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Restaurants are shit.

Started by Dusty Substance, December 02, 2019, 04:00:15 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
Quote from: Buelligan on December 02, 2019, 06:56:16 PM
That tells you all you need to know, doesn't it?  If the restaurant's good, it doesn't need to give discounts to get people through the door.  Also, I would say, if a restaurant's reasonably pricey and the food is bad.  Complain.  I don't mean, if you order something you've never tasted before and you don't like it, complain - that's unreasonable.  But if it's badly seasoned over or under-cooked, cold, aged or infirm, fucking tell them (politely).

Sometimes good restaurants do offer deals - I suppose they sometimes need to emulate the competition.  I'd agree that if the only reason you're going somewhere is to get a cheap deal, that probably tells you something.

One thing I would say about eating out is that the Christmas period is one of the worst times to do it.  Unless it's a place that basically stays the same all year, like a good curry house.  Special Christmas menus are generally used as a chance to make an over-priced killing from the joyless Christmas works night out market.

kngen

Quote from: Clatty McCutcheon on December 02, 2019, 11:23:25 PM
Unless it's a place that basically stays the same all year, like a good curry house.

Tayyab's during Ramadan - that was my jam. About the only time I could bear to eat there in the evening, because it was so fucking busy otherwise.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: Buelligan on December 02, 2019, 06:56:16 PM
If the restaurant's good, it doesn't need to give discounts to get people through the door.

Sometimes a good or very good restaurant will give vouchers and deals when it's starting out. To get bums on seats, to spread the word and if they impress, to get repeat business.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: Jim Bob on December 02, 2019, 07:16:53 PM
Yeah, but for wearing a hat?

Maybe not any old hat. But I'm with Tony Soprano in that wearing a baseball hat in a nice restaurant is a bit cheap. Also I get inordinately annoyed by people wearing baseball hats sometimes. Not sure why. And men wearing baseball hats backwards like they think they're Tupac or something. I haven't worn a baseball cap since I was 14 years old, for good reason.

bgmnts

I didn't know cab was so bourgeois, I need to up my game.

idunnosomename

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on December 02, 2019, 10:26:42 PM
Would you like a nice dab of cum on your bun, Sir?
oh go on then, cheers, thanks

idunnosomename

Quote from: bgmnts on December 02, 2019, 10:41:32 PM
Pretty sure everyone and their mum owns a Michelin star in France. You get it free with the Daily Star.
nearly every decent eatery is in the Michelin guide, but a star is big potato

Never sure why a tyre manufacturer gets to be the arbiter on fine dining but there you go

gib

Quote from: Dusty Substance on December 02, 2019, 04:09:00 PM
Restaurants are fundamentally anti-social.

Quote from: bgmnts on December 02, 2019, 10:28:49 PMJust stay at home you weirdos.

i got a portion of greggs potato wedges for lunch today then went to a hipster pub on my own for a £4 pint of pale ale, PM me for details

checkoutgirl

Quote from: idunnosomename on December 02, 2019, 11:43:47 PM
Never sure why a tyre manufacturer gets to be the arbiter on fine dining but there you go

Think it started as a guide to roadside diners?

Roads-cars-tyres-Michelin Guide

kngen

Quote from: checkoutgirl on December 02, 2019, 11:53:59 PM
Think it started as a guide to roadside diners?

Roads-cars-tyres-Michelin Guide

Yep, and I think the stars were originally used to denote how far out of your way you should drive to eat there (could be an urban myth, though). So asix-hour detour to El Bulli in Catalonia would be well worth it even if you're just driving from Montpellier to Nimes, apparently.

Andy147

Quote from: kngen on December 03, 2019, 12:10:27 AM
Yep, and I think the stars were originally used to denote how far out of your way you should drive to eat there (could be an urban myth, though). So asix-hour detour to El Bulli in Catalonia would be well worth it even if you're just driving from Montpellier to Nimes, apparently.

Still do: 3 stars is "worth a special journey", 2 stars "worth a detour", 1 star is "very good".

Sony Walkman Prophecies

I love restaurants. Hate pubs. Am at home in cafes. In the summer I like me a good cigar and coffee on the terrace. I am a European ponce.

Sony Walkman Prophecies

And yes, I do know how to spell "terrace" the French way before the usual six-form pedants turn up with their fingers wagging and eyes rolling.

Ferris

Quote from: kittens on December 02, 2019, 04:17:50 PM
worst part is playing around waiting for the bill. you'd think they'd want your table free as quick as possible.  but they just leave you sat there with empty plates til you wave them over and ask for the bill, which they will then create and bring to you, and then they leave, in order for you to call them over again and actually carry out the transaction, unless you happen to have the exact change and no one is paying on card. this process can be streamlined. let me pay when i order. why is this not the way it is done already. no possibility of dine n dash, no 30 minute wait just to pay. order, pay, eat, leave. tell me why we don't do this already.

i'm sure it is something to do with tipping but i don't leave tips. if i explain this at the start will they let me pay there and then and end the charade. they wouldn't have to bother pretending to care whether or not i'm enjoying the food (i will say it's great, thanks, even if i think it's terrible) or acting like my friend. take order & payment, bring food the moment it is ready, leave. have a button on the table that alerts them should i want another drink, which can be paid for there & then also.

there we go, problem solved.

