Author Topic: The Trotters all standing in a row wearing shades while Livin La Vida Loca plays  (Read 15238 times)


  • Are we counting shites?
it was set in BRITAIN, where HORSE RACING is quite popular

The theme song sounds like they say "we'll cut prices at a straw".

While that seems like something only an idiot would think, what do horses sleep on?

Del also owned a Capri, an automobile made by the Ford motor company who also made the Mustang which is a make of horse.

non capisco

The theme song sounds like they say "we'll cut prices at a straw".

While that seems like something only an idiot would think, what do horses sleep on?

It's actually "we'll cut prices at a stroke" but I just looked it up and horses can have strokes as in the neurological disorder, and people stroke horses don't they? So we're still good.


  • five gas lighters for a pound
Del's always speaking French, and what do our Gallic friends consider to be an acceptable meat?


  • one of those fiery, Mexican Clives
Denzil played Horse in The Full Monty

Only Fools and Horses

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Well ...enjoy your lifetime supply of virginity!
All of the cast were cunts, the writer was a cunt, and anyone who actually likes this fucking load of old cunt having the fucking nerve to call itself a comedy show is a cunt.

....and what are horses? They're cunts. What kind of animal just fucking stands there like a cunt, and let's some other cuntish animal fucking get on their fucking back and ride them about like cunts? Thereupon allowing these cunts to progress on to fucking harness them and fucking ride them about with fucking big carriages of cunts attached to them, and then fucking move onto fucking race them about for their own fucking cuntish pleasure, with fucking minicunts sat on their backs, fucking actually * whipping* them like cunts, in order to make them go faster, and then devising an annual race for them which is actually, literally a fucking death trap for the cunts, so if the poor fucking cunts break their fucking legs while trying to jump over the fucking obstacles put up deliberately fucking cuntishly high, the poor cunts get shot through their fucking heads.
I mean, fucking horse are fucking strong cunts, they could have at least fucking evolved themselves to stand on their hind haunches by now, to fucking turn round to those fucking human cunts and say " If you think you're going to fucking jump on my back and ride me about like a cunt, you can fuck off, you fucking cunt", then fucking punch the fucking cunts right in their fucking cuntish cuntfizzogs, maybe even giving them a good old hoof in the bollocks or cunts for good measure, the cunts. But no, they fucking stand there on all four legs and let those cunts do whatever the fuck they like to them, the fucking useless, pathetic fucking equine cunts.

So, there's that link too, I suppose.

ETA: Cunts.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2019, 08:16:41 PM by Lisa Jesusandmarychain »

The Trotters are mammals, like a horse is


  • ゴーリー! ゴースト!
Del's always speaking French, and what do our Gallic friends consider to be an acceptable meat?
Holy shit they eat Del Boys?

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  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Cassandra's miscarriage (fed to a horse)

Ah yes, in the episode ‘Together Like a Horse and (Mis)carriage’.


  • Today's question ahsks: how much is the totebag?
Paul Whitehorse plays Grandad No-beard in the musical of Only Fools and Horses.

Roddersney fears the Ochetti crime family will place a horse's cock on his pillow. Also, The henchman of the Ochetti crime family, Lurch, has five letters in his name, which is the same amount in the word 'horse'. Lurch is the American equivalent of horse lookalike Trigger, but Trigger isn't part of the Mafia, no... he is a roadsweeper who sometimes sweeps up horse shit whenever Roy 'Rogers' Slater parades about on his steed. The word 'steed' is made up of five letters just like 'horse'. Coincidence?!

Delled Buoy makes a reference to Bradford and Bingley; they have a logo of two smartly-dressed men in silhouette. Lloyds Bank also has a logo but it's a silhouette of a horse.

Tony Driscoll's 'A shilling day and a horse shit sandwich' line was cut because the politically correct committee deemed it offensive towards sandwiches.

Speaking of breaded chod deriving from a hefty posterior, Uncah Lahbert is believed to have sailed on a naval vessel called 'HMS Cod'. This line appears to have been removed whenever Dates isn't broadcast, as 'HMS' stands for 'Horse Manure Sandwich'.

Delrek makes references to the television programme neighbours when he speaks to Rodrodney on the phone. Rodrodney also watches the programme Top of the Pops in one episode which, by sheer coincidence, is the televised venue where 'Spanner Ballet' performed their hit classics, with frontman Tony Horseley providing the singing voice.

Tony coincidentally is the first name of Tony 'A Shilling a Day and a Horse Shit Sandwich' Driscoll.

Tony Driscoll shares the same forename as stage act Tony Angelino, who suffers from a speech impediment called rhotacism, much like Jonathan Ross who hosts the fictional quiz show Goldrush that uses Spandau Ballet's hit smash 'Gold' as the theme music (sung by Tony Horseley). Despite the awfully funny singer's and chat-show stalwart's difficulty to pronounce R's, they have no trouble with the R in horse as they never utter that word in their respective episodes.


  • five gas lighters for a pound


  • five gas lighters for a pound
The Furlong Legs Of The Law

We're through the looking glass, people


  • five gas lighters for a pound
Del Boy falls through the bar in an equine bar.

The sitcom Only Fools and Horses exists in a universe where there is an actual physical concept embodied in the syllable 'horse,' i.e. it refers to an existing physical entity in the actual world and so is an actual word with the usual symbolism of such rather than being a meaningless sound with a written analogue in a construction of letters.

The Trotters live in a flat, so it's inevitable they'd use a clothes horse to dry their laundry.

Although, thinking about it, they might not have a washing machine and instead use a local launderette which could be owned by a Mr. Alogo*.

*Which is Greek for horse.

I can't tell you all what a relief it is that you all agree with me this is a massive equine conspiracy that needs busting wide open.

Thought of two more:

Marlene (Boycie's missus)
Margate (Jolly boy's outing location)

A mare is a type of horse.

Also -

The Trotters live in Peckham, which is near Vauxhall.  Vauxhall made a car called the Cavalier. Cavaliers ride horses.

Denzil Tulser is an old Persian phrase meaning ‘irresponsible horseman.’

Horses famously have enourmous cocks (or rods), and say 'neigh'.


In the episode "A Royal Flush", Del Boy acts like a cunt, like a great many horse does.


  • ゴーリー! ゴースト!
All of the characters are made of meat, just like horses.

Non Stop Dancer

  • Nice apple tart
Mickey Pierce caught his aids from a horse.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Well ...enjoy your lifetime supply of virginity!
It be"hoove"*d Del to check the bar hatch before leaning against the bar in a bid to look sophisticated and impress the ladies.

(* horse have hooves, instead of feet or paws)


  • the Zone of Zero Funkativity
Rodney's middle name is Kenneth Pinyan.

Non Stop Dancer

  • Nice apple tart
When Little and Large appeared as guest stars in the 1985 Christmas special, Eddie made Sid drink a gallon of horse cum, telling him it was custard.

Horses do huge poos all over the road, a lot like the final episodes of "Only Fools and Horses"

Need more rappers wishing Only Fools and Horses alumni holiday greetings.

Next up Dr Dre is wishing Mickey Pierce a happy new year. If Sid isn't dead then Drake will wish him a happy Easter.


  • I drink your thread
A remember a story from a few years ago where Snoop Dogg - genuinely - said he was a fan of Keeping Up Appearances. Mind boggling stuff.

Reading more about the Boycie/Ice-T friendship. When Ice was asked how he knew Challis, he said, "Because I live on earth." Love the idea of Ice-T getting a bit narky because someone has dared to question his friendship with Aubrey Boyce.

Very little equine rap as far as i am aware. But then i am a very white man.