The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

Two of the few photos we have of the forbidding Venereal surface,[nb]we've all got one[/nb] snapped shortly before the probe was destroyed by atmospheric conditions aliens with hammers:

Don't know why "aliens with hammers" tickled me so much but it really did.

[Better Midlands]

Yes

[Puce Moment]

mgvk,

[Thomas]

I believe private property is theft and no one should live in poverty. Emma [Kennedy] just thinks the Queen was brill for filming that bit with Daniel Craig.

[BlodwynPig]

Not funny but spot on.

[buttgammon]

Exactly the sort of eloquently funny rage that keeps me coming back to this forum.

[Paul Calf]

Drilling holes in all the cups and asking "why don't you do that with the ferries".

Pointing at ships and asking if they are ferries.

Trying to shove a ferry up his arse.

[Sebastian Cobb]

[Dr Syntax Head]

The inept film posters thread had me crying

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Mr Farenheit has a really good eye, not just taking film references and plonking the objects in there as replacements but understanding what elements of each of them are actually funny and building on that artistically.

[SpiderChrist]

Shere Hite, feminist author, gift to critics who like Spoonerisms, and the woman who taught me how to get to Clitheroe in a Vol vo. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-54120483
[/quote

[Pink Gregory]

That TRON photoshop fucking floored me.

[Toxteth OGrady]

Having looked at the edit history, perhaps not. The same person who put that in had previously also added this insightful piece of information:

Quote
Adam has spoken publicly about his ongoing battle with male pattern baldness, having lost almost all of his hair in his late 20s. He is keen for other young men who suffer with the same condition not to fee embarassed as he did and advocates strongly the wearing of baseball caps as a way of 'hiding the bald'. However, this too causes a struggle for Priestley due to the incredibly small size of his head and the need to buy hats in children's sizes.

He's a teacher at a school in Leeds, so the number of potential suspects is endless, really.

This in the Wikipedia thread. Still crying

[Paul Calf]

wait a minute

Last image took me completely by surprise.

[Danger Man]

Pretty much everybody in the Labour thread, a thread that just keeps on giving.

Except Kelvin. He's the sensible one. Almost the Keir Starmer of the thread, if you will.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

You must watch them all becoming consumed by bitterness and think 'shit, I need to reinvent my act'.

[bgmnts]

At least the sorry state of the country is making some people happy :)

[jobotic]

Money to be made!

[Paul Calf]

Eviction day is this week isn't it?

Danger Man's going to be busy.

[bgmnts]

Does Danger Man genuinely profit off of human misery? That would be a shame if true. :/

[Danger Man]

Does Danger Man genuinely profit off of human misery? That would be a shame if true. :/

We are all prostitutes....

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

We are all prostitutes....

How much, love?

[Shit Good Nose]

Both of these courtesy of Al in the Farage thread:

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

That bobsleigh one is terrifying. Genuinely a berzerk piece of brilliance.

[jenna appleseed]

From Pijlstaart (who else)
https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,82539.msg4312507.html#msg4312507

It was the poet Phillip Larkin who said of Hull:

There is heaven on the Humber,
bags of heroin, high in number,
your burdens it will unencumber
a sugared, black tar juicy plunder,
sweet needle rends your veins asunder,
hey ho, nonny no, give my skag a go

[Puce Moment]

Both of these courtesy of Al in the Farage thread:

That bobsleigh pic is just ridiculous you talented fucks.

[ASFTSN]

A friend of mine maintains that a friend of his works in a Golden Wonder factory, and that every so often the production line will spit out a gold rather than green packet of cheese and onion, these gold bags being intended to be eaten by the person responsible for checking quality on the production line.

My friend says he badly wants one of these golden packets of Golden Wonder for himself, but I suspect their existence may be bullshit[nb]This friend is the same friend who claims that on a night out he gave a tenner to the staff in a kebab shop so that he could come behind the counter and take a bite out of the döner cylinder while attached to the rotisserie. [/nb].

I don't know why third-hand claims like this always make me laugh, but that's an absolute belter.

[Sebastian Cobb]

You just won an Austin Montego you cunt.

[Better Midlands]

The magazine for people who create nothing but know everything.

This is quite a good line but could well apply to this forum (except for the magazine bit).

[pigamus]

give the kids footy shoes

ABSTAIN

put hammers and aids in the water

LANDSLIDE VICTORYYYYY