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What will they do if Corbyn wins?

Started by jobotic, December 05, 2019, 11:10:27 AM

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Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Cardenio I on December 05, 2019, 11:38:30 AM
Fully expecting next Thrusday to go something like this

But now Pete Postlewaite is dead. Coincidence? I think we all know the answer to that.

Norton Canes

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on December 05, 2019, 02:47:51 PM
Anyone remember the BBC's election coverage in the 90's or early 2000's where during the late night coverage with all the swingometer gubbins they illustrated a landslide by showing the mp's in the house of commons being literally buried under a fall of bricks?

No but I've spent the last five minutes scouring YouTube footage looking for it, with no luck. Anyone..?

kittens


Buelligan


Thursday

Honestly forget how much better it would make the country, the best part about Corbyn winning would be how much it would annoy all the worst people in the world... then they'd attribute all the improvements made to anything else.

Thursday

On the other side though, wouldn't it feel fucking weird to be on the side of the government. Can't imagine it.


poo

cunt relatives earning insane ££££££ for jobs that don't benefit society are shitting it at the propect of Corbs rightly taxing them to fuck and back. woudl love to see the look on their cunting faces, really I would love it. Thought about what I'd do and came up with the this plan which was as they're moaning like fuck about a Labout win just stare at them rubbing hamburger into me.

Billy

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on December 05, 2019, 02:47:51 PM
Anyone remember the BBC's election coverage in the 90's or early 2000's where during the late night coverage with all the swingometer gubbins they illustrated a landslide by showing the mp's in the house of commons being literally buried under a fall of bricks?

The year in the late noughties when Vine first over from Snow is still legendary, trying to obviously get politics a bit more down with da kidz a bit so having a CGI rapping Ming Campbell with Jeremy Vine playing the hype man. Cut to a silent studio and a baffled Dimbleby wondering what the fuck is going on.

Think they also tried a comedy "Wild West" segment around the same time, with a stetsoned Vine shooting CGI cans with a virtual Nick Clegg. Maybe this year we'll have the 'Cor-Bin!' with virtual representations of Tory MPs who've lost their seat being violently compacted and crushed into landfill by two grinning Jeremys.

Cardenio I

Holy fucking Christ I felt sure you were making that up, but no:

Ming's Bling

Calamity Clegg's Tin Can Shoot Out

Best comment:

Quote
Somebody shoot him, or just incapacitate him so he can't move or speak.

Don't mean to be hateful but the guy is an absolute fucking tool.


Ambient Sheep

Sadly I think it's highly unlikely to happen.  The powers that be, whether that's MI5, Conservative Central Office, or various other vested interests, won't let it happen... especially as one can imagine that they nearly got caught napping in the 2017 election which they didn't think would be close enough to bother with.

I've written about this at length in the past: a good "master post" that links back to older posts can be found HERE, but here's a couple of handy excerpts for those short on time, patience or interest:

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on January 11, 2008, 12:35:40 AMIn 1992, a few days after the general election that John Major unexpectedly won by a narrow margin, the Guardian ran a similar front-page - albeit bottom of the front-page - story.  It was based on an academic analysis of voting patterns, and revealed that the swing against the Tories seen everywhere else in the country was markedly reduced or even reversed in about 50(?) marginal constiuencies.  Coincidentally those same constituencies also had an unusually large number of postal votes.  Curiously enough, in every single one of those 50(?) constituencies, the number of greater-than-usual postal votes happened to roughly match the amount that the anti-Tory swing was cancelled out.

Funny that.

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on May 13, 2015, 04:36:58 PMBut the really eye-catching fact about the 1992 election is that the entire national result was decided by only 1,241 votes distributed through 11 key marginals. Without those votes in those 11 seats, the Conservatives would have lost the general election. And, in at least three of them - Bolton North East, Stirling and Tynemouth - party workers reported signs of abuse.

Pardon?

The entire national result was decided by only 1,241 votes distributed through 11 key marginals.

You WHAT?

1,241 votes distributed through 11 key marginals.

(Text originally from this 2001 Guardian article by Nick Davies -- one of the proper old-school Guardian journalists who've left since the MI5-laptop-destruction episode.)


Oh, and in 2015 it was just 901 voters in 7 key marginals.

It doesn't take that much to get the result you want, if you can be bothered.

Sorry to be a Debbie-downer.

BlodwynPig

Just casting enough shadow of doubt to quell the uprising too.

If it was all out in the open, FUCKED CHECKED etc, riots now.

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on December 05, 2019, 04:00:28 PM
Sadly I think it's highly unlikely to happen.  The powers that be, whether that's MI5, Conservative Central Office, or various other vested interests, won't let it happen... especially as one can imagine that they nearly got caught napping in the 2017 election which they didn't think would be close enough to bother with.

