The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Uncle Rebrand's Uncancelled Rice.

[jobotic]

Pijlstaart in the wallowing thread.

If (like me) you can't speak German translate the German bit (like I did.)

[idunnosomename]

Go to the doctors, get the verruca off your bellend

Daylight come and I wanna go home

be singing this all day now

[Shit Good Nose]

[selectivememory]

^Yes, that one, and also this one:

[DistressedArea]

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Art.

[Butchers Blind]

From the same thread

Nearly had a hernia laughing.

[pancreas]

This thread is pure gold.

[Sebastian Cobb]

If Jesus's last supper was fortified wine and a bit of ice cream wafer no wonder it took him three days to sleep it off.

[SpiderChrist]

Yes, it's still funnier than Life's Too Short, but so is the GoPro footage of the New Zealand mosque shooting.

[idunnosomename]

That's a spicy meat-a-ball!!

[Sebastian Cobb]

i already think your a pedo mate

[touchingcloth]

The Iron Man of Coniston

[Thomas]

Half my enjoyment of Bake Off derives from Pijlstaart's episodic commentary.

[Dex Sawash]

They call them MX-5s over here in Blighty.

[The Mollusk]

Postman Pete, has big feet
Hear him walking down the street
Knock, knock, knock
ON YOUR DOOR
There's a letter
ON YOUR FLOOR

Actually crying laughing at this

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Actually crying laughing at this

The letter is from the government by the way.

[Crabwalk]

Amazing work, Al!

Also from the Idles thread and kicking things off:

Here we go then, just spent the last 15 mins writing this. I call it...

TOXIC AVENGER

'Scuse me, does my pink shirt offend ya?
Look at me, I'm the toxic avenger
Respecting women doesn't make me a bender
Nah mate, I'm the toxic avenger

Let's make an inclusive space
Join the queue, get the app, track and trace
Let's make an inclusive space
So we can start a circle pit on your face

[Chorus]
Read all about it, extra extra!
I eat flakes like you for breakfast
Calling all incels and sick molesters!
I eat flakes like you for breakfast

When you get to hell, tell 'em I sent ya
Who's that? It's the toxic avenger
In the future this'll be legal tender
Until then, I'm the toxic avenger

Let's make an exclusive bubble
So we can turn a blind eye to the trouble
Let's make an exclusive bubble
So we can float above your shitty little puddle

[Chorus]
Read all about it, extra extra!
I eat flakes like you for breakfast
Calling all incels and sick molesters!
I eat flakes like you for breakfast

Had me in bits, that.

[jobotic]

Your SOLD ASYLUM in the same thread had me in bits Crabwalk.

[Blue Jam]

Half my enjoyment of Bake Off derives from Pijlstaart's episodic commentary.

Yes, I came here to say it' s great to have him back in the Bake Off thread. No specific examples, it's all amazing.

[ZoyzaSorris]

I'm very ashamed to admit that the japseye thread has been end to end gold.

[holyzombiejesus]

https://soundcloud.com/nagsworth/toxic-avenger-idles-piss-take

It's done. Hear it and weep.

Alan is the best of us.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,82904.0.html

Angrew is too

[PlanktonSideburns]

Well, there's actually not much risk of that, to be fair.

[Better Midlands]

A vagina and arsehole forever changed

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

I had a music teacher at school who absolutely hated the sound of fingers sliding up and down the strings of a guitar and would bemoan that this "awful sound" was all over (partially ruining his enjoyment of) Segovia and Bream recordings what-have-you.

You should've followed him around with a little General MIDI keyboard, torturing him with 121 Guitar Fret Noise. Maybe even dubbing it onto some of his favourite records

[Dex Sawash]

It's just been confirmed Trump and his wife have both tested positive for the Coronavirus.

[Paul Calf]

^^ I love a good MIDI joke.

[Ferris]

What is it like in hospital in America?

Is Trump lying in bed, thumbing through a sales brochure, while salesmen in white coats and cowboy hats explain the various packages available?