The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2

[Jerzy Bondov]

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,82068.0.html

Goldentony's roasties diatribe

Amazing

[Ferris]

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,82068.0.html

Goldentony's roasties diatribe

That's brilliant.

Big GT fan over here. The thread about statues really made me laugh.

Edit: this one. Love the internal quasi-consistency between threads as well.

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,81849.0.html

[Mr Farenheit]

To think, James "Kamala" Harris died 2 days ago, possibly murdered by Bernie Bros who mistook him for a strong woman or job interview, he died, and what better way to celebrate his memory than through this commemorative VP pick?

I can't help but think of how gracious she's been in all this. The beetroot devil Bernie Sanders would have pandered to the hated youth with one of his trademark "Fat hangers", tasteless nighttime photos of his violet tummy spilling over various pieces of bedroom furniture. Kamala Harris did not do this because unlike Sanders she knows where to draw the line. Kamala grew up near Berkeley and knows exactly what sort of depravity Sanders was taught there, the sex dances, flowerbed fun, exposed shoulders, don't wash your hands before tea, Kamala knows this and with her first act as VP I imagine she'll have him sent to prison for perverting America's youth.

Prison Harris, they'll call her and it'll be orange drumpf and beetroot bernie, partners in crime, sharing a slapstick prison-rape bunkbed as misogynist co-conspirators in chief. Lock them up! Lock them up! Lock them up! To get Sanders you have to wait for his guard to come down, you get him in his hammock telling us bedtime was invented in the 1930s by big business to control us, he'll get het up into this whole spiel about insulin being too expensive whilst conveniently omitting you can make it yourself for free, he'll turn even redder and he'll flail around enough that he'll drop his pitchfork, and that's when you roll him up like one of the spliffs he so likes to toke. Set him into a glass ceiling like a beetle in amber so the girlbosses of tomorrow will be inspired to slay just like their queen.

[SpiderChrist]

It's these fucking rail-wagons, bringing in the wrong sort. A birmingham man started yarming at me outside euston station last night, how does he get to birmingham, how to get to birmingham and I had to point him back into the depths of euston station, shouldn't have been here in the first place. This man was fighting age, no doubt about it and we've rolled out the red carpet for him, he'll have had a sandwich on that train, England's sandwich and who do you think is paying for it? Cutting services isn't the answer, maybe some sort of cattle grid round the stations, get some ex-forces guys on the trains, let them do what they're trained to do, bish bash bosh and the problem goes away.

Pijlstaart is my only love.

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

[bomb_dog]

The post about someone's dad saying that black metal sounded like 'a skeleton wanking in a biscuit tin'

[PlanktonSideburns]

that was good

[BlodwynPig]

We'll be seeing that a lot more before the year is out. It's a classic

[canadagoose]

Love that Pijlstaart bit about Sanders. I don't know where he comes up with it.

[idunnosomename]

[easytarget]

The post about someone's dad saying that black metal sounded like 'a skeleton wanking in a biscuit tin'

I love me some black metal
but that's accurate.

[idunnosomename]

Yeah thats great

[jenna appleseed]

LUKE IS GETTING INTO HIS X-WING.

LUKE: Okay back there, R2?

R2: Twee-too!

LUKE: Good.

R2: I didn't say I was alright, I said I was fucking bricking it going into battle. Honestly, I thought you'd have learnt fluid R2 language by now, you fucking stupid prick!

LUKE: SHUT THE FUCK UP CUNT! I hope we get hit and you do that electronic scream!

R2: Crash 'n' burn, dickface.

[Cuellar]

Another belter

[Marner and Me]

LOL

[idunnosomename]

Rishi saw me eating a sandwich on a slatted bench, doubled back and crept up behind me on his haunches then stuck his thumb up my arse and waggled it

[Sebastian Cobb]

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/aug/13/hierarchy-of-racism-fears-threaten-starmers-hopes-of-labour-unity

[chveik]

wrong thread bud

[BlodwynPig]

wrong thread bud

tbf, its equivalent to the Labour thread atm

[Sebastian Cobb]

wrong thread bud

fair cop

[Ferris]

fair cop

AFCAB

[idunnosomename]

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/aug/13/hierarchy-of-racism-fears-threaten-starmers-hopes-of-labour-unity

lol

[Shit Good Nose]

AFCAB

Genesis consider, etc.

[petril]

AFCAB

All Fair Cops Are Bournemouth

[Chedney Honks]

Of course you can.  Simply loop an elastic band in a figure of eight around it and your nob, and off you go.

[Ferris]

All Fair Cops Are Bournemouth

Afsolutely Cabulous, actually.

[Satchmo Distel]

ABACABADOO

[Hand Solo]

ABACABADOO

[selectivememory]

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

YESSSS

Al, back with a bang, bang on form