaurants are a revelation to me. Probably the nicest thing to do apart from sex.

This thread is going to be good for flushing out the truly anti-social arses, so well done for starting it.

Norton Canes

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #6 on: December 02, 2019, 04:07:58 PM »
Yeah, eating experience at pubs usually good, eating experience at restaurants usually bad. Though I am led to believe the food at some restaurants is quite good.

Always annoys me that in the UK we don't seem to have those US style diners, not so much the retro 50's style ones but the family-run kind of places that end up on Man Vs. Food that always seem to serve mounds of really well-cooked food in a really buoyant atmosphere with cafe-style tables instead of table cloths and ranks of different cutlery for each course and people silently tutting at each other.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #7 on: December 02, 2019, 04:09:00 PM »


This thread is going to be good for flushing out the truly anti-social arses, so well done for starting it.

Restaurants are fundamentally anti-social.


Chollis

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2019, 04:09:55 PM »
Still quite a novelty to me, i imagine if you did it every week it might become tiresome. But it's quite like going to the pub with your mates (still a good thing i hope?) except that as well as imbibing alcohol you're also eating delicious food.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2019, 04:11:20 PM »
I do enjoy the times I don't fancy a dessert; I may just order a starter while others get their cake and ice-cream. Some waiters get extremely confused by it.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2019, 04:15:54 PM »
Why not just buy some chips and eat them on the way to a pub for your next post-conference do

imitationleather

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #11 on: December 02, 2019, 04:16:47 PM »
Hark at these cunts eating.

I just drink Huel like a real man.

kittens

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #12 on: December 02, 2019, 04:17:50 PM »
worst part is playing around waiting for the bill. you'd think they'd want your table free as quick as possible.  but they just leave you sat there with empty plates til you wave them over and ask for the bill, which they will then create and bring to you, and then they leave, in order for you to call them over again and actually carry out the transaction, unless you happen to have the exact change and no one is paying on card. this process can be streamlined. let me pay when i order. why is this not the way it is done already. no possibility of dine n dash, no 30 minute wait just to pay. order, pay, eat, leave. tell me why we don't do this already.

i'm sure it is something to do with tipping but i don't leave tips. if i explain this at the start will they let me pay there and then and end the charade. they wouldn't have to bother pretending to care whether or not i'm enjoying the food (i will say it's great, thanks, even if i think it's terrible) or acting like my friend. take order & payment, bring food the moment it is ready, leave. have a button on the table that alerts them should i want another drink, which can be paid for there & then also.

there we go, problem solved.

imitationleather

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #13 on: December 02, 2019, 04:18:55 PM »
worst part is playing around waiting for the bill. you'd think they'd want your table free as quick as possible.  but they just leave you sat there with empty plates til you wave them over and ask for the bill, which they will then create and bring to you, and then they leave, in order for you to call them over again and actually carry out the transaction, unless you happen to have the exact change and no one is paying on card. this process can be streamlined. let me pay when i order. why is this not the way it is done already. no possibility of dine n dash, no 30 minute wait just to pay. order, pay, eat, leave. tell me why we don't do this already.

i'm sure it is something to do with tipping but i don't leave tips. if i explain this at the start will they let me pay there and then and the the charade. they wouldn't have to bother pretending to care whether or not i'm enjoying the food (i will say it's great, thanks, even if i think it's terrible) or acting like my friend. take order & payment, bring food the moment it is ready, leave. have a button on the table that alerts them should i want another drink, which can be paid for there & then also.

there we go, problem solved.

Ah, so this is why you go to Nando's so fucking much.

Captain Crunch

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #14 on: December 02, 2019, 04:19:18 PM »
Get down the caff.  All the fun of nice food with the er, fun of nice food. 

Cuellar

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #15 on: December 02, 2019, 04:19:26 PM »
Like it with genuine friends - with colleagues it's TORTURE

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #16 on: December 02, 2019, 04:27:59 PM »
I don't like restaurants. You can't hear your conversation partner clearly because of the loud environment, it's all generally a bit awkward, the concept of somebody you don't know serving you is a bit weird to me and the enormous prices for fairly mediocre food and drinks (at least where I live) are the icing on the cake.


Elderly Sumo Prophecy

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #17 on: December 02, 2019, 04:51:05 PM »
Sounds like you'd enjoy Nandos, Dusty. It's like Wimpy, but with chicken. Easy on the sauce though.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #18 on: December 02, 2019, 05:05:19 PM »
It's ok once every now and then. I hate what it does to my spatial awareness. I feel locked into a space with loudly chattering people around me and have to pretend I can understand what friends and associates are saying to me around the din, there's people's coats and chairs and bags everywhere to trip over or get snagged on and glassware and plates full of splatterable food. Don't even smoke so there's no excuse to go outside for a second.

Things go wrong with orders all the time too, which I normally wouldn't give a shit about unless I got served something I don't eat, but it sends (British) people in paroxysms of either attention seeking bluster or quiet don't want-to-make-a-scene fury. The wrong order will then be the point of conversation for the rest of the evening.

Let's not even get started on peope obsessing about Tripadvisor reviews of nearby restaurants if you're going for an unplanned meal...

