The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

All's Well That Curls Well
As You Shite It
Comedy of arse Tremors
Love's Bowels Lost
Measure for Measure of SHIT
Merchant of Venice WITH A POUND OF SHIT
Merry Turds of Windsor
Midsummer Shite Stream
Much a poo about Nothing
Taming of the Poo
The Tempoost
Twelfth Shite
Two Gentlemen of Verona (who do big fat shits on stage)
A Winter's Turd
Anturdy and Cleopootra
Coprolanus
Cymbeline but with Faeces
Hamlet but his dad is a big ghostly turd
Poolius Caesar
Ring Lear
Cackbeth
Poothello
Poomeo and Pooliet
Timon of Crapens
Shitus Andronicanus
Anus and Creshitta
Pericles, Prince of Shit
King John
Richard II, but on the John, where he does a big fat poo
Henry IV, Fart 1
Henry IV, Fart 2
Henry V but he shits himself
Henry VI, Parts 1-turd
RICHARD THE TURD
Henry VIII is genuinely a shit play.
Poo Noble Kinsmen

[canadagoose]

[pancreas]

So good to see these back again:

Beating a frying pan against your cummerbund to try and summon mister shrivelcock so you can consummate this night out with the suave bastard who tarmacked your Sega megadrive

[Twit 2]

Sublime.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Yes.

[Ferris]

https://www.onlyfoolsandhearses.co.uk/

I implore you to click the link and scroll down to the photos. Some absolutely sensational stuff in there.

[touchingcloth]

I'd love a cusotmised Dellboy send off.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I'd love a cusotmised Dellboy send off.

I bet you would you dirty old bollocks.

[Ferris]

It's the haunted "are we laughing or crying? Are we funny or sad?" looks from the participants that gets me.

That; and the leopard print OFAH-branded coffin of course.

[Ferris]

The testimonials page is getting into "point at laugh at grieving people" territory, but this is worth a dabble in the grey area.

...The funny thing is we don't even know if Ethel was a fan of Only Fools and Horses...

[jenna appleseed]

Scrivener is good

I tried that but it just kept popping up a box saying 'I'd prefer not to'.

[touchingcloth]

I like the testimonial which they clearly wrote themselves but after forgetting what form a testimonial is supposed to take:

he reaction from people is priceless," he said. "It makes everyone laugh and smile. It's always the worse thing waiting for the hearse to arrive, but when we turn up, it turns it into a celebration of life. The people always say to me they're sure their loved one is looking down and laughing. That's what it is all about. Life's too short.

[chveik]

nice, we're in clever jokes territory over here

[touchingcloth]

I think the only place I know about Bartleby the Scrivener from is Archer, so while I got the joke it also made me feel very low-culture and pseudy.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Look, that " Only Fools And Hearses" website has *got* to be a spoof, hasn't it?

[non capisco]

I somehow missed this one last month but it just had me giving it the full laughing policeman.

[jenna appleseed]

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,77570.1410.html

Laurence Fox wouldn't trust google to look after his dog, conversation diverts to just chatting about which dogs are easy/hard to look after for a bit

Blue Jam
"The only exception is the Cavalier King Charles Spangle. They're much calmer and just nice and affectionate. Very sassy though, they think every seat in the house is theirs. They're like a terrier trapped in the body of a spangle, but a bit calmer. I love them."

idunnosomename
"I had a pet opal fruit but i let google look after it for the afternoon and somebody ate it"

[TrenterPercenter]

Its base but it got me good.

From the prince phillip has passed thread

Do you reckon the Queen shaves her own legs, or does a servant girl have to do it?

"A little off the minge, ma'am?"

[canadagoose]

Usually I only click the Labour topic to make the "new" button go away but this caught my eye and gave me a laugh.

Reptilian piece of shit
Kelloggs Mournflakes
Pigopolists' Rape Alarm
Drab-o-matic
Full Pissface
Triumph of the Shill
Total Cellular Fuckdown
Embolism for Holborn & St Pancras
Lockmaster Keir with the big key ring
"It was entirely appropriate to SMS the termination of my relationship to my wife"
"Pub?" "I've got work tomorrow"
"We're having a meet up at uh, Brewdog on Thursday about quasi non-governmental opportunities concerning procurement"
"I'd uh, be uh very grateful if you would uh do me the uh great honour of uh extending my hand in marriage"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Party_of_Moderate_Progress_Within_the_Bounds_of_the_Law
Milk Monitor/Paper Boy/Prefect/Fire Warden/Minute taker/Tea-run operative
Gamete
Are you there Sir Keir? It's me Moaty, I've brought yerz some boiling chip fat and a shotgun
Faxed condolence card to former employee
"Fine people on both sides, for parking on private land featuring a clearly signposted list of rules and regulations"
Difficult relationship with Dad due to being a dead inside snake fuck
Uh uh uh.... some form of neo-third-way post-crash settlement incorporating the finest talents of the private and public sectors so BRITAIN PLC can be at its best
CLP receive Xmas card from Keir: "Thank you staff. Bromide sentiments to the team and have left some orange cordial to enjoy on the side"
Desert Island Discs: "Rio rapper BNegão, he's like a Zionist Stormzy."
Guest DJ slot on Radio 3 - "For me Der Blau Donau encompasses the emotions I feel after a troubled public sector partnership receives much needed front line investment from a private investment vehicle"
An Embedded Cunt
No Silicon Heaven? But... where would all the calculators go?
Keynote Speech: "In 2018 we sang 'Football's Coming Home'. In 2021 we sing "Britain's Coming Home"
"Being grown up means acknowledging areas where the Conservatives have got things right."
"In these troubled times, isn't having the courage and bravery to acknowledge the success of the status quo the real radicalism that will define the century to come"
"David Cameron told you he could sum up his priority in 3 letters, I can tell you my priority in 3 repeated staccato job titles: BIN MEN, BIN MEN, BIN MEN"

[PlanktonSideburns]

The only fools and hearses theme

[Paul Calf]

The video on that site somehow clicks through to a YouTube video of three Legend Gary twats poncing around the Balearics (two of them  maskless) complaining about CV19 restrictions.

https://youtu.be/kYC3TSqxsBQ

[touchingcloth]

Only fools in hearses soon.

[steve98]

The video on that site somehow clicks through to a YouTube video of three Legend Gary twats poncing around the Balearics (two of them  maskless) complaining about CV19 restrictions.

https://youtu.be/kYC3TSqxsBQ

"The 3 Amigos", Christ, what fucking torture. Honestly, why are they making this shit?

[Marner and Me]

You'd class them as Legend Garys? I scrolled through this vid clicking at random points and I'm annoyed I wasted that much time with it.

[idunnosomename]

"The 3 Amigos", Christ, what fucking torture. Honestly, why are they making this shit?

there is lots of MacMaster merch to buy

https://themacmaster.co.uk/

Of course hes called Lee.

[Paul Calf]

That video was shot and edited by someone who does this professionally?

Mercy.

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

You cheap, lousy gaylord

[Dex Sawash]

QR code avatar of CaB user touchingcloth makes an URL that I opened with a VPN and tor browser just to be safe

[canadagoose]

I laughed quite a bit at Captain Z and jamestc's "Only Fans and Horses" bit in that Only Fans topic. Still smirking thinking of it now.

[touchingcloth]

QR code avatar of CaB user touchingcloth makes an URL that I opened with a VPN and tor browser just to be safe

Honestly, you link to ONE peodo site...