The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2

[Hand Solo]

I ended up trying to explain Ron to somebody today.

Ann Hayward?

[jenna appleseed]

Re: Glinner Six Not Gender: Beyond Twitterdome: Racecar, backwards

"Mister Six
Quote from: Jumblegraws on Today at 09:29:22 AM
"I wonder if he has genuinely forgotten"... [about various things]

To be fair, he's not had a proper night's sleep in about two or three years."

"DrGreggles
He should get a proper bed then."

(new post cunt)

[touchingcloth]

Re: Glinner Six Not Gender: Beyond Twitterdome: Racecar, backwards

"Mister Six
Quote from: Jumblegraws on Today at 09:29:22 AM
"I wonder if he has genuinely forgotten"... [about various things]

To be fair, he's not had a proper night's sleep in about two or three years."

"DrGreggles
He should get a proper bed then."

(new post cunt)

Re: u wot? Where are the links mate.

[SpiderChrist]

Why would I listen to a guy who dropped his dog off the Empire State Building

[Twit 2]

I ended up trying to explain Ron to somebody today.

Ann Hayward?

Ron's wife.

[idunnosomename]

fucksake

Eating a meal?!! A substantial Chinese meal?!!!

[non capisco]

From the Paula Abdul 'Opposites Attract' discussion in the Top Of The Pops thread

He shits in bushes,
I sit on the loo
He licks his arsehole clean
I use a tissue

[Ray Travez]

Why in these awful saccharine jingoistic pageant murals of Captain Tom does it usually portray him with WWII Bombers and Spitfires flying around him?

Nearest he's been to a plane is when they make the cunt's coffin.

[Glebe]

[steve98]

 "OI MERKLE? SUCK MY BRITISH COCK." Go on Nige!

[Ambient Sheep]

This is actually one thing I'm happy to credit [terrible new Doctor Who showrunner Chris] Chibnall for. Moving the special to New Year's Day means I can watch it nice and quietly on my own instead of with my family feeling anxious that it's going to be another shit one.

This is true - now you no longer have any doubt about whether it will be a shit one.

Genuine bark of laughter from me for that one.

[Fambo Number Mive]

I know she was giving the baklava away but I wish she'd tried trading instead.
"Pudding swap needed - Bowl of ice cream wanted in exchange for piece of baklava. Baklava in good condition, unwanted gift. Ice cream only please. No timewasters."

From the Weird Things People Say thread.

[jenna appleseed]

He might be desperate for someone to build a 'golden bridge' for him to retreat down without losing face.
Unfortunately this is impossible as he has lost so much face he is now a dent in a skull.

[Cuellar]

Get in the hole!

[JaDanketies]

me

aww two posts in two pages! The less-confident part of my brain tells me I'm not funny enough to post on a comedy forum.

[Famous Mortimer]

Good work frajer!

"Today's lesson, how to publicly implode and practically guarantee you'll never get commissioned again. Not to sound arrogant but your ol' teach here nailed this one to the fucking wall."

[frajer]

Good work frajer!

Ahh, cheers!

Although I can only take credit for taking dictation from the self-appointed King of Women.

[buttgammon]

From the snooker thread:

Trump is claiming that he won last night by a lot.

[easytarget]

great thread - this stood out:

And now we're all round the Christmas table eating blankets of pig
And for afters let's all have some pudding of fig
And say Merry Christmas my dears and cheers to the host!
Remembering the Father, the Son and the Holiest of Ghost.

[JamesTC]

[magval]

It's brilliant, it even changes colour every time you refresh the page.

[Captain Z]

That's absolutely mental.

[magval]

For context, because the above-linked image has been fixed back the way it was, earlier tonight the owner of emmerdale.me.uk took umbrage with me criticizing the design of their anti-hotlink placeholder and edited it accordingly to swearily attack me by name, and I'm pasting the original evidence below because it DID make me laugh out loud (til I cried, and coughed, and couldn't look at the screen anymore), even though technically I posted it myself in a way.

[selectivememory]

Ah, yes, I was confused so thanks for clearing that up. That is quite mental.

Edit: also, yeah, Chedney's Xmas poem gave me a few good laughs, especially this verse:

The shepherd's could never of dreamed of that lockdown
As they made their dignified way to Bethlehem town
The only corona in sight was on the babe's head
And not in the lungs of the thousands of dead.

[idunnosomename]

boo i cant see it now

[Blue Jam]

That's absolutely mental.

It's brilliant, like something Kurtan from This Country would have on his Emmerdale production errors blog.

'member that time someone posted some crap t-shirt designs up here and the guy who owned the shop took exception and replaced all the hotlinked images with pictures of male models in leather fetish gear as if to try and embarrass us except it backfired because no-one was embarrassed and it just made him look like a massive homophobe.

[magval]

boo i cant see it now

[buttgammon]

So many other things I could have been doing.

There's so much to like about this one, even nice little touches like "self-styled 'cabbers'".

[Blue Jam]

^^^ I was already thinking this was pretty great and then I just completely lost it at "bald oblivion". Nice one greencalx.

[Dex Sawash]

Day's karma to webmaster@emmerdsle.me.uk