Author Topic: Restaurants are shit.  (Read 2270 times)

Jim Bob

  • (aka Right Said Brett)
Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #60 on: December 02, 2019, 07:16:53 PM »
What's the point of being in situations where you're surrounded by strangers if you can't cast aspersions on them.

Yeah, but for wearing a hat?  If that's the sort of thing that bothers someone, then they'd be better served by looking into a mirror and casting aspersions upon themselves.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #61 on: December 02, 2019, 07:18:44 PM »
I heard it went off the boil well over a decade ago, is it still an acceptable destination?
I found it more than acceptable, though it was eight years ago. Certainly after its halcyon days, but the food and service were absolutely marvellous, darlings.
...
Aha, here are my detailed, expert tasting notes
Quote
9/9/2011 Walnut Tree 8pm Bloody great. For me: baby courgettes with chickpea and parsley dressing followed by globe artichoke with mushroom stuffing and vegetables. £122 for 2.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #62 on: December 02, 2019, 07:22:35 PM »
Wouldn't care how many Michelin stars it has, it's not worth going to Y Fenni.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #63 on: December 02, 2019, 07:25:40 PM »
Nonsense man, depends where from, mind, but there's some lovely twisties round there if you've a mind to give your bike a spanking.

I found it more than acceptable, though it was eight years ago. Certainly after its halcyon days, but the food and service were absolutely marvellous, darlings.
...
Aha, here are my detailed, expert tasting notes
Quote
9/9/2011 Walnut Tree 8pm Bloody great. For me: baby courgettes with chickpea and parsley dressing followed by globe artichoke with mushroom stuffing and vegetables. £122 for 2.

Did you post that here?  I swear I've read it before.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #64 on: December 02, 2019, 07:27:37 PM »
Nonsense man, depends where from, mind, but there's some lovely twisties round there if you've a mind to give your bike a spanking.

Did you post that here?  I swear I've read it before.
I did, possibly when you previously mentioned motorised bicycling in the area.
I have few anecdotes left now.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #65 on: December 02, 2019, 07:28:47 PM »
You poor old sod, it's a good thing we tolerate you for the sake of the good times, now long past it seems.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #66 on: December 02, 2019, 07:50:32 PM »
I fucking love going out to eat. Sit around with mates and chat shit while people bring me stuff to eat and drink. It's the best. The best thing to do ever.

Small Man Big Horse

  • Member
  • **
  • Writers wanted for comedy website, pls click below
Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #67 on: December 02, 2019, 08:00:05 PM »
Does a Toby Carvery count as a restaurant?

Ignore Dangerman, the Toby Carvery is the king of restaurants, though the fuckers should introduce a slightly higher priced version where you can have all you can eat meat too.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #68 on: December 02, 2019, 08:19:16 PM »
I was eating in the Toby Carvery and it's like "Hey, when I ordered the Gammon, I didn't mean I wanted a load of noisy Brexit Voters at the next table!!!"

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #69 on: December 02, 2019, 08:21:30 PM »
I'd genuinely support the Brexit party for all you can eat yorkshire puddings and mashed potato.

Wouldn't even think about it.

DolphinFace

  • Put it in me
Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #70 on: December 02, 2019, 08:40:02 PM »
I like eating out when abroad. I like to eat IKEA meatballs when in Sweden, goulash when in Hungry, strudel when in Austria etc. Restaurants in Greece tend to get busy around midnight, the food is normally cooked by a woman wearing a little hat using the recipe passed down from their mother and the waiting on staff don't bother you at all. They're not taking your plate the second your plate is empty and they don't try shipping you out as quickly as possible. You can spend 4 hours at a taverna, eating and drinking. It is sociable.

The restaurants round my way are mainly shit. You don't need qualifications to work in a kitchen, so they're mainly staffed by young, over worked lads who have no interest in food and therefore cannot cook. 99 times out of 100 I can do better myself. That might just be round here though.

Sin Agog

  • Dogs fucked the pope; no fault of mine
Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #71 on: December 02, 2019, 08:40:43 PM »
I just wish it was mandatory that everyone in customer service were legally obliged to express the exact emotion they happen to be feeling at that moment.  I know it's much worse in the U.S., but I just want to disappear whenever I see someone stapling a rictus grin on their face just because money's on the table.  Everyone should be forced to watch this scene in 50 Stories High (7.12 mins in: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A10I7Cocfyc) on staff training day for how they SHOULD behave.  Slur the fuck away, be completely disinterested, 'cause you've got shit going on in your lives way more important than putting on a little play for a table full of strangers.

