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The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2

Started by madhair60, December 06, 2019, 09:38:50 AM

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madhair60

Here we go again, post the posts that tickled you most

Quote from: Buelligan on December 05, 2019, 03:52:57 PM
Café Cunt has a lovely ring to it actually, we should open one up.


Noonling

If no one post some guffaws in the next 20 minutes I'm gonna leave work early.

Pdine

The word 'guffaw' actually derives from a Celtic word for a puffin who is also a cunt.

non capisco

Thomas on Bond

Quote from: Thomas on December 06, 2019, 04:04:44 PM
The 'mysterious personal history' angle was bang on for Skyfall, being as it was a meta-theme for the fiftieth anniversary, but for some reason they persisted with it in Spectre, culminating with the stupid 'secret brother who orchestrated everything all along' reveal. Hopefully Blofeld explains in this one that he was only joking. I see some parallels with Sherlock, and the things that went wrong in that series. Too inward-looking, too character-focused in weird ways.

On the other hand, the very idea of James Bond - the imperialist, white supremacist, misogynistic weapon of the state - doesn't make sense as a hero any more (he ends up going rogue or retiring in every film now, just so he can remain loosely on the side of the good guys in this post-Snowden era), so fuck it. They should go mad with it. Reveal that he's next in line to the throne, or that MI6 have invented time travel and he has to go back to Moonraker and fuck an alien. Flashback where he kills Jeffrey Epstein.

Replies From View

Quote from: Pdine on December 06, 2019, 01:41:38 PM
The word 'guffaw' actually derives from a Celtic word for a puffin who is also a cunt.

Never even heard of that specific puffin.

non capisco

Glebe's contribution to a Hal Hartley thread in Deeper Into Movies

Quote from: Glebe on March 15, 2018, 12:50:09 PM
[tag]Oh you do have my film? That's wonderful![/tag]

imitationleather


Glebe

Crikey, a chucklesome reaction from some comment I posted the guts of two years ago! Cheered me up that has, ta folks.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Nothing condenses CaB's partiality to viscera and existential loathing like the Snooker thread.

QuoteStuart Bingham is like a stinking torrent of black, cloying Guinness-induced diarrhoea that adheres to the lavatory bowl, left unflushed to stink and fester for hours in a desolate Wetherspoons cubicle; the sort of unholy, acrid stench that violently fills your nostrils as soon as you open the door, affronting you with its sheer, unbridled offensiveness. All you can do is exclaim, "FUCKING HELL," beat a hasty retreat, and leave the whole disaster area for some poor, unsuspecting subsequent lavatarian to be confronted by.

Lordofthefiles


imitationleather

On the topic of Jordan Peterson's new website:

Quote from: BritishHobo on December 07, 2019, 11:39:51 AM
At least he's got his lost boys grift of teaching wayward teenage boys to clean their room. What the fuck have Dankula and Sargon got to contribute to the lives of lonely internet users beyond how to alienate all the female staff at CeX or be the attendee at a Games Workshop tabletop event everyone hates because he keeps making rape jokes and wanking on about cultural marxism?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Lordofthefiles on December 07, 2019, 03:31:48 PM


Yeah I too laughed. I was gonna try and write the next line but it would have spoilt that. Let it stand alone.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: grassbath on December 07, 2019, 04:04:49 PM
Saw him at the Warehouse Project in October and was about ten feet away from him. It was pretty incredible. He is skinny and smiley.

'Tectonic' is a word that comes to mind with his beats. 'Open Eye Signal' and 'Emerald Rush' and stuff, big rock formations crunching around.

Ferris

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 07, 2019, 05:24:35 PM
Yeah I too laughed. I was gonna try and write the next line but it would have spoilt that. Let it stand alone.

Same for me on both counts. Great stuff.


BlodwynPig

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on May 24, 2017, 01:17:47 PM
Look up Sutherland, so-named as it was the most southerly province ruled by the Jarl of Orkney but ironically on the northern tip of the mainland UK.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sutherland

Similarly Essex, Wessex, Sussex etc

Ferris


Quote from: Sherringford Hovis on December 07, 2019, 03:46:27 PM
I'll show them your avatar first, they'll be equally impressed by your knee-slapping trivialisation of poverty and incest.


touchingcloth

I laughed at that post in that thread by that poster the other day. Can someone link it?

imitationleather


BlodwynPig




Flouncer

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 07, 2019, 07:57:01 AM
Nothing condenses CaB's partiality to viscera and existential loathing like the Snooker thread.

QuoteStuart Bingham is like a stinking torrent of black, cloying Guinness-induced diarrhoea that adheres to the lavatory bowl, left unflushed to stink and fester for hours in a desolate Wetherspoons cubicle; the sort of unholy, acrid stench that violently fills your nostrils as soon as you open the door, affronting you with its sheer, unbridled offensiveness. All you can do is exclaim, "FUCKING HELL," beat a hasty retreat, and leave the whole disaster area for some poor, unsuspecting subsequent lavatarian to be confronted by.

I feel the need to claim this lavatorial lament as my own, as it wasn't tagged with my username. :-)

chveik

old thread. a french version of Legend Gary

Quote from: Looney Bergonzi
Légende Guillaume: Je pose une merde dans le croissant de Pubis D'Airelle...mort de rire!

Pubis D'Airelle: Mais non, Guillaume, encore, non, s'il te plant, c'est mon petit déjeuner!

Légende Guillaume: C'est ma merde! Putain! Mort de rire!

Pubis D'Airelle: Mais non...pas encore...Je me suiciderai cette fois.

madhair60


Chollis

on Rick Stein

Quote from: Cuellar on November 07, 2019, 03:07:13 PM
Puts me on edge. He's affable, sure, but you sense that he's always teetering on the edge of total mental disintegration during which he'll get very emotional and start crying and saying he "can't cope".

Very upsetting to watch.

SteveDave

Quote from: shiftwork2 on December 09, 2019, 07:04:25 PM
They were inspirational.  As a child I would watch these pale alcoholics smoking Superkings and think: I could be an athlete.