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The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2

Started by madhair60, December 06, 2019, 09:38:50 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

mothman

Quote from: turnstyle on April 13, 2021, 03:07:36 PM
Once shared a place with a woman whose boyfriend used to come around and have loud sex with her, then finish up, come into the living room and talk to me about The Darkness (the band, he wasn't depressed or anything) in his boxers, the sickly aroma of intercourse in the air [...] Even now the increased pace of heavy breathing and the last few laboured moans of coitus instill a fear in me that someone is going to pop up and talk about Justin Hawkins.

JaDanketies


Butchers Blind

Quote from: non capisco on April 14, 2021, 12:35:11 AM
"Teach myself to cook" sings 77 year old Mick Jagger. EEEEEERE KEEF I'VE JUST DISCOVERED A NOO RECIPE IT'S CALLED BAKED BEEEEEEEANS

I'm saying that in the Phil Cornwell impression voice.

Paul Calf

Quote from: idunnosomename on April 13, 2021, 05:17:43 PM
the pink starmer continues to vacuum up his entire house in pursuit of the vote of a racist fly.

Inspiration for Wimblewrong?

Twit 2

Quote from: Goldentony on April 14, 2021, 04:46:56 AM
fucking absolutely hate all this carrot stick served in a new balance shite, the grim semester of melancholgy that grips me when I walk side on into the same shitty chilly veg aisle in the TESCO and get to go with fresh or bagged bollocks and either way look like a big fat wanker who shovels pre chopped beetroot into his gob going FUCKIN YEEES HEALTHY THE BOYSBRRRB4LBLRBR  and pissing myself into silence and no interest. Hate that posh nice gear is priced out of me and I demand fucking nice gear sent to me for free if these fuckers are going to have the nerve to tell me to have the invasion of a box of weird shit anyone could have spat on sent to mt house with instructions on how to make it, terrifying, stuff of a stephen king novel, the guy who agreed to have carrots sent to the gaff for eternity

Blue Jam

Beat me to it. This also reminded me of the time Goldentony was in CaB Radio spewing a stream-of-consciousness list of insults that included "YOU FOOD-EATING BASTARDS".

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Ferris


Blue Jam





Blue Jam


Thomas




idunnosomename

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on April 17, 2021, 02:45:26 PM
SPARKS THE BOTFLY LARVA FROM STEVE ROWE'S TERRIBLE BLOTCHY ARSECHEEK
a delicious swissroll with ruby chocolate icing and lollipops

drinking a cup of tea and it went up my nose and it seems to have got stuck up there

Ferris

Quote from: Jerzy Bondov on April 18, 2021, 08:05:01 PM
The other night I got this pad Thai kit and it had a thing of dried chillis, it said to add a dash if you want more of a kick, I was like okay mate I know my limits, just a pinch it is, but the whole lot fell in. Blew our arses off. But it was a fun bonding experience. I tanned a load of the kids petit filous and it sorted me out

The resolution caught me off guard.

BritishHobo

Quote from: billyandthecloneasaurus on April 11, 2021, 09:11:47 PMI wasn't that sad to find out that particular story was bollocks, more that it made me look at a lot of other excellent anecdotes in a different light.  My favourite stupid one being that him and his mates had this mutual friend who just went totally AWOL for about 18 months, no phone calls, nothing, until one day he randomly turned up at the house a few of them lived in, came in on a little motorbike scooter thing, did a couple of laps around the table in the front room, then drove off into the night, not to be seen for another couple of years.

Inspector Norse


mothman



jenna appleseed

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on April 18, 2021, 01:37:39 PM
I'm really charmed by this small bear in a sheepskin jacket but I'd hate to have it on my shelf without knowing all the lore about "Del Boy" otherwise my friends might think I'm a poseur.

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on April 18, 2021, 01:39:12 PM
If only Ramones t-shirts were accompanied by a leaflet explaining all the lore!



popcorn

Quote from: Bazooka on April 22, 2021, 04:31:44 PM
September 11th 2001, a day I will never forget, my copy of Soldier of Fortune for the Dreamcast was waiting for me when I got in, such a violent day.

The gratuitous inclusion of "such a violent day" pleases me


jenna appleseed

whole chunks of the war of the caterpillar cakes thread especially

Quote from: JamesTC on April 17, 2021, 10:51:45 AM
Doesn't even taste like caterpillar.

Quote from: Butchers Blind on April 17, 2021, 10:57:56 AM
If you leave it long enough it does turn into one of these..



Caterpillar fake


jenna appleseed

also

Quote from: Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse on April 22, 2021, 10:21:20 PM
why would I want salt off someone's manky unwashed elbow

Quote from: touchingcloth on April 22, 2021, 10:35:01 PM
Yet apparently when I prepared crêpes suzette with my dick that was cause for dismissal from The Ivy?