DolphinFace

  • Put it in me
Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #72 on: December 02, 2019, 08:46:06 PM »
Waiting on staff wherever I went in Germany were always gruff but helpful beardy men. They were all rude as fuck and I loved it.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #73 on: December 02, 2019, 08:48:54 PM »
Waiting on staff wherever I went in Germany were always gruff but helpful beardy men. They were all rude as fuck and I loved it.
bet you fucking did

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #74 on: December 02, 2019, 10:10:04 PM »
...the food is normally cooked by a woman wearing a little hat...

Entirely socially acceptable, even indoors.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #75 on: December 02, 2019, 10:11:57 PM »
But it's quite like going to the pub with your mates (still a good thing i hope?)


I adore going to the pub with mates. My best afternoons/evenings/nights EVER have started as a pint or two with friends only to escalate into drunken shenanigans. Something I've never experienced in any restaurant ever.


except that as well as imbibing alcohol you're also eating delicious quite nice and ludicrously over-priced food.





Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #76 on: December 02, 2019, 10:13:35 PM »
If you mention over-priced food again, I'm going to ask you how much a pint of beer costs at the pub.  Beer, which keeps quite a long time with little waste and no preparation.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #77 on: December 02, 2019, 10:19:13 PM »
If you mention over-priced food again, I'm going to ask you how much a pint of beer costs at the pub.  Beer, which keeps quite a long time with little waste and no preparation.

Beautiful, gorgeous, lovely beer that makes me feel all giddy inside and gives me the strength and confidence that I don't usually have.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #78 on: December 02, 2019, 10:22:49 PM »
Enjoying your thread, sir?

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #79 on: December 02, 2019, 10:24:24 PM »
Both pubs and restaurants are overpriced.


Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #80 on: December 02, 2019, 10:26:01 PM »
Enjoying your thread, sir?
yeah lovely thanks

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #81 on: December 02, 2019, 10:26:42 PM »
Would you like a nice dab of cum on your bun, Sir?

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #82 on: December 02, 2019, 10:27:07 PM »
Both pubs and restaurants are overpriced.

Oh why's that then?

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #83 on: December 02, 2019, 10:28:49 PM »
Oh why's that then?

Because both are available cheaper at home. I can cook michelin star level food at home and get proper ace booze down the supermarket for half the price.


Just stay at home you weirdos.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #84 on: December 02, 2019, 10:34:31 PM »
Where I work we have three regular customers who are Michelin 2 and 3 starred chefs, they too can cook delicious Michelin star-type repasts and yet those weirdos choose to pay our exorbitant prices.  You couldn't make it up (so I didn't).

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #85 on: December 02, 2019, 10:41:32 PM »
Pretty sure everyone and their mum owns a Michelin star in France. You get it free with the Daily Star.

kngen

  • Member
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  • Fighting sleep's deathlike grip
Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #86 on: December 02, 2019, 10:45:30 PM »
I don't really understand this.  What sort of level of restaurant are we talking about here? 

Ones that you might want to get dressed up a bit smart for. Wearing a hat while you're eating at one of those is like those cunts who wear their pajamas to trendy brunch places in posh areas to prove that, unlike the plebs, they've not had to travel to get there - 'We're rich enough to do what we fucking want, yeah?'

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #87 on: December 02, 2019, 11:07:56 PM »
Is it just me or does anyone else really hate the restaurant experience.

I like restaurants. Posh. Mid range. McDonalds. Whatever. In a restaurant with wine that's just fine. I whack a couple of drinks into me and then start blabbering. I enjoy food prepared to a standard I can't manage myself. It's delicious. Really fresh seafood. Lovely.

If I'm going on holiday I scour the internet for the perfect restaurants and then book them literally months in advance. Then I look forward to seeing what the restaurant is like. It's all part of the fun for me. Sometimes the staff make it really memorable.

I'm not really a pub person these days. I like the occasional techno nightclub but that's relatively rare. My 3 favourite places to get pissed are home, restaurants and cinemas that serve booze. In that order.

I wonder if you are bored by restaurants if you just haven't got the hang of it yet. Like it's a skill to derive enjoyment from them. Occasionally if I'm not on form or not in the mood then a restaurant can be kind of boring but I tend to build a weekend or a city break out of restaurant visit. I like delicious food and a man's gotta eat.

And this idea of watching miserable couples in restaurants not talking to each other. What's that about? Have you done the statistical research on that? Or have you looked in one or two restaurant windows in the last decade and extrapolated out this anti fantasy to prop up your bullshit? What a retarded load of old cobblers. Grow up.

There's a reason there are 15 million restaurants in the world.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2019, 11:35:10 PM by checkoutgirl »

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #88 on: December 02, 2019, 11:11:04 PM »
Restaurants are fundamentally anti-social.

Have you recently been the victim of a brain injury? Please stop. It's embarrassing now.

Re: Restaurants are shit.
« Reply #89 on: December 02, 2019, 11:11:21 PM »
Much prefer street food. Better vibe.