The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2

[Pingers]

Glebe's David Dickinson thread is bringing me a lot of joy at the moment too.

My posts in that merely serve to highlight how good Glebe's are. It's a service I provide.

[beanheadmcginty]

"Children singing Christian rhymes"

[easytarget]

Richard Herring starts a podcast where he weighs his testicles each week and bets on which one will be heavier, and after two weeks sets up a £20,000 kickstarter to fund more episodes.

[touchingcloth]

A kipper isn't a species of fish.

[lankyguy95]

Ok I didn't quite guffaw but this deserved acknowledgement.

Glenn Close but no cigar.

[Kankurette]

Some of the posts in the Captain Tom thread. Too many to mention.

I am ashamed.

[non capisco]

Glebe's David Dickinson thread is bringing me a lot of joy at the moment too.

Binge read the whole thing this evening and laughed out loud multiple times.

David Dickinson gives Joe Swash a fiver to wash his Roller. "He's fucking desperate since his star went on the wane," Dickinson tells his wife as he watches Swash through the kitchen window. "Mind you, I've got off the boil meself in recent years. Still, I will never stoop to washing a car for a fiver."

[touchingcloth]

Binge read the whole thing this evening and laughed out loud multiple times.

I love that his name is spelled correctly in the latest posts, but that the thread title and early posts use an incorrect spelling.

[poo]

Yeah Glebe's coming out with some great stuff

[The Mollusk]

I love that Glebe has been absolutely bollocking this sort of stuff out relentlessly for so many years now, for better or worse. I think he's a real backbone of CaB, pretty much nowt but positivity and oodles of bonkers creative content.

[ASFTSN]

Glebe, G. Torso, Goldentony - the holy trinity of guffaw.

[Thomas]

having a wank? a succulent zoom wank?

[Paul Calf]

From the Nags' piss-taking dad thread:

Can we just agree that everyone's dad is taking the absolute piss?

Made me guffaw right in the middle of a work teleconf.

[bgmnts]

[Glebe]

You lot are a great inspiration.

[willy crossit]

From the Nags' piss-taking dad thread:

Made me guffaw right in the middle of a work teleconf.

and from the same thread:

do a big poo on his floor and say congrats you're a grandfather

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Partly Partridge of course but Ferris' use of 'rented grief hole' vis a vis Glinner still made me laugh.

[Paul Calf]

and from the same thread:

And yet another:

beat his fucking head in with your knob

[Ferris]

Partly Partridge of course but Ferris' use of 'rented grief hole' vis a vis Glinner still made me laugh.

Comes with a heavy qualifier and (valid) allegations of joke larceny, but Ferris is finally on the GuffawBoard!

[Paul Calf]

Perhaps it might have been a better idea to have given the pilot the portable oxygen supply.
That's actually just one of a long series of fuck ups by the crew from the sounds of it. It's not funny really but this bit made me laugh;

As the aircraft climbed, the pressure inside the cabin gradually decreased. As it passed through an altitude of 12,040 feet (3,670 m), the cabin altitude warning horn sounded. The warning should have prompted the crew to stop climbing, but it was misidentified by the crew as a take-off configuration warning, which signals that the aircraft is not ready for take-off, and can only sound on the ground. The alert sound is identical for both warnings.

Hennimore!!!

This made me laugh too. Thank you, Icehaven. I will see you in hell.

[JaDanketies]

Cross the road when you're following her home.

"Can I have a blueberry muffin and would you mind farting on it, please?"

lolled irl at both of these from the same thread

[Dex Sawash]

Rolls eyes

[DistressedArea]

TERINATOR CANT BE FUCKED ANY MORE JOBS FUCKED HIM OFF WIFES FUCKIN ROUND THE BEND

It's a Terminator that's so shit it can't complete its mission then some fuckin old bloke in a church gives it growth mindset so it tries one last time to complete its mission and it fuckin does


But that's not the end of the film there's a whole bit where it can't self Terminate and after completing its mission it's like NOW WHAT and the bloke from the church is in the corner of his eye winking and the Terminator's like ah yeah right.  Keep going with what I have learned, yeah?  And the old bloke is like yep

and we see the Terminator running fitness clubs for kids, but it's all filmed really badly like they didn't exactly have permission to film this bit so the camera keeps looking half at the floor or ceiling.  and that's how the film ends

[Thomas]

I SEE YOU KNOW YOUR JUDY WELL

fucks sake

[imitationleather]

That creased me n'all.

[Thomas]

Once got a phone call from a long dead colleague. People say, oh it's probably just that the numbers been reallocated or something, but the phone wasn't even plugged in at the time. I didn't answer it because he was a very boring man and I was quite relieved when he died although it was sad.

[bgmnts]

Sir, I'm going to need you to either pay for your pumpkin spice latte, or leave.

[Small Man Big Horse]

WHAT IS THE CHARGE? HAVING A MISCARRIAGE? A SUCCULENT BABY MISCARRIAGE?

It's the gift which just keeps on giving.

[Norton Canes]

Did anyone find it rather erotic when you nearly saw the woman's pants? I didn't but Replies From View just PM'd me to say it got him really hard.

[canadagoose]

It's unstoppable.

A SUCCULENT CHINESE VIRUS?