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Restaurants are shit.

Started by Dusty Substance, December 02, 2019, 04:00:15 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Chollis

Green olives are better, that's something we can all agree on.


Sherringford Hovis

Until they invent a Burger Emperor, anything fancier than Burger King is just unnecessary.

Mr_Simnock


Jim Bob


Buelligan

Quote from: Chollis on December 03, 2019, 12:44:07 PM
Green olives are better, that's something we can all agree on.

I have a neighbour that grows olives and prepares them.  She showed me the serried rows of old plastic buckets in her barn ram-packed with them soaking in caustic soda.  Caustic soda, yes?

Quote from: kittens on December 02, 2019, 04:17:50 PM
worst part is playing around waiting for the bill. you'd think they'd want your table free as quick as possible.  but they just leave you sat there with empty plates til you wave them over and ask for the bill, which they will then create and bring to you, and then they leave, in order for you to call them over again and actually carry out the transaction, unless you happen to have the exact change and no one is paying on card. this process can be streamlined. let me pay when i order. why is this not the way it is done already. no possibility of dine n dash, no 30 minute wait just to pay. order, pay, eat, leave. tell me why we don't do this already.

That all depends on how busy they are. Unless they are fully booked and need your table they'd rather leave you there because you make the restaurant look more popular to other diners and passers-by and they don't have to clean and reset a table that isn't going to be used whilst simultaneously trying to serve "live" tables.

kittens

so against my will i am being used as advertising for a restaurant i desperately want to leave? and they have the gall to ask me for money.

Yes and without your consent they project images of fancy cheeses onto your back.

Buelligan

Being honest, I think that might be a slight fantasy.  Number One - take a long hard look at yourselves, with or without head wear, are you an advertisement to anyone, for, anything?  No.  No, in fact you'd probably put most people off from even the most gracious salle.

Also, most staff in restaurants want you to eat up, pay up and piss off so's they can clean up after you and not spend unpaid hours waiting to clean up after you.  This is how it really is, farm labourers do not want the cows to linger, in fact, they see the cows as a necessary evil whose presence messes everything up but is required if one wants to run a fucking milking parlour.  If they're not shifting you out, don't worry, they want to alright, it's just that they think it's rude to push you off your chair and grab your wallet.  And we know our manners.  *smiles horribly*

imitationleather

When you're in a restaurant and it takes ages for your order to arrive it's because they're eating all the food themselves.

Quote from: Buelligan on December 03, 2019, 03:55:23 PM
Being honest, I think that might be a slight fantasy.  Number One - take a long hard look at yourselves, with or without head wear, are you an advertisement to anyone, for, anything?  No.  No, in fact you'd probably put most people off from even the most gracious salle.

Also, most staff in restaurants want you to eat up, pay up and piss off so's they can clean up after you and not spend unpaid hours waiting to clean up after you.  This is how it really is, farm labourers do not want the cows to linger, in fact, they see the cows as a necessary evil whose presence messes everything up but is required if one wants to run a fucking milking parlour.  If they're not shifting you out, don't worry, they want to alright, it's just that they think it's rude to push you off your chair and grab your wallet.  And we know our manners.  *smiles horribly*

Not a fantasy for struggling, understaffed chain restaurants at least, according to my waitress friend.

Buelligan

Quote from: imitationleather on December 03, 2019, 04:06:28 PM
When you're in a restaurant and it takes ages for your order to arrive it's because they're eating all the food themselves.

Heheh, I have my suspicions about this, where I work, all the people in the kitchen are skinny as fuck.  All the people that serve the tables, however, are plumping up noticeably, the longest serving servers actually getting pretty buxom.

pancreas

Quote from: bgmnts on December 02, 2019, 11:32:28 PM
I didn't know cab was so bourgeois, I need to up my game.

They're not bourgeois. They mostly drink wine around the £6 mark.

idunnosomename

Quote from: pancreas on December 03, 2019, 08:35:46 PM
They're not bourgeois. They mostly drink wine around the £6 mark.
that's about my limit in the supermarket

imitationleather

Two bottles o' red for a fiver.

McFlymo

Let  me tell you about my "dating experience" last night.
I had to wait at a bar in a hotel for this cunt.
Who told me he was in the bar drinking with work colleagues.
When I arrived and text him to let him know I had arrived, he replied about 5 minutes later saying, "I'm just leaving now, I'll be with you soon..."

After this, a bus load of cunts arrived at the bar and swamped the place. about 60 of them came into the garish over-designed 1920s throwback, Wetherspoons-wanna-be ambient-vacuum.

Some group of fellas comes in and they look tired and forlorn, but are still making small talk about their job. They order some drinks and I can't imagine anything worse than being in their company and having to listen to their awkward, bored anecdotes.

Cunt arrives, orders drinks. Starts rolling his eyes at the bar staff. Gets served and gives a really complicated order and is impatient and charmless about the whole thing. Tells me to go get a seat.

We sit. He tells me he loves going to restaurants and traveling for work, because he gets to "see the world" (but really what that this seems to translate to is: stay in different hotels, be shitty to people, complain about the quality of everything).

Anyway, it was a lovely evening. ...

Case closed.

Ferris

Quote from: McFlymo on December 03, 2019, 09:06:41 PM
Let  me tell you about my "dating experience" last night.
I had to wait at a bar in a hotel for this cunt.
Who told me he was in the bar drinking with work colleagues.
When I arrived and text him to let him know I had arrived, he replied about 5 minutes later saying, "I'm just leaving now, I'll be with you soon..."

Newly discovered Mark E Smith lyrics "as good as ever"


imitationleather