Author Topic: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2  (Read 24391 times)

madhair60

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Here we go again, post the posts that tickled you most

Café Cunt has a lovely ring to it actually, we should open one up.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2019, 11:16:02 AM »
Just to be clear, guffaw means to do a fart, right?

Noonling

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2019, 12:10:31 PM »
If no one post some guffaws in the next 20 minutes I'm gonna leave work early.

Pdine

  • Apparently I'm Jewish
Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2019, 01:41:38 PM »
The word 'guffaw' actually derives from a Celtic word for a puffin who is also a cunt.

non capisco

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2019, 05:49:03 PM »
Thomas on Bond

The 'mysterious personal history' angle was bang on for Skyfall, being as it was a meta-theme for the fiftieth anniversary, but for some reason they persisted with it in Spectre, culminating with the stupid 'secret brother who orchestrated everything all along' reveal. Hopefully Blofeld explains in this one that he was only joking. I see some parallels with Sherlock, and the things that went wrong in that series. Too inward-looking, too character-focused in weird ways.

On the other hand, the very idea of James Bond - the imperialist, white supremacist, misogynistic weapon of the state - doesn't make sense as a hero any more (he ends up going rogue or retiring in every film now, just so he can remain loosely on the side of the good guys in this post-Snowden era), so fuck it. They should go mad with it. Reveal that he's next in line to the throne, or that MI6 have invented time travel and he has to go back to Moonraker and fuck an alien. Flashback where he kills Jeffrey Epstein.

Replies From View

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2019, 05:51:53 PM »
The word 'guffaw' actually derives from a Celtic word for a puffin who is also a cunt.

Never even heard of that specific puffin.

non capisco

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2019, 06:37:16 PM »
Glebe's contribution to a Hal Hartley thread in Deeper Into Movies

[tag]Oh you do have my film? That's wonderful![/tag]

imitationleather

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #7 on: December 06, 2019, 06:48:42 PM »
Haha. That's great.

Glebe

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #8 on: December 06, 2019, 07:17:32 PM »
Crikey, a chucklesome reaction from some comment I posted the guts of two years ago! Cheered me up that has, ta folks.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #9 on: December 07, 2019, 07:57:01 AM »
Nothing condenses CaB's partiality to viscera and existential loathing like the Snooker thread.

Quote
Stuart Bingham is like a stinking torrent of black, cloying Guinness-induced diarrhoea that adheres to the lavatory bowl, left unflushed to stink and fester for hours in a desolate Wetherspoons cubicle; the sort of unholy, acrid stench that violently fills your nostrils as soon as you open the door, affronting you with its sheer, unbridled offensiveness. All you can do is exclaim, “FUCKING HELL,” beat a hasty retreat, and leave the whole disaster area for some poor, unsuspecting subsequent lavatarian to be confronted by.

Lordofthefiles

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #10 on: December 07, 2019, 03:31:48 PM »
The chances of Everton coming for Moyes
Are a million to one

imitationleather

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #11 on: December 07, 2019, 04:11:59 PM »
On the topic of Jordan Peterson's new website:

At least he's got his lost boys grift of teaching wayward teenage boys to clean their room. What the fuck have Dankula and Sargon got to contribute to the lives of lonely internet users beyond how to alienate all the female staff at CeX or be the attendee at a Games Workshop tabletop event everyone hates because he keeps making rape jokes and wanking on about cultural marxism?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #12 on: December 07, 2019, 05:24:35 PM »


Yeah I too laughed. I was gonna try and write the next line but it would have spoilt that. Let it stand alone.

BlodwynPig

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #13 on: December 07, 2019, 05:25:58 PM »
Saw him at the Warehouse Project in October and was about ten feet away from him. It was pretty incredible. He is skinny and smiley.

'Tectonic' is a word that comes to mind with his beats. 'Open Eye Signal' and 'Emerald Rush' and stuff, big rock formations crunching around.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #14 on: December 07, 2019, 07:03:16 PM »
Yeah I too laughed. I was gonna try and write the next line but it would have spoilt that. Let it stand alone.

Same for me on both counts. Great stuff.

grassbath

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #15 on: December 07, 2019, 07:09:57 PM »


So guffaw-some, I killed the thread after 1 reply.

BlodwynPig

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #16 on: December 07, 2019, 07:17:50 PM »
Look up Sutherland, so-named as it was the most southerly province ruled by the Jarl of Orkney but ironically on the northern tip of the mainland UK.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sutherland

Similarly Essex, Wessex, Sussex etc

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #17 on: December 07, 2019, 07:21:26 PM »
One from the vaults, there

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #18 on: December 08, 2019, 10:28:09 AM »
I'll show them your avatar first, they'll be equally impressed by your knee-slapping trivialisation of poverty and incest.


touchingcloth

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #19 on: December 08, 2019, 12:17:33 PM »
I laughed at that post in that thread by that poster the other day. Can someone link it?

imitationleather

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #20 on: December 08, 2019, 01:20:56 PM »
I laughed at that post in that thread by that poster the other day. Can someone link it?

It's in here somewhere:
https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?action=profile;area=showposts;u=6

BlodwynPig

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #21 on: December 08, 2019, 03:39:23 PM »
I laughed at that post in that thread by that poster the other day. Can someone link it?

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #22 on: December 08, 2019, 03:49:45 PM »
Oh, why's that then?

BlodwynPig

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Flouncer

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #24 on: December 09, 2019, 12:21:22 AM »
Nothing condenses CaB's partiality to viscera and existential loathing like the Snooker thread.

Quote
Stuart Bingham is like a stinking torrent of black, cloying Guinness-induced diarrhoea that adheres to the lavatory bowl, left unflushed to stink and fester for hours in a desolate Wetherspoons cubicle; the sort of unholy, acrid stench that violently fills your nostrils as soon as you open the door, affronting you with its sheer, unbridled offensiveness. All you can do is exclaim, “FUCKING HELL,” beat a hasty retreat, and leave the whole disaster area for some poor, unsuspecting subsequent lavatarian to be confronted by.

I feel the need to claim this lavatorial lament as my own, as it wasn't tagged with my username. :-)

chveik

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #25 on: December 09, 2019, 12:57:35 AM »
old thread. a french version of Legend Gary

Quote from: Looney Bergonzi
Légende Guillaume: Je pose une merde dans le croissant de Pubis D'Airelle...mort de rire!

Pubis D'Airelle: Mais non, Guillaume, encore, non, s'il te plant, c'est mon petit déjeuner!

Légende Guillaume: C'est ma merde! Putain! Mort de rire!

Pubis D'Airelle: Mais non...pas encore...Je me suiciderai cette fois.

madhair60

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #26 on: December 09, 2019, 03:13:33 PM »
Yes my child, the stories are true. *tears in eyes* All of them... Uncle Ray got dome off a ghost.

Chollis

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #27 on: December 09, 2019, 03:44:01 PM »
on Rick Stein

Puts me on edge. He's affable, sure, but you sense that he's always teetering on the edge of total mental disintegration during which he'll get very emotional and start crying and saying he "can't cope".

Very upsetting to watch.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #28 on: December 10, 2019, 08:47:11 AM »
They were inspirational.  As a child I would watch these pale alcoholics smoking Superkings and think: I could be an athlete.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #29 on: December 10, 2019, 07:39:09 PM »
Pretty sure James Bond was at a Pizza Express that night.

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