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The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2

Started by madhair60, December 06, 2019, 09:38:50 AM

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The Mollusk

That whole thread is so good. Love it when a niche subject like that brings out the best of the forum.

Rich Uncle Skeleton

may have posted this before but I still think about this from the Festival Of Brexit thread ages ago

Quote from: Captain Z on November 05, 2019, 10:38:25 AM
and now, the 'I don't believe it' dancers!

Jockice

crankshaft


Re: Musical 'F*** my Hat, I didn't know that!'

Atomic Kitten was actually Karl Bartos' suggestion as an outlet for McCluskey's more pop-oriented songs afte OMD were cast onto the chart scrapheap.

Yes, Andy's revelation that Karl Bartos recommended he put together a band to do his songs is terrific - almost as good as the story of him collaborating with Electronic. Barney and Johnny were expecting him to come in and start building snare drums out of white noise; instead, he entered the studio and threw his coat over the computer saying, "we won't be needing this!", then picked up a guitar and started playing bluegrass. Legend.


Cuellar

Quote from: Jockice on April 01, 2021, 01:46:38 PM
crankshaft


Re: Musical 'F*** my Hat, I didn't know that!'

Atomic Kitten was actually Karl Bartos' suggestion as an outlet for McCluskey's more pop-oriented songs afte OMD were cast onto the chart scrapheap.

Yes, Andy's revelation that Karl Bartos recommended he put together a band to do his songs is terrific - almost as good as the story of him collaborating with Electronic. Barney and Johnny were expecting him to come in and start building snare drums out of white noise; instead, he entered the studio and threw his coat over the computer saying, "we won't be needing this!", then picked up a guitar and started playing bluegrass. Legend.


Skim reading that I thought Atomic Kitten were an outlet for popular Welsh band Mclusky's 'more pop-oriented songs'

Now THAT fucked my hat


Ferris

^bastard! I was about to post that but was slightly too pissed.

idunnosomename

it's crying little shitty chocolate helicopters! this is the dawning of the age of aquarius

Shoulders?-Stomach!




Blue Jam


non capisco

A couple of choice cuts from the 'Mates who talk bollocks' thread

Quote from: MoreauVasz on April 01, 2021, 08:30:33 PM
I knew a lad who once arrived late for something and claimed that he'd been held up because a lorry had turned over outside his flat.

Apparently when the police arrived, a load of chemicals that had spilled out of the truck and dissolved a copper leaving only a policeman's helmet floating in some chemicals.

Quote from: Mr Farenheit on April 02, 2021, 06:30:16 AM
My friend jammed two disks at once into his Amiga. He was able to play Kick Off with Robocop on his team who could shoot other players.

buttgammon

The crying helichocter and the dissolved policeman both had me almost crying with laughter.

I always enjoy threads like the Mates who Talk Bollocks one. Another standout post is this one

Quote from: Thomas on April 01, 2021, 10:03:36 PM
My brother had a schoolfriend who claimed to be a) Tony Blair's nephew and b) a robot. Said he fell off the Empire State Building shortly after he was born/assembled.

non capisco

Quote from: buttgammon on April 02, 2021, 09:42:10 AM
I always enjoy threads like the Mates who Talk Bollocks one.

Me too. And every time the subject comes up there's somehow always a fresh crop of great anecdotes.

That Now That's What I Call CaB thread brought back this beauty of a line from Nags. Laughing as much now as I did the first time I read it.

QuoteMate there's so much grubby balloon knot on display you'll be howlin like a fuckin wild ape at the end of it.

popcorn

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on April 01, 2021, 12:59:42 PM
People who litter on purpose and dont have a reasonable excuse should be made to eat their litter and not stop until they have fully swallowed. Enjoyed eating that Pepsi can did you?

non capisco

Quote from: Non Stop Dancer on April 02, 2021, 08:34:13 PM
A mate of a mate, Chalkie, about 13 at the time, was in the Gulf War (drafted by the army because he was so good at cadets) and had Sadam in his sights and was about to pull the trigger, but was stopped by his Sargent at the last second because he'd forgotten to bring his killing lisence with him.

poo



Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: king_tubby on March 29, 2021, 10:34:11 PM
Legend Gary's booked going to Twycross Zoo at 10am on April 12th so he can be the first person for 6 months to call the elephant a 'trunky cunt'.

Shoulders?-Stomach!



The Mollusk

Quote from: Gregory Torso on April 02, 2021, 11:22:13 AM
As an aside, I just remembered a rather beautiful exchange I had with Pilchard. In Lincolnshire, "something" is pronounced like "summits", and one time me and the Pilch were sitting in his living room stoned and I asked him "Pilchard, what is this music?", and he said "the summits of paradise" and I said, "ah, wow, the summits of paradise..." but actually Pilchard had said "the... something? of paradise" because he couldn't remember the word "sabres".

This is such a silly anecdote, had me gibbering like a twat sat on the toilet with a mouthful of coffee unable to swallow just now. Yes I drink my coffee while I have my morning shit and I don't care who knows it.

Jockice

Quote from: non capisco on April 02, 2021, 10:43:15 AM
Me too. And every time the subject comes up there's somehow always a fresh crop of great anecdotes.

The one about the rasta mate with the sword and the gun is my favourite so far.


The Bumlord

Wrong thread you absolute anus

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Utterdrivel on April 03, 2021, 12:31:31 PM
Wrong thread you absolute anus

I quite liked the suggestion of supreme confidence from typing your post for that topic directly into the Guffaw thread.

Retinend

Quote from: Thomas on April 01, 2021, 10:03:36 PM
My brother had a schoolfriend who claimed to be a) Tony Blair's nephew and b) a robot. Said he fell off the Empire State Building shortly after he was born/assembled.
Quote from: dr beat on April 02, 2021, 10:19:45 AM
And that boy grew up to be Keir Starmer.

The Bumlord

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on April 03, 2021, 12:59:15 PM
I quite liked the suggestion of supreme confidence from typing your post for that topic directly into the Guffaw thread.


Supreme Confidence is my middle name.


Also I deleted the text rather than c&p into the relevant thread so it turns out I'm a double anus.