I've written about this at length in the past: a good "master post" that links back to older posts can be found HERE, but here's a couple of handy excerpts for those short on time, patience or interest:

Oh, and in 2015 it was just 901 voters in 7 key marginals.

It doesn't take that much to get the result you want, if you can be bothered.

Sorry to be a Debbie-downer.

Thank GOD the Tories will be bringing in voter ID to stamp out such egregious fraud!

Twit 2

Chalk me up as another pessimist who thinks even if Crubbkins was allowed to win he'd be disappeared into a giant vat of pudding on his first factory inspection. That's why I'm voting Tory "for a laugh".

Replies From View

Quote from: Danger Man on December 05, 2019, 11:14:51 AM
Do an Indira Ghandi and get assassinated by his own bodyguards.

I hate these Bollywood remakes of perfectly serviceable films.

Fabian Thomsett

Jezza died on the way back to his home planet.

BlodwynPig

Closes source to Corbyn tell me that he doenst even use a bodyguard. Because of ozone layer

shh

Flee to Israel or America you'd think.


jamiefairlie

Quote from: Ambient Sheep on December 05, 2019, 04:00:28 PM
Sadly I think it's highly unlikely to happen.  The powers that be, whether that's MI5, Conservative Central Office, or various other vested interests, won't let it happen... especially as one can imagine that they nearly got caught napping in the 2017 election which they didn't think would be close enough to bother with.

I've written about this at length in the past: a good "master post" that links back to older posts can be found HERE, but here's a couple of handy excerpts for those short on time, patience or interest:

(Text originally from this 2001 Guardian article by Nick Davies -- one of the proper old-school Guardian journalists who've left since the MI5-laptop-destruction episode.)


Oh, and in 2015 it was just 901 voters in 7 key marginals.

It doesn't take that much to get the result you want, if you can be bothered.

Sorry to be a Debbie-downer.

Indeed. The postal vote returns in the first indyref were highly dubious e.g. the postal voter turnout in Argyll was 96.4 per cent, which was apparently next to impossible with the number of dead or otherwise disqualifying people on the register. We also had Ruth Davidson crowing about how good the postal votes were looking before she was legally allowed to have any information on that subject.

Buelligan

Ha.  Can't wait to see the disappointment on you peoples' faces when he only goes and wins and then leads the whole world to a land of milk and honey that lasts a thousand years, him still running things.  That is how it is going to be (otherwise we have to go with Plan B which will be very destructive).

jamiefairlie

Quote from: Buelligan on December 05, 2019, 10:17:29 PM
Ha.  Can't wait to see the disappointment on you peoples' faces when he only goes and wins and then leads the whole world to a land of milk and honey that lasts a thousand years, him still running things.  That is how it is going to be (otherwise we have to go with Plan B which will be very destructive).

"You people" "lasts a thousand years"

Anti-semite! Quick, stone him! Stone him!

Noddy Tomkey

I guess mook would die or something. Please vote accordingly.

NoSleep

Quote from: Buelligan on December 05, 2019, 10:17:29 PM
Ha.  Can't wait to see the disappointment on you peoples' faces when he only goes and wins and then leads the whole world to a land of milk and honey that lasts a thousand years, him still running things.  That is how it is going to be (otherwise we have to go with Plan B which will be very destructive).

Nah... Plan B will be "don't give up, we are are in this for the long haul".

Urinal Cake

It's probable it will be a Coalition government so they'll (Tories,Lib Dems, intelligence) just work on the junior parties to crumble.

ajsmith2

Sun headline about unlucky Friday The Thirteenth. Guaranteed. Mock up of Corbyn in Jason mask likely.

danielreal2k

Quote from: jobotic on December 05, 2019, 11:10:27 AM
It's not going to be allowed is it?

Made up allegations of impropriety? Poisoned marrow?

Given that John McDonnell has gone from wanting to sell off all private schools to being interviewed sat at home "not feeling very well, heart problems and stating Labour should have a female leader next" indicates someone might have "had a word"

holyzombiejesus

Quote from: danielreal2k on December 06, 2019, 09:51:53 AM
Given that John McDonnell has gone from wanting to sell off all private schools to being interviewed sat at home "not feeling very well, heart problems and stating Labour should have a female leader next" indicates someone might have "had a word"

Given that he's one of the architects behind the boldest manifesto produced since the war, it would suggest no such thing.

Buelligan

Indeed. 

Quote from: NoSleep on December 06, 2019, 09:33:03 AM
Nah... Plan B will be "don't give up, we are are in this for the long haul".

Heheh.  I know that, we will never, ever, give up.

Cardenio I

I, for one, can't wait for Jeremy Corbyn's unconvincing suicide on a long country walk.