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #19 on: December 02, 2019, 05:22:33 PM »
I don't mind it on occasion but it can be horrendous, especially if it's a big group and you get seated next to dull people for the entire evening. Plus since the diabetes diagnosis it's hard to find things to eat which won't kill me, I'm allowed the odd cheat day but even then can't over do it.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #20 on: December 02, 2019, 05:33:00 PM »
Yeah it's a bit crap. I do love Frankie and Bennies though because it's so grim.

The mock mob assassination on the hour keeps things interesting though.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #21 on: December 02, 2019, 05:38:06 PM »
The back and forth over dessert, coffee, bill makes my brain bleed and far away small animals sensitive to dark disturbances in the balance of the universe are obliterated by my thoughts alone.

Generally it's OK up to that point if the restaurant knows what the fuck it's doing, if the seating and acoustics are good, if the company is good and if the food warrants the price paid.

kittens

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #22 on: December 02, 2019, 05:39:59 PM »
Ah, so this is why you go to Nando's so fucking much.

nandos is the only logical restaurant. when the first nando came here from spain in the 60s and my Granddad got a job there he couldn't believe that finally someone had got restaurants right. you pay when you enter, the chicken is supplied, you apply the sauce (be sure to use just the right amount - this is crucial)  and you eat your nice chicken. simple and really, really fun. 3 generations of us have been nando men now and each of us proud of our logical workflow and delicious, healthy and fun chicken meals.

seepage

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #23 on: December 02, 2019, 05:41:43 PM »
Unless it's changed recently, on Malta you pay at the till. They might not have the rule of law, but there's one less bit of hassle.

Loads of local restaurants near me in the UK but, apart from oriental, Indian etc, almost identical menus. Stuff that can be lifted out the freezer and warmed-through/bunged on a grill. No actual cooking required. 

imitationleather

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #24 on: December 02, 2019, 05:43:17 PM »
When my Nan used to have lodgers she would serve them Pot Noodle on a plate with garnish and say it was Chinese food.

Bring back that sort of unpretentious traditional fare, amirite?

kngen

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #25 on: December 02, 2019, 05:44:56 PM »
I hated it in London.* The chances of being sat beside loud wankers that I wanted to kill were incredibly high, especially if it was a 'special occasion' so we'd gone somewhere fancy (thus increasing wanker quotient exponentially) and I knew we were paying through the nose for it. Plus someone Nathan Barely prick would probably be wearing a hat. You're not in McDonald's you cunt. Which is why I love this bit in the Sopranos.

*Apart from Tayyabs and the Turkish places on Green Lanes, but they don't count as restaurants for some reason I can't quite land on.


Dex Sawash

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #26 on: December 02, 2019, 05:55:54 PM »

I mostly hate eating out, worse since I'm not eating meat right now. I'm kind of picky/seven years old and often the veg choices have the most adjectives and ingredients I have to google. Fuck off with your aioli, cunt.

Buelligan

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #27 on: December 02, 2019, 05:57:29 PM »
People seem concerned about the over-priced thing.  Please think about giving a dinner party every night of the week for tens, minimum, of people.  You don't know how many of them are vegetarians or vegan, you don't know how many of them have food allergies, you don't know if they'll all want the fish or none of them will but you can be certain that if you tell them there's no more fish it will be the only thing on the menu they want. 

So, every day, you need to prepare fresh food for an uncertain number of people, this means that the food they do not eat has to be paid for too.  Also all the preparation of it.  Also all the cleaning and preparation of the whole building.  And heating or cooling.  And the equipment.  And the utility bills.  And the business needs to pay tax or rates or whatever, depending on country.  And all the staff need to be paid, because oddly they too have to eat and be warm.

If you want to eat cheaply, buy food and make a meal.  If you go to somewhere where the food on the menu is very cheap, ask yourself where the corners are being cut.  You could do worse than watching Kitchen Nightmares if you need some pointers.

On the is it a fun thing to do - depends on who you are and where you go, I see the clients in the restaurant where I work, some look bored to death with their partners, friends, colleagues and families, some look amazingly engaged and entertained, it's not the restaurant that's different.

Jim Bob

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Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #28 on: December 02, 2019, 06:03:45 PM »
Plus someone Nathan Barely prick would probably be wearing a hat. You're not in McDonald's you cunt. Which is why I love this bit in the Sopranos.

I don't really understand this.  What sort of level of restaurant are we talking about here?  I mean, I've worn my hat when I've gone out for a curry in the past.  Is that poor form?  If so, why so?  Is it rude not to show one's hair (or bald head, in the case of this forum)?  I'm genuinely confused as to why this is a thing.  I remember one of the people down at my local pub moaning about people who come in, wearing hats and how "rude" it was for them to not take their hats off when the walk through the door.  I just don't get it.  Please explain it to me.

Buelligan

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Hatiquette
« Reply #29 on: December 02, 2019, 06:06:40 PM »
In Britain, it comes from the past when most people wore hats.  Women keep their hats on indoors, men take them off.  Men are also expected to remove their hats outside at funerals or when greeting esp. a woman or someone of superior rank.  It's a sign of respect. Technically, it is very rude for a man to keep his hat on indoors (or at a funeral etc) and an indication of either ill-will or barbarianism.  HTH.