There are a couple of hole in the wall places in Koreatown in Toronto with the "button on table if you want something" trick, which presumably switches a light on "backstage" where the staff hang out. It's magic. "I think I fancy another soju", here I go, press the button, an attentive old fella turns up and brings you another no questions asked. Same for getting the bill. It's very good.

Stick that up yer nandos

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Quote from: Sony Walkman Prophecies on December 03, 2019, 01:01:44 AM
And yes, I do know how to spell "terrace" the French way before the usual six-form pedants turn up with their fingers wagging and eyes rolling.

It's sixth form, not six form.
😐

bgmnts

Thank god you said that, I was itching.

ProvanFan


ProvanFan

In my opinionation, res-tau-rants are surely shiiiite

*diddly diddly dun dun*


Buelligan

Quote from: Andy147 on December 03, 2019, 12:25:15 AM
Still do: 3 stars is "worth a special journey", 2 stars "worth a detour", 1 star is "very good".

I understand, Michelin stars are also based on things other than the food.  So if you have terrible lavatorial facilities or a hell-mouth in the car park, even if your food is incredible, you'll still not progress into higher stardom.  I'm not sure if I think that's correct or not but then the whole idea of judging food, like judging Art or music, is a bit dodgy IMO.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: bgmnts on December 02, 2019, 11:11:21 PM
Much prefer street food. Better vibe.

For me streets are an unavoidable necessity to get to a restaurant or cinema 98% of the time. The other 2% are the golden mile in Edinburgh or something. The streets are where dogshit lives.

checkoutgirl

Nandos is McDonalds without the burgers. Utterly pointless.

madhair60


Cloud

Quote from: Cuellar on December 02, 2019, 04:19:26 PM
Like it with genuine friends - with colleagues it's TORTURE

I think this nails it for me.  Yes is can be as bad as described but it's largely down to who you're with (that and where you go, I guess).  I don't tend to notice how long it takes and such as I'm enjoying the company and conversation (unless it turns to football, then I phone stare) but it'd be a different matter if I was there out of a sense of duty with colleagues or something and just wanting it all to be done with.

It's not a perfect experience and we have that one guy who if you try to tip will just use it to subsidise his own which adds to awkwardness at the end but is otherwise enjoyable.

Also generally these days in social groups there needs to be someone with awareness bringing up the mobile phones thing otherwise everyone (myself included, not gonna lie) will just sit there in silence staring at their phones and make it a miserable experience for themselves.

Quote from: DolphinFace on December 02, 2019, 08:46:06 PM
Waiting on staff wherever I went in Germany were always gruff but helpful beardy men. They were all rude as fuck and I loved it.

At a beer hall/restaurant in Munich quite a few years ago, one of the waiting staff, a young man with a flamboyant handlebar moustache and noticeably high-cut lederhosen whipped a couple of wooden spoons from his sock and, unprompted by anyone as far as I could see, played them by rattling them against his hands, thighs and feet, without once changing his expression or breaking eye contact with us, three embarrassed, twenty-something Englishmen. After an uncomfortable thirty seconds (two hours?) he nodded, slipped the spoons back into his sock and carried on clearing the table. All the other staff were gruff but helpful beardy men.


Jockice

Quote from: Dex Sawash on December 02, 2019, 05:55:54 PM
I mostly hate eating out, worse since I'm not eating meat right now. I'm kind of picky/seven years old and often the veg choices have the most adjectives and ingredients I have to google. Fuck off with your aioli, cunt.

Oh come on, every veggie in the world simply adores spicy stuff. Personally I can't get enough of the stuff, so I think all restaurants should have something spicy as the only veggie option.


mrpupkin

These olives are sue gudd you guys

We've all done it haven't we. Said that. Out loud. Mass grave beckons.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: mrpupkin on December 03, 2019, 12:18:29 PM
These olives are sue gudd you guys

We've all done it haven't we. Said that. Out loud. Mass grave beckons.

Nah man, I don't mind the black bastards in stuff but they are unsatisfactory items to be pronged and scoffed on their todd.

Jim Bob

Quote from: Dusty Substance on December 02, 2019, 10:19:13 PM
Beautiful, gorgeous, lovely beer that makes me feel all giddy inside and gives me the strength and confidence that I don't usually have.

Horrible, rank, cheap beer makes me feel or giddy inside and gives me the stench and incontinence that I always have.

Quote from: kngen on December 02, 2019, 10:45:30 PM
Ones that you might want to get dressed up a bit smart for. Wearing a hat while you're eating at one of those is like those cunts who wear their pajamas to trendy brunch places in posh areas to prove that, unlike the plebs, they've not had to travel to get there - 'We're rich enough to do what we fucking want, yeah?'

Well, I can't afford to eat at places like that.  What I'm talking about is wearing my hat in a standard Indian restaurant, or a bloke down at my local traditional pub complaining about how rude it was for someone to walk in there and not take their hat off.

Quote from: checkoutgirl on December 02, 2019, 11:30:29 PM
Maybe not any old hat. But I'm with Tony Soprano in that wearing a baseball hat in a nice restaurant is a bit cheap. Also I get inordinately annoyed by people wearing baseball hats sometimes. Not sure why. And men wearing baseball hats backwards like they think they're Tupac or something. I haven't worn a baseball cap since I was 14 years old, for good reason.

You might well find it a bit cheap.  That's personal taste, but some are saying that it's downright rude to do so and that one can judge someone's character and very being by their hat wearing.