First gun lesson: "Squeeze the trigger, don't pull it."
It's an important lesson. Trigger pulling leads to falling through the bar.
Under the European Union General Data Protection Regulation we're entitled to know for what purpose ... oh wait, never mind.
Anything left of Pinochet
He's mostly compost by now, I would have thought.
Quote from: Butchers Blind on January 23, 2021, 12:28:53 AMSo if England had sex with Wales, what would be the baby?Merseyside
So if England had sex with Wales, what would be the baby?
The main one I remember is us all being made to get into groups of four and compose and then perform a Christmas song, the "winning" song would then go on to be performed in front of the whole school and whichever parents could be fucked to turn up at some kind of festive evening. Naturally, none of us were up for this and so you had an entire class of kids in groups of four competing to write the worst, most inappropriate Christmas song they could. Just loads of songs with one kid playing one note on the keyboard while the other three "sang" something in monotone along with it. "Here-come-the rein-deer. They-are-good", like bored Daleks. We decided to go route one offensive and do a "punk rock" song about getting flame throwers for Christmas and setting fire to our nans or some such sub-Vyvyan shit. Our main problem was we unexpectedly saddled the verses with a chorus that was comparatively catchy enough that I can still remember it to this day. It went like this. The keen eared musicologists amongst you will have heard that requires two notes on a keyboard, not just one. One of our group was directly related to a member of the soft metal band Thunder, I blame him for our inadvertent stumble into melodic competence. My original vision of the song was more earthy and basic but I was shouted down by the I dunno cousin was it of one of the 'Backstreet Symphony' hitmakers. Fatally insisted on that extra note. Calm down, Beethoven. So we had to sing that bollocks for two nights running (yes, there was an extra night added through overwhelming pubic demand) in front of the whole school and their parents, and they made us change all the lyrics about nan immolation to a load of utter pablum about building snowmen. They let us keep the lyric "Morning time, christmas cheer. Dad's in bed....too much beer!" but the suggestion of the music teacher was that we "pause for the laugh" after this bit. Fucking tumbleweed, wunnit? Probably a load of dads thinking "Eurrgghhh, rumbled. The boy's onto my functional alcoholism."Many years later a ravaged looking goblin of a man I didn't recognise drove past me slowly in Meopham and sang "IT'S CHRISTMAS! IT'S CHRISTMAS! LA LA LA LA LA, IT'S CHRISTMAS!" before speeding off. Dunno who that was. One of Thunder, maybe.
So much lol crammed into a single post, that last bit takes it through the stratosphere for me.Make sure you click the link.
The twat can eat a dog egg as far as I'm concerned.
how about a film where there is a giant ape monster thing, really massive to the point where you are baffledand also a giant lizard monster thing that breathes fire, also huge but with less of a frame of reference and they stomp around on these “leg” things all day smashing stuff up then one day they notice each other. they cross paths somehow and they’re like “eh up” and start eyeballing each other and for most of the film they’re eyeballing each other and you get to see all the latest up to date deep-fake technology in the giant ape monster’s face. it should have an uncanny valley thing going onthen the ape one starts swinging a bin lid around his head using webbing, and just as the bin lid is about to smash into the lizard one’s head: end filmyeah? and their names could be “flotsam” for the lizard one and “ning” for the ape one
Ohhhhhhhhhh I've ruined my life, I've ruined my lifeI'm a stupid old cuntAnd I've ruined my life
Ooooh Yooou...Charge for replies, you charge for replies,You're running out of platforms to peddle your lies,You charge for replies, you charge for replies,You're a fucking mental bigot and you've got wonky eyes.
The Glinny BearsTERFing here and there and everywhereRuining their lives beyond repairThey are the Glinny Bears
The first time I watched Eraserhead I got about 15 minutes into it before I realised the fucking telly was muted. There’s no dialogue for ages, I thought it was setting a mood with total silence.
As much as I despise the vast majority of their political commentators, I reserve special ire for whoever writes The Measure in the magazine on Saturdays.Going upCloud socks It’s too summery for house clogs. Try these cashmere socks, which look (and feel) like clouds.Darn-core Toast has online classes to teach you how to mend your clothes, while Grenson now has a shoecycling repair service. Fashion: Saving you a pretty penny.Hi, fidelity Tower Records is back (online at least). Time to get your vinyl thrills in.Morning candles If the only thing that got you through December was putting the Christmas tree lights on at 7am, try a breakfast candle.Going downPavement scooters To quote Tina Wilcox in Jaws 2: “Please make it go away.”Beersteria We thought the worst thing about Tier 4 was pubs closing. Turns out we miss galleries more. Roll on Turner at the Tate.Celebrity wine Forget about it. Now Elon Musk’s Tesla does tequila, we’ll have what he’s having.Hollywood hotties In the spirit of 2020, utterly weird crushes dominated the US election coverage, with everyone going gaga for the geeky newscasters.https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/series/the-measureWhy would anyone willingly write that?
Made me laugh partly as it's exactly the sort of thing I'd do myself.
Years ago, my girlfriend said she really wanted to see the film "Kicking and Screaming", which I'd never heard of. In Fopp, shortly before her birthday, I noticed a Kicking and Screaming DVD and thought "what luck". But rather than 1995 Noah Baumbach debut she wanted, I gifted her the 2005 Will Ferrell vehicle of the same name, about a kids soccer team.
I did a great windup on a flatmate once, where we were flicking about channels, only to end up on 'Step up 2: The Streets', which is some absolute shite film about 'street' break dancing. He was about to keep on flicking when I told him to wait, that 'there's this amazing scene in a minute, honestly it's absolutely sick'.Ended up watching the entire rest of the film (45 minutes worth). There was no amazing scene, I knew there wasn't one. I just wanted him to watch a shit film.
"I was looking for a job, and then I found a job / And heaven knows, I'm miserable now / In my life, why do I give valuable time to people who don't care if I live or die?" :- Beast Man
She-ra Take a Bow
assholes assholes assholes, tits and bums and cockspenises and lady parts and semen in your socksnipples on a pair of jugs and fourteen day old cumthere's a spectre haunting Europe and it's coming from